[Solved] Mother Refuses Mediation

Hi,

I am also a partner of a father that went through what you have described.

How far do you live from the mother & child/their school?

Unfortuantely i only know of mediation outside of court.

To put a child arrangement order in place i believe my partner paid £215 for the order and your partner can self represent. (I feel majority of dads self represent because of costs - my partner has always and still is self representing himself)

Every other weekend is standard and sometimes with mid week evening/s, having said that it is also dependant on circumstances.
If you live close by to the mother/School and the father has had regular contact and active involvement with his daughter's life, I don't see why you couldnt have 50/50 share?

If you went through court there would be an order in place that would state when the child is to spend tiem with your partner and when she should spend time with her mother which would hopefully stop the mother just taking time away. In court the judges will try to get the mother and father to come to a mutual agreement. If the parents cant decide the judge will make a decision for them based on what they believe would be in the childs best interests.

Generally i think orders are 50/50 or every other weekend with mid week contact and shared school holidays.

I really wouldn't be able to help for solutions outside of court as the only way i know is mediation! (sorry!)

Thank you for your message.

We live a 30 minute drive from where his daughter lives with his mum - accessible by train etc and travel isn't an issue at all to us. However because of this, he knows he won't get 50/50 and he's also not asking for it - he's simply asking for an extra night/day a week to keep contact consistent.

As the mother works until 6, (and in the nursery that her daughter goes to too) it's not something that is offered as by the time they get home, it's bedtime.

She won't let him sort any weekday nights though to come to an ideal for both parents it's just a downright no. However this is something we will be pushing for when it comes to her starting school in September as he can pick her up from School and speak to his work about his hours of course so he can be there.

It's nice to know people have represented themselves - I think it's a worry that more time will be taken away from him or nothing else will come of it, but they do have such a good relationship, it's such a shame it's not supported by the mother!

Thank you for your response, it's given us a little more hope that representing yourself isn't a negative thing.

Hi There,

30 mins away isn't that far, So there would be no reason you couldn't have mid week contact.

As already said you would need to at least try mediation before you could look at court. if the ex won't attend or you can't agree, then you can apply to court.

The fee is the only amount you have to pay, and as said you can represent yourself, we can help with advice and support, we will even help with position statements as well as long as we have the time, we will try and help you to write them, but worst case we will read them and give advice on what parts to change, amend or leave out.

Many of us have been through court and most of us have self represented throughout.

GTTS

Thanks so much for your reply, that's helpful to know.
Yes this will be the 4th mediation session now so he's no stranger to it, just hope they can come to a mutual agreement!

Thanks again, you've all been very helpful x