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Hello all,
I would be grateful for your advise on the following matter.
Current contact and my problem with it
I have contact in the community with my son every Saturday for 3 hours. Handovers and drop off occur at the contact centre.
The next hearing is in 3 weeks time and I hope to get more time with my son and also move handovers out of the contact centre. I want the handover to move out of the contact centre since I believe the current arrangement restrict the quality time my son can spend with me. For example, contact can only occur when the contact centre is open.
For example, I did not see my son over the Xmas period since the contact centre was closed and my ex partner refused to have hand overs occur anywhere but the contact centre.
Background
Findings were made against me for DV and I accepted the findings so that I could get onto the DV course.
I spent two years pleading my innocence. The crown prosecution service found me not guilty and the judge at the non-mol hearing made no findings agaisnt me. However the judge at the child hearing made findings. I wasnt even in the country for one of the allegation. It was then I realised it was pointless arguing and trying to make them see my version of events. The family courts want to keep things simple; they want a victim and a bad guy. I needed to be the bad guy and I needed to tick all their boxes to show that they have tried to reform the bad guy. So I gave them what they wanted and went on their DV course.
It was strange, at the hearing after the DV course was completed, my wife was adamant that I was talking BS and only admitting to the DV to progress contact.
Anyway, as expected the judge gave me contact in the community. I ticked the box and magically all their concerns about me having contact in the community disappeared. Dont get me wrong, Im grateful but I lost faith in the whole system thereafter. It was just a box ticking excerise. Tick that box and you cover their arses just in case you do turn out to be a nutter.
Solutions to problem
My ex partner will not agree to moving handovers out of the contact centre. The current arrangement is good for her since I can only see son when centre is open. Nor will she agree to someone else, like my mum, mediating the handovers.
How can I convince the judge? what arguments can I use.
Hi there
Generally speaking, the court will give a reluctant mother time to accept changes, but if you have ticked all the boxes and jumped through all the hoops they will usually order progression whether with the mothers agreement or not.
I would prepare a brief position statement to take to the next hearing, outlining the steps you have taken and what you have achieved. Give reasons why contact should be progressed; the limitations caused by contact not being allowed to progress outside of the centre, your child's right to be able to spend quality time with you in the community, to develop your relationship with each other and to meet and form bonds with his paternal family....that kind of thing.
All the best
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