[Solved] Molestation Order

I would not be accepting any non molestation order as that would make it really difficult seeing your son. It is best not to raise any allegations about ex or run her down as this wont help your cause in the family courts. Its best you focus fully on seeing your son and get some contact at next hearing.
She has said you are a good dad and not trying to prevent access . What is meant to happen on 9th of July is ex meant to provide evidence so a non molestation order gets served . I am hoping the small not so serious allegations aren't too bad which you admitted too.

Whats important now is how often can you see your son taking into account work commitments. When are you available to have your son .
Also whilst things are heated you could meet at a neutral location to do handovers or use a third party temporarily.

Hi thank you for your reply, yes the two small allegations I admitted to are minor not physically or mentally abusive. I am not a threat to my ex and I'm actually in more danger than she is as I'm receiving threats from people who live within her household, do you've any advice on what to say on my next hearing? As I'm hearing a cross-undertaking isn't the best option due to the fact that my ex is in no danger or there isn't any evidence of a previous physical assault.
Also with this non-molestation order being contested, what are my options to get access to my son if a 3rd party isn't an option, I was thinking until my next court hearing (next week) seeing the outcome and if the non-molestation order isn't granted then going through mediation as a cheaper option, but if by some chance the court grants the non-molestation order is granted where do I stand in terms of going through the courts for my son. Many thanks

for access to son, book call with family mediator. they would need to give permission for you to apply to court. you then fill in a c100 form. can be done online.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/form-c100-application-under-the-children-act-1989-for-a-child-arrangements-prohibited-steps-specific-issue-section-8-order-or-to-vary-or-discharge

Hi just tried the 3rd party option and asked my mum to contact my ex to ask could they work days and times that my mum can pick up my son, the ex replied 'I've been told its supervised visits. Not 3rd party, i have no control over the visitation rights. K has been told he can fast track seeing T through the courts and that's all i know' i have not been informed of any of this through the court in the first hearing or any notice since the hearing, my mum didn't respond and got a second text stating ''Ive just spoke to my solicitor. They're not dealing with the child access part. If
he wants access to visitation he needs to file another court application as he's a flight risk of not handing T back over to me supervised visits will be arranged through court but he has to apply for them''. Any advice? I have not been notified of any of this

sound like she being an a$$. so you should get ball rolling with mediator and c100 form.

not a good idea to reveal any personal info on here like names. should delete them.

Very much so, and only just realised with the name thanks for the heads up bud I've just contacted the mediator who I previously was in contact with to get the ball rolling. Not entirely sure how to edit my previous post to get rid of the name.

if you see an edit button by your previous post, can click that and delete stuff. if not, if you ask one of the admins, they can delete for you.

Hi,

Just to reiterate some points.

1) don't try to attack or make any points against your ex it won't work, if anything you should go the other way say positive things good mother etc.
2) it's a completely different application as bill said c100 as your ex has applied for a non molestation order you can get an exemption from the mediator
3) this is very important do not contact your ex ,do not go round even if invited , she could twist things and be trying to trick you.
4) always stay child focused.
5) due to covid I would think that all contact centres are shut, therefore ask the judge for supervised by your mum, but the molestation hearing is not for child contact.
6) they may ask you to take an undertaking in doing this you accept no guilt but cannot contact her. Some people on here have had bad experiences of this but, if you have no lawyer while she does and are not confident in court an undertaking is by far the better option than an official order.
7) ask on here for help bill is always available lol

Good luck and most importantly do not contact her

Thank you for the responses, i really appreciate the help!

As for the attack or make points against your ex unfortunately i defended my self by denying her allegations and making my own as i was subjected to physical and mental abuse just to get my point across, i do agree i should've just denied the allegations just emotions run high when you've been mentally abused for years and now you're being made out to be the abuser.

