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my ex allpws me to see my children then decideds to stop ,,my children when they srr me ask if they can have more time with me,,,then i say to them you need to discus this with your mum...b ecouse of this she now says the children go back to her with an attitude therefore she has now stopped contact yet agai,,,what can i do
Hi Keith and welcome
In my opinion, you are not going about this in the right way - by telling them they need to discuss it with their mum means that you are putting them right into the argument, and you need to be keeping them out of it as much as possible.
I would say that the first step would be to try mediation - if possible discuss it with your ex first, but if not, then contact National Family Mediation service on 0300 4000 636 and have a word with them.
Hi Keith,
I agree with actd, you shouldnt be telling your children to discuss it with their mum. Its puts them right in the middle of the "fight". Not sure your exs response should be to stop contact but there we go, shes done it now and all you can do is repsond.
How old are you kids?
What contact are you having at the moment?
I wuld suggest you write to your ex (recorded delivery) asking for contact to be reinstated immediately. Then go on to say that the children have indicated they would like to spend more time with you and that you would like to discuss this with your ex and come to a workable solution for all of you. Request that you either meet to discuss or attend mediation (Depending on whether you and the ex can communicate).
Do you think you and your ex could tak about it either face-to-face or via email?
If not you could attempt mediation. Actd has provided the number below. They will invite you to an initial session, decide if you are suitable for mediation and then contact your ex.
If this fails your only options are to either
a) go to court for a contact order
b) live with it
c) walk away all together.
I would reccommend option a.
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