[Solved] Moral and legal, help needed.

Here's my little guide...........

Hey Guy's, I thought I'd write a guide on self representing in Court as when you are barred from your Child your head is absolutely all over the place and you feel like you have nowhere to turn I wish someone could of pointed me in the right direction.

Now I will only tell you about my experience and neither I or my ex had Solicitors (thank the lord)

So first and for most more than likely Mediation has failed you have been issued with your FM1 form from the Mediator which enables you to make an application to court.

You have filled out your C100 form and received your first Court hearing date, this will be called a "Directions Hearing" and that's basically a hearing when the Judge or Magistrates will Direct which way the case will go and make an Order for the next hearing.

Now if there is mention of any abuse towards your ex or your Child, Cafcass will become involved who basically represent the Child and their only concern is for the Child.

You may have received a Telephone call from them which they produced an S2 report for the Court at the Directions hearing and they will be a court Cafcass officer present during the hearing.

So the day has arrived for your first hearing it will seem very daunting indeed but you have to go in there prepared, find out the Address of the Court before hand and make sure you plan your route arrive as early as you can. Take with you money for parking, Food and Coffee.

Make sure you are looking the muts nuts too, Clean shaven, smart suit but a shirt and tie will suffice and what ever you don't do what I did and buy some new shoes and not wear them in, honestly I couldn't walk for 2 weeks after with 6 50p size blisters on my feet! lol

As I said arrive early get the security to tell you where the usher is and they will direct you to where your court hearing will be and what time if they're running late or whatever.

Be nice to absolutely everyone you meet you will be treated with the upper most respect so make sure you return it I can't stress this enough you do not want to be seen in a bad light at all, If your EX is in the waiting room Ignore her completely maybe a nod but thats it as it could kick off and you don't want that.

When you enter the court room you and your ex will sit at the back you will have a court legal adviser or clerk of the court one side then a Cafcass officer the other and in front of you the Judges or Magistrates.

What your body language don't interupt anyone ever you WILL be given your chance to speak when your ex starts unleashing all the lies and false allegations DO NOT REACT in any way don't shake your head nothing remain cool calm and composed at all times.

Thanks for that Mr Slim, i think it will come in quite useful, like i said i have no idea what to do or to expect.

The combo of all these emotions and the meds i'm having to take are making my head want to explode....I just hope that once the parentage is sorted and i'm on the BC that she doesn't make me have to fight just to be with my daughter. Obviously the evidence i submitted was enough for the court to see through her lies for them to put the order in place so fast!
At this moment i'm so glad i had the foresight to backup txt messages and the "email" she sent, i wouldn't have got this without that proof.

The paperwork I've received mentions about it "being in line with cafcass" so i'm assuming they will be involved, maybe because of me mentioning that she may well have already done this to the father of her first daughter, i don't know.

Also about arriving early for possible negotiations to take place....i know it's not for any form of contact, but just maybe they are hoping she will see sense and it won't have to be dragged out.

Hi Hodge

Just to clarify, you don't have an order yet, you have just begun the process and unless the court puts an interim order in place then the order will be granted at the final hearing.

What has happened so far is a formality in as much as you have applied to the court and they have accepted your application and scheduled a first directions hearing, this is usual for all applications and any evidence you may have sent in with your application won't have been considered yet.

CAFCASS are usually involved and they will compile a brief report for the court. They will most likely interview you by telephone and they will contact police and other agencies to check if they hold any records concerning you or your ex, which will be added to the report.

When you applied to the court it sounds like you attached all sorts of "evidence" I would generally advise against this at this stage as copies of whatever you sent will now be in the hands of the other party, which gives them some insight into your case. However as this may already have happened you shouldn't dwell on it but from this point on its important that you stick within the court procedures. At your first hearing the court will instruct you on anything they wish you to prepare, such as statements etc and will give you a date that you must file it by. filing just means that you are lodging documents with the court to be added to your case. Anything you file with the court you must also send a copy to the other party, they are called the respondent.

Anything you are unsure of we can advise you on so p,ease don't hesitate to ask.

Hi Nannyjane thankyou for the reply and the info it's very helpful.

I should just point out that the paperwork and evidence that i included was required as proof that i have a legal right to make the application.
At the moment this is just to get acknowledged as the baby's dad and to get some information, like her birthday and her name.
I know i'm probably going to be in for a longer battle to even see and hold her and believe me, it's tearing me to pieces! But at the moment i just need to know that she is healthy and safe.