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Well the ex and I have reached an impasse. She claims I'm not paying enough maintenance, so of course, my contact with my son is being used as leverage. I pay what I should going by the CMS calculator, so now it's going through CMS in writing, and the contact will have to be through the legal route, I can't be doing with the constant threats. I have a couple of questions before I get the ball rolling however.
- I realise the most sensible way to go about it is to arrange the appointment at a time and place suitable for us both, but I predict resistance - my previous suggestion of mediation was called a 'threat'. Am I at liberty to book the appointment and just tell her when and where?
- We're in neighbouring London Boroughs, a 20 minute drive will be the most she'd have to do depending on how easy I'm willing to make it for her. I didn't know if however I'm required to go through her Borough for any legal reason.
- I see there's a calculator stickied for legal aid in MIAM, however, it tells me "You may be able to get legal aid for family mediation" without asking me how much I earn or anything related to money. If anyone has a yardstick for what money qualifies for this, I'd appreciate a heads up just so I can budget.
Thank you in advance for your replies.
**EDIT** Thought I'd put this in the Legal Eagle section, it appears not, sorry! If a mod could move, would be great!
Hi there and welcome
I've moved your topic to the Legal Eagle section now.
Firstly, here is a link to the Legal Aid calculator
https://www.gov.uk/check-legal-aid
Secondly, it's probably better to choose a mediator as close to your ex as possible to reduce the number of excuses she can make not to attend. There is no legal stipulation for where mediation takes place.
Once you have contacted the mediators and booked your solo MIAM, the mediators will then contact her to book hers. If she refuses to attend or does attend and you cannot agree, the mediator can stamp a court form that will give you permission to apply.
Good luck
I agree with Yoda, to save problems of non attendance because of distance etc it's always better to choose a mediator closer to the mother. The same with the court if mediation isn't successful....courts have been known to move cases to the court local to the mother, which just delays things.
Not only does it save non attendance, it also gives you the opportunity to hint that you are being as helpful to the process as possible.
Thanks to you all for the responses.
National Family Mediation advised me that they contact the respondant by post, respondant then have the opportunity then to arrange something close to them for the initial meeting.
When it goes for actual mediation, they lean toward a location closer to the childs place of residence, which again, she will have the option of choosing.
Again though, I'd like to point out that the calculator seems a little broken - steps, for me at least, go as follows > Start Now > Family > Disputes over children > You're in a dispute with your ex-partner over children > Family mediation > No = You may be able to get legal aid for family mediation. Only option from there is to search for a mediator close to me. I realise this isn't the dad.info's calculator, but thought it worth mentioning since it's stickied.
Hmm, I went in to the legal aid calculator (so different steps) and got the same as you. If, instead, I say that mediation has started, then it takes me further. so that might be worth trying.
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