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Hello everyone
I've been seeing my son on a regular basis after work on Mondays Wednesday's Friday's and having him at the weekends but I was late getting to his mothers house one day due to traffic so she stopped it and only left Sunday open for me to see him.
After a few arguments and seeing she wouldn't change her mind I needed to do something to get my mind off it so I put everything into work and now I only have Sunday's off and work late In the week.
We had an arraignment that I could have my son every Sunday and this was going good until I started to find things out, I found a bruse on his leg and questioned his mother about it and she stood and laughed at me and told me it she caught his leg in car seat clip then I found out he had fell out his swing chair and also off his change unit so this started of more arguments as I wanted answers but she wouldn't give me them, after a few days it all calmed down and she let me have him over night and it was one the best times I had she gave me all the things I needed to look after him and told me to bath him before he goes to bed she gave me a pot a cream to put on him after his bath and that's when I noticed something very disturbing and worried me to the point that something needed to be done the cream in question was 3 years out of date and also prescribe to some other random person that I don't know so I asked her about it and she told me it was fine also but I was not going to put it on him and kept the cream so she couldn't put use on him, this is when problems started, I went to see a solicitor for some advice and they insisted on sending her a letter it reminded her of my rights and that I wanted to see my son because now she has stoped me altogether she has flat out refused to go to mediation and keeps saying take her court and now that she knows I'm not playing around she is trying everything she can to justify why she won't let me see my son and her latest is that she wants a professional body to come into my home and asses weather its fit for my son to be there so my question is can she leagly do this? and also do I have to allow it in order to see my son ?
Sorry for the long message
Hey mate,
Unfortunately until you get a Child arrangement order in place she can do what she likes i'm afraid although court is stressful and will make the situation worse initially it's well worth doing as it stops them from messing you about and having to pander to their every whim just to see your child.
They may be nothing behind the bruises ect kids are always knocking themselves about I picked my girl up wrong and hurt her arm then found myself making excuses up that she done it another way as I was that worried I would be made out to be a child abuser.
Most mum stop contact all together when the threat of court is on the cards and she will dig her heels in even more once you start the ball rolling if you're using a solicitor that will make things 10x worse you don't actually need one really either.
If you can find a way of coming to an agreement before going to court that will be a lot better as the courts will push you both into working together for the sake of your child anyway so it is best to start trying to build bridges now it will make it easier in the long run I never saw my 6 month old for 10 months whilst I went through court and it was a killer I wish I had started working on the ex before I did but it's so difficult with court conflict going on although I am so pleased I got an order in place as it's worked out brilliantly as I don't get any grief off the ex anymore at all and we're completely co-parenting now with no issues.
take care
Slim 🙂
Hi there
There is no precedent for a professional body to inspect your property! As she has already agreed to an overnight stay and your son has stayed with you, which went well, she has rather shot herself in the foot.
Mediation is the first step and it is compulsory before court action can be taken. You would first need to speak to a mediator about the issues and they would then write to your ex and ask her to attend. If she refuses or mediation fails, then the mediator will sign the section on the C100 form that will enable you to make an application for a Child Arrangements Order for contact.
Perhaps if you contact her and tell her that you have taken legal advice and the first step before court is mediation to try and sort it out. Point out that her refusal might not look favourable if it gets to court as they much prefer parents to put their differences aside and work together for the childs benefit.
Best of luck
If letting her come see your beautiful abode would reassure her to letting you have your child back, why not? Guess you could try the softly softly approach again, agree to disagree that you've both let the matter go out of hand and why let a stranger decide on your matters.
End of the day, cafcass might refuse (probably would) to visit your place if you do not have a dangerous pet or lodger (check also would need to be carried out on the person).
Hi There,
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I agree with the above, although it's controlling and an invasion of your privacy, if letting her see your home is all it would take then maybe it's worth biting your tongue and letting her, try and build some bridges.
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I think sometimes you have to pick your battles and this one seems easy to fix.
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Just my view, if you didn't want her to come to your home, as said above you would need to look into mediation and then possibly court if you couldn't resolve things.
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GTTS
I agree with the others above, but I do want to also especially agree with you about one point. Chances are, we all have pots of cream that are way past their use by date,but if it's been prescribed by a doctor, then it's not the usual E45, sudocrem etc - this is something that probably isn't available over the counter, so at the very least, I'd google it and find out what it is that she's being putting on him.
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