[Solved] Molestation Order

Getting representation could prove to be expensive. Its up to you but if supervised visits go well you could self represent yourself but consider dropping the counter allegations you have made. you could do this on grounds if your contact goes to unsupervised and is built up to a good contact order. You could say its best for your child if you put matters behind you and co parent . You done very well at your court hearing and avoided a non molestation order and looks like judge saw straight through her..

If you did decide to go ahead with find a fact with counter allegations i imagine things could become very hostile with ex and if find fact hearing went against her nothing would even happen apart from you having to pay a lot of money for representation. If it went against you unfortunately dads do suffer consequences some from minor to very damaging ones.

It maybe that judge is hoping that contact will run smoothly until next hearing with no issues and contact will progress further without need for a full on find a fact hearing

I agree - if it's going reasonably well at the moment, any counter accusations then becomes a battle between you and your ex, and not seem to be child focussed, which is what the court is really after.

agree with previous posters. it's better to drop counter allegations etc. fact finding stuff is a nuisance and will just bog you down in court for even longer, with nothing to be gained really. judge has been very supportive of you and didn't believe contact needs to be supervised. i think at next hearing you should state that you withdraw your allegations and don't think fact finding is required. you never know, the next hearing could be final one.

you should start to think about what arrangements you want for your child, like fri-sun every other weekend, half of school holidays when child starts school, mid-week contact etc. get this ready for your next hearing. put it in a position statement.

The counter allegations was mainly in response to my ex’s allegations As what she was stating in court is what I actually experienced from my ex and completely the other way around, the judge asked if I would like an injunction against my ex which I said no too and that I was mainly concerned about getting my son back, as for the finding of fact my ex has absolutely 0 evidence to back her statements surely there has to be evidence for a finding of fact? Am I correct? For the position statement would I have to make this before attending court and file to the court via email (all my previous statements have been done via email) and would I be able to do this even though it’s not been requested yet? And yesterday was a really massive relief off my shoulders as both cafcass, and the judge want fixed arrangement for me. As for the position statement ideally I want 50% of my sons life, alternative Christmas and birthdays, and Father’s Day with father and Mother’s Day with mother, just an equal amount I don’t want any more than what she has with him and I don’t want any less, from your guys experience what is the the success rate of fathers getting this? Many thanks for the replies

So my final hearing was yesterday, so from the start, I went with your guy's advice and withdrew the need for a finding of fact, so my ex got her non-molestation order granted... As for the child arrangement for my son the judges tone changed this hearing he basically didn't want to deal with this case anymore it was blatantly obvious I was initially offered from my ex partners barrister. Wednesday-Thursday day time no overnight and alternative weekends Friday 5 pm pickup Sunday morning drop off, the judge liked this idea and pitched it to me and basically, both the barrister and the judge reiterated to me if I don't accept this the next hearing will be in around 6 months time and even when the next hearing comes around I might not get any more time, or I could accept this now and move on with my life and not have to come back to court!

I stated that I wanted more time with my son as I work through the week, thus making the Wednesday and Thursday day time pointless. So by the end of me trying to fight for more time, I ended up getting every Wednesday pickup 5 pm after my son finishes nursery he sleeps at my house then goes home in the morning before I go to work, And I get every other weekend Friday 5 pm pickup - Sunday morning drops off. I also managed to squeeze in alternative Christmas and birthdays all in all even though I am back seeing my son again I am disappointed with the outcome and it is a very bitter pill to swallow, but that's part of life in the eyes of the court to me the mother is always favoured even though she has strong medical evidence brought up in the court of being mentally unstable, I initially tried to fight for shared care (50/50) as I am more than capable of looking after my son and paying for his day nursery and making sure he has everything he needs. This option was just laughed at and just shut down straight away.

hi,

glad its over for you. i find it odd that they didn't let you drop child off on a sunday evening. did you question that? was there any discussion or anything in your order about having child half of school holidays in future?

as your child is just 2, I would advise to hold this arrangement for a year, then when you have a good track record of caring for child, you can ask ex for more time. if she refuses, you could always return to court to vary your order. i ended up returning for 2nd time in just under a year and got more time. ex's trouble making made things easier in court 🙂

Thank you for your reply Bill

I asked what would happen regarding half of the school holidays and the judge returned ''what the child is what 2 years of age?? He's not going to be going to school until what 5? This doesn't need to be discussed now'' whilst laughing.

