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Hi,
Not sure if there is anyone on here that has been through a similar situation or anyone that can advise me on what I need to do?
Situation is that a year ago I left my wife, we have 2 children and I have been a very active father in their lives. I have changed jobs so that I was able to do school runs, I take them to dance classes and swimming and have always been just as involved, if not more than their mother was.
After the separation, we agreed that I would take them 2 days a week, and then alternate weekends, which is working fine. I pick them up and drop them at school 3 days a week too. Now I have just found out that she is intending to move an hour away and take the children with her (she is hiding this from me so far) so I have spoken to a solicitor who basically told me that there isn't really much I can do legally. I could take it to court but would all depend on the judge basically and would be a flip of a coin as to whether they stopped her from changing the kids' school.
I find it hard to believe that she can just take my children away and there is nothing I can do to prevent it? Is that the case that mothers are still able to dictate what is best for the children and fathers just have to go with it?
Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated as after speaking to the solicitor I just feel lost.
Hi there
I disagree with the solicitor to some extent... even if she is granted leave to move, the level of contact your children have with you will be observed and arrangements for how contact would work once they move would be put in place.
It also sends a clear message that she must consult you on big decisions, especially such things as their education and health.
Do you have any idea when the move is likely to take place?
The fact that she is keeping it from you, and not discussing what arrangements she is making in respect of accommodation, where they will go to school and how you can manage contact is wrong and would be a point to bring up in court.
The court will also look at things like, moving away from a family support network, for instance does she rely on family to help with child minding, do both sides of the family live locally and how close are the children to them.
Does she have a job to go to? If so, what childcare arrangements are in place? If not, what financial provision does she have to manage in the interim?
What accommodation has been arranged, is it of an equal standard to the home the children are leaving?
Is the reason she is moving is because she’s in a relationship, how do the children feel about that and have they had time to get to know that person before being asked to share their home with him?
How will she facilitate contact between you and the children? Midweek contact might not be appropriate because of the distance, being able to take them to school as they’re used to willl change, how does she see a new schedule of contact working, will she share travel to drop off and pick up, will she agree to a larger share of school holidays with you, to compensate for the loss of weekly contact?
These are all fair questions to ask, and areas the court should want to explore. Your soliton was partly right, it won’t be easy, but to say that it all depends on the judge and it’s like a flip of a coin is just far too simplistic!
If the move is soon, you would need to apply for an emergency Prohibited Steps Order to prevent the move. As the solicitor has said, there are no guarantees of success, but as I said above, at least you will know where they’re going, what school and will have an agreement in place for contact.
If the move isn’t happening soon, your first step would be to attempt mediation first, to try and sort this out.
All the best
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