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Hi,my ex agreed in court over a year ago,for her to have my 2 boys [ 3 and 5 ] during each week and me to have them each weekend.
however most weekdays and weekends i have them, she says she has work commitments plus a new boyfriend. i have them most of the time now,and i am thinking about going back to court to get this sorted for the sake of the boys.of course i want them but could do with something from the court, anyone got any advise. thanks
Hi there 🙂
You might think about trying Mediation first...you could then discuss this and put forward your wish to become the Resident parent as you are more or less fulfilling that role already. If she would be prepared to agree to this, you could I think have this written into a formal agreement, the Mediator would be able to advise you about this. She would then hand over the Child benefits to you which would "legalize" it. whichever parent is in receipt of the child benefit is considered to be the parent with care.
Of course if this wasn't successful then you could apply to court for a Residence Order. There's plenty of information about applying to the court and self representing as solicitors cost the earth! There are some stickys that cover these topics and the can be found at the top of the Legal Eagle section.
hi there thanks for the advice. i have tried speaking to my ex about this,but she is causing too much grief.i was just wondering. if i took her back to court,what would happen. im scared the court will favour her and she will end up with even more days.there is no reason for them to do this other than she is female.but the harsh truth is this does happen. do u think this could happen to me even though the kids have been with me more than her.im desprate for help.
Theres no knowing what might happen, there are too many variables and you just cant second guess the judge on the day....they are all so different in the way they deal with cases. My son has had two different judges and they couldnt have been more different, not only in their approach but in their judgement too.
I cant see the court decreasing your contact, they generally like to maintain the status quo. You might like to think about Shared Residency with defined contact. It might be an idea to take advantage of the free half an hour consultation that some solicitors offer and get some advice that way.
Courts would expect that you and your ex would have attempted to reach agreement through Mediation, if you attend court without having tried this the court might well send you both to court ordered Mediation anyway.
The other thing to consider is the possibility that your ex might deny contact with your children altogether once you initiate court proceedings, there are many women out there that do this.
I'm sorry I cant be more helpful. 🙂
Hi There,
I agree with NJ that if you go to court before you have at least tried to get your ex to attend mediation they are likely to impose this as a condition that you both attend.
My concern would be that by attending mediation your ex would suddenly be available to have the children for the agreed time when she realises she would loose the child support.
I would log (as far back as you are able to) the days and nights that your ex hasn't had the children when she should have done, document this along with all communication back and fourth between you so you have a complete log of activities to show history, this should help if you do end up in court for either residency or at least shared residency.
As NJ says you can't second guess what the judge might rule on the day as each are so different in the approach they take.
GTTS
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