Thank you for the advice about waiting for a year that's given me hope as to the future, I didn't know how long I would have to wait until i could apply again. But the way the judge put it to me if I waited for another hearing and kept repeating himself that this would be in at least 6 months time, I might still not get accepted for more time as my ex is only willing to give me these days as the court seems to think this is fair. I'm just curious to how I go about building up more time with my son as I feel with the small number of days I current have written in the order I can't really have a great influence on the parenting of my own child? and I'm going to miss out on a lot of his life.

sounds like you got a [censored] of a judge. when i first went through the process, I was asking cafcass about taking my kids abroad on holiday. kids aged just 5 and 2.5 and a newborn at the time. (they were doing s7 report). cafcass were largely on my side, so they recommended that and i had that put into the order. if that judge had good sense, he would have covered school holidays, so you don't end up returning to court in future for it.

don't worry, you will get enough time to bond with your child and build a strong relationship with your new arrangement. give it 12 months, then you can think about asking ex for more time, or returning to court if need be. think long-term. when our kids start entering teen years, a restrictive court order and a controlling mother is not going to hold them back. They will come and see us whenever they want 🙂

Thank you for your replies Bill

Yeah, the Judge was a [censored] in the final hearing the other hearings he seemed more on my side, it just seemed to me he didn't want to deal with this court case any longer. I hope I can still build a strong relationship I and my son already have a strong relationship i was just more concerned about my parenting influence with the small number of days I have, I just feel like I'm going to become a weekend dad, but that being said you've given me hope to try again next year!

hi,

you would be surprised by how much bond a young child can develop with a dad, even if its just 1 day a week or once a fortnight. One of my kids will be 2 next month. For past 4 months, I have only been spending 7 hours with her on a sunday, every 2 weeks. before that it was even less (1 hour every other sunday!). now she is getting to know me as her dad and calls out my name 🙂 her mum did a runner before she was born so I hardly know the child.

your getting midweek overnights every week right? that's very good. first time i went through courts, all I got was fri-sun and 3-4 hours after school on a wednesday every other week, with my 2 other kids.

So after accepting my current schedule and coming more to terms with it and hoping in the long term I can hopefully get more time added in the future, and just glad court was over I came home today to be greeted by a CAFCASS letter for a section 16a risk assessment outlining that my son could be at potential harm due to my mental health problems (records of depression and I tried to take my own life a year before my son was born) and no mental health incidents whilst my son has been born! And a few more where my ex said my son witnessed domestic violence all completely untrue! That I have to attend another court hearing in two weeks time, I was honestly hoping this was all over it’s Been a big mental battle for me and when that final hearing concluded even though it was far from the out come I wanted it was a massive weight lifted off my shoulders and I could look to the future and the long term! My ex has sent my mother a text saying she’s being investigated by social services due to my accusations in court about throwing objects around my son whilst in an argument with me (correct) what should I expect in this next hearing could my son be stripped from me until they decide and could this last months? I’m currently sat down next to my son whilst he’s sleeping writing this and just finished my first weekend of having him For a full weekend and got up too a lot of son/dad adventures it’s been great!

I do have concerns for my sons well-being living in that house I know it’s a very toxic environment for him to grow up in, but I have absolutely 0 evidence as it was all witnessed by my own eyes. I did note in court my ex leaving a sharp blade in the bedroom tucked away in the bedding after she finished self harming with the blade... my ex admitting this in court and turned it around and blamed it on me stating I shouldn’t have left my son alone unsupervised even though it was for maximum 10 seconds! Since the hearing concluded my son runs to me when he sees me and gives me a big hug and and has complete joy on his face, when he has to go and my mum is picking him up (she does transport due to current non mol) he’s heartbroken trying to drag me in the car with him, and when he arrives at my ex partners address he is crying trying to cling on to my mum not wanting to go with his mum which is adding further concerns but I honestly just feel like my concerns arnt heard the family court seems very corrupt, and the judge always favours the mothers as the easier safer option... I mean I have added strong evidence of my ex’s mental health issues and some very concerning allegations and they’ve just been brushed over. Any advise would be greatly appreciated thank you in advance guys!!

hi,

just when you thought it was over! I found another thread about this S16a issue:

https://www.dad.info/forum/legal-eagle/47940-section-16a-childrens-act-help

here is some info from cafcass:

https://www.whatdotheyknow.com/request/228815/response/565897/attach/4/S16A%20Guidance.pdf

courts/cafcass take much tougher stance now. some reforms have been urged by government, about family court cases that involve domestic abuse/violence. Going by that s17a guidance, your court case can be revived and court order could change. It must be very tough. please try to remain.

have you been self-representing up until now?