I'm going to wait until the outcome of court next week if the non-molestation order gets revoked then proceed with a mediator as a cheaper solution if not then i will file the c100 immediately after the court hearing, as for the contacting my ex i honestly dont want anything to do with her full stop,after years of trying to give her the benefit of the doubt this was the final straw, the undertaking option I've had a look into other people experiences also and it doesn't look like any good comes of it although i know you can accept this on an basis that i do not accept the allegations i do not see why i should promise to the court, when i am completely innocent and the allegations are completely false, there is 0 evidence provided by my ex and I've attached as much evidence as i possibly can to show the nature of my ex which if I'm honestly hardly even got looked at by the judge, I'm just going to keep defending my self even though its not the easiest representing my self, i haven't seen my son now for just under 2 months and its killing me i am very child focussed to be honest if it was just an ex girlfriend and i didn't have a child with her, i would just accept the non molestation order knowing i wouldn't break it because I'm not a threat and move on with my life, but because my child is in the middle of this i cant just sit there and let this slide, its a shame a few of her allegations quoted that i was sending her emails saying i would kill my self if she didn't move into my house, I've suffered with bad depression for years but have never said anything of this sought to my ex, so i requested that evidence is provided to the court and perjury is investigated the judge just overlooked this and carried on, lets just hope there is justice in this cruel world.

Thanks for all the replies again guys I'm very a young father and never imagined id have to go through this throughout my life nevermind at the age i am.

hi,

your previous message mentioned that ex stated that if you want child contact, you have to make a court application. so i would not wait around for outcome of the non-mol hearing. you should apply for c100 now. you may have to wait around 2 months or so to get first hearing, so better to start early.

So I attended my hearing today which was an FHDRA, I have had two previous hearings since I previously posted with the matter kept getting adjourned due to me continuing to contest the non-molestation order, the judge in the previous hearing asked my position in regards to my son I said i want to file child arrangement which the judge kindly filed this for me helping me avoid the fees to do so, so within this hearing after the judge read my ex statements and said they're 'very wishy-washy and vague' he then read my country allegations and said that he cannot make a decision just based on my ex statements when my country allegations are so serious, so he deemed that a finding of fact needs to be made and a trial at the next hearing whereas he suggested i get legal aid for a lawyer as I've made my own statements of domestic violence against my ex and concerns for my son. he said this will take place in the next available date after 14 days, so after that was out the way the judge asked my exs barrister if he knew her position on me seeing my son, she then said to the judge the following ''I want him to have supervised visits with an association at present as he does not his son now and his son no longer knows him, also he gets into my head and I don't want him to do the same to my son'' I'm not going to play it down that hurt to hear your sons mother say that about me but I held it together and the judge said to my ex ''I do not take that as a valid excuse for a father to not see his son, he is a two and a half year old boy and has only not seen his dad for 3 months'' i then asked the judge could he grant me any time with my son since i have not seen him for a large period of time with 0 contact, he then told my ex that i can see my son 3 hours a week supervised by a family member or friend of her choice in my mothers address for only two visits then it will no longer be supervised, my ex tried to disagree with this and the judge repeated him self and asked my ex does she understand. The judge then stated at the next hearing he believes I should be going to a fixed arrangement with my son, and asked the CAFCASS officer in attendance her position on the matter where she kindly stated that she believes i should have a fixed arrangement with my son, the judge then ended the hearing for an hour whilst he had another hearing and gave my ex and her barrister time to work out how I can see my son and who will be the person to supervise for the 2 visits which the judge requested which he did say he was reluctant to even make it supervised as he doesn't believe its required, i shortly got a call from my exs barrister stating my ex-mother can supervise these visits on a day of my choice and that my ex is now happy for this to happen. i then got added back to the conference call with the judge and my ex didn't join so we proceeded without her and said that we came to an agreement of a day and time and i will be seeing my son next week. The judge adjourned the hearing for the next available date after 14 days.

In summary, I believe my ex went into court expecting she had all the say in regards to my son and could dictate to the judge what she wanted. which what from my eyes she did not achieve! I have now been advised to get a lawyer for my next hearing. I just want to hear your guys thoughts many thanks to the future replies. I HOPE it all made sense.