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Hello all,
A few questions....
Can the mother of my son just decide i cant have him/or even speak to him on the phone?
Her reason is she does not like his grandma (my mum) as they play 'belliees' this involves touching each other bellys. my son loves spending time time with me and his grandma... we do things make things and have a good time. last tue she decides im having no contact with him as she does not agree with playing 'bellies' the police got called and no action is being taken because its a innocent game my 4 year old plays... now she is saying he is scared of me... this is well out of order, me and my son have a very good relationship and he loves coming to my house twice a week and every other weekend which was arranged via mediation.
I'm self employed so i can spend alot of time with my son, giving him all my time when i have him.
She also says i cannot pick him up from school, where as i used to pick him up from nursery, because its a 'mum's' job to pick him up.
Ive spent over Β£1000 going though solicitors where me and mother agree then she justs changes her mind, i feel like she is filling my sons head with rubbish about me. I'm a good dad and she agreed upto last tue... i feel he is missing out and me... she told me i'm not to ring or see him for his own good. so i went to see my 3rd solicitor and low and behold they have closed down and not told me... huh great....
I need help in this matter π i'm so sad rite now, and i know my son will be to.
in his younger days (before nursery) i had him every day 10am to 2pm the following day.
I'm sick of her making the rules because shes the 'mother' and its a 'mothers' job to....
hope ive not gone on to much
peace out
Joe
I'll probably just be classed as a sexist angry father here but.......
what you have here is no different to many fathers on this site and in the country.....you have a Controlling person trying to keep her control over you.
When she starts to feel threatened by losing this control she has over you she then uses the child!.....mine has been pretty much sinc ehe was born....and worse when i challenged her by daring to fight for more time (taking her to court)
this is a challenge to her...and "how dare you challenge her, she knows best"!!! this is what she will be thinking....plus she will be getting the back up of all her "men hating" friends suggesting what they'd do to their man (if they have one) if he dared do anything like that to her!
i've nothing better to say but try and keep calm, keep things as amicable as humanly possible, email or text will always give you a record of conversations.....anything verbal she says to you or you say to her unless recorded is just "he said - She said" in court!
Use the advice of the great wealth of knowledge from the contributers on this site to help guide you in your fight....
i've said it before.....Don't under-estimate the depths she may sink too!!!
Hi Joe and welcome π
You have two options open to you. The first is Mediation, this is where you would both attend at a mediation centre and with the guidance of a trained mediator, talk through the issues and hopefully come to an agreement. As you've tried through solicitors, and reached agreement only for her to renege, then perhaps this might not provide an adequate solution. Heres a link anyway ~
www.nfm.org.uk
The second option is to apply to the court for a defined contact order. You can do this without a solicitor, many Dads decide to do just that and it costs Β£200, as opposed to the thousands it would cost if you have a solicitor representing you. There are a couple of stickys at the top of the Legal Eagle section, one is called "Contact Order C100 Guide", this is the form that you would need to fill in and submit to court to apply for contact. The other is called "A Guide to Representing yourself in Court" and has lots of useful information about the court process.
Courts consider that both parents should be involved in a childs life, and will in most cases support the non resident parents right to have a relationship with his/her child, as this is believed to be in the childs best interests. If you have had regular time with your child, consistently over a sustained period, then in normal circumstances the court would want this to continue. Denying a child contact with a parent that they are fully bonded with is detrimental to the child.
Its advisable to keep a diary of all contact you have with the mother, in fact make a note of absolutely everything that involves your child, with dates and times. Try to avoid telephone contact, but if thats not possible make a transcript of the conversations immediately after. This record of events will be a useful resource if you got to court.
Good luck with everything π
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