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Hi there,
I last posted asking for advice on mediation and need further advice since mediation took place.
My husband has a 2 year old child with a woman who he briefly knew and has just attended mediation for the first session, the session took 4 months to arrange with the Mother because she is so busy. My Husband has only managed to get the Mother to agree to two 2 hour visits this month.
First of all the Mother requested for the visit to take place at a contact centre aimed at parents being supervised my Husband refused on the grounds that there are no child safety issues and it is a waste of decent resources.
The Mother conceded the above and agreed to a morning visit at a play centre but since has changed it to the afternoon as the child has a hospital appointment for a check up after the Child having an operation in hospital - which we didn't know about.
My personal opinion - I am disgusted in the Mother, she stopped contact because we got married, until this time my husband had regular days with his child up to 3 days a week including overnight stays - to nothing, she has kept important medical information from my Husband and has delayed contact and resolution for nearly 5 months with no conscience for the effect it will have on the child.
I personally think that we should proceed with court action (although slow moving up to 5 months ) I am happy that it will be resolved fairly and any agreement will be substantiated by a judge.
Mediation were all about "moving forward" and having trust with each other, but how can you trust someone who for no good reason stopped contact altogether and went AWOL.
I think not informing my Husband of a serious operation shows a lack of respect and disregard for my husband as the child's father.
Although I appear angry I just want what is best for the child, he is damaged by this, from his point of view its seems his Dad has just abandoned him when that is simply not the case.
I think most cases are resolved through Mediation and it is a positive step but in our case it all seems futile, the Mother is a law unto herself and simply buts her own emotional needs before her child's happiness.
A solicitor is happy to proceed with court now, are we right to go ahead while the child is still young enough to heal?
your input is appreciated
Thanks
Kate x
Thank you for your response basszebra, it is appreciated!
My husband does have PR
it is so wrong that in 2013 Fathers do not have equal rights over their children, who is to say that Mothers are better parents? I think its all diabolical and unjust. Being a woman I think I can say that no human being is a perfect parent,
I thought that court would impower us to fight a good cause and to be on the right side of the Law? if a Parent chooses to disobey a court order, I thought that was contempt of court and you could be imprisioned for disobeying such an order repeatedly, is it different in family law?
I also thought that Contact centres were for support/supervised visits where parents needs support or the child is at risk? what a waste of resources that is, these centres rely on public funding, to know that Mothers can request this with no good reason is disgraceful. A waste of a good resource.
Our solictor is unique, amazing, passionate and has been great with us she said she will fight to get us fair/proper contact ASAP as there are no real reasons why the contact stopped.
I am sorry to hear you are still fighting 6 months on, I do hope you get sorted.
thank you for the advice
Kate x
haha she is quite "well off" will probably be represented by a barrister but I have faith in our solicitor she is passionate about what she does she's like a rare diamond really.. non nonsense and hardy..
Something needs to change apparently the Queen and Tories said that from April 2012 the law would be tightened towards fathers that the rule will become "fathers matter" and all children have the "right" to 2 parents? where this plight went is beyond me? Something needs to change, because it is apparently ok to make false accusations against fathers, its ok to stop contact for months and months.
What happened to ever child matters? its scientifically proven that child flourish with 2 parents...
it is all beyond me.
We will fight on though for the child's sake we won't give up on him.
I just hope we get justice in the end.
Please keep in touch and let me know how you get on
i'll be routing for you!
Kate x
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