[Solved] Mediation Imminent..

Already thought of another!

The above link mentions a Bible, gathering things that could be relevant during any questions, pictures etc. Would text messages be acceptable evidence? How should I go about this, screenshots or just text for me to reference to?

Hi CJH,

The MIAM isn't going to be a "mediated" session. From my experience - and I stand to be corrected - the MIAM is purely there to see the issues that are preventing contact from occurring and (most importantly) if Mediation will be a suitable course to take.

You are of course, if Mediation turns successful entitled to take the case to Court. A lot of people don't now but this has thrown up quite a few issues I am led to understand as Mediation can be broken/agreements break down and there is little (if anything can be done). If the parent is entrenched in their position that Contact will be blocked, even Contact Orders are not sufficient sadly. In my opinion, any agreement reached in Mediation should where there is/are ongoing hostilities be taken to Court in order that if has recognition.

To answer your other points:
1) Mediation would be to look at the Contact (most other areas will wrongly be brushed aside here and likely Court too) - actd may provide the best ideals when dealing with the Kidney issue for Alcohol
2) Your raising Mental Health would have to be raised against the probability that it could be a risk to your child, if so its worth discussing this and if Mediation proceeds, this needs documenting somewhere. It can be raised at Court if you think it relevant
3) Text messages are some of the things that you could include as evidence, you should where possible use these as screenshots as they become instantly more reliable than writing what was said. They can also be then put forward for any such Court action should they necessitate use

Hi Yoji,

Thanks for the reply and thanks for writing that guide (think I'll be leaning on that quite heavily!)

I realise I can put in for the possibility of substance abuse with the C1A form alongside the C100, but as I say, little concrete evidence and I wouldn't want to go through that only for it to turn out to be something other than alcohol related.

Since you wrote that guide, I'll assume you've got personal experience of it. Did you have the opportunity to level any concerns in the courtroom?

Hi CJH

Yoji has given you sound advice.

The MIAM is indeed just a solo information and assessment meeting, your ex will have the opportunity to attend the same before joint sessions would commence.

At this stage I wouldn't worry too much about gathering evidence, attend the MIAM and see what happens. If you are left with no other choice than an application to court, things are kept very brief and concise until the first hearing when the court would make a decision how to progress. It would be at this stage they will indicate what you are required to provide in way of statements or evidence.

Good luck

Hi Yoda,

Thanks for the reply.

I understand that the necessity for any evidence is a way away, but I want to be ready. I don't want to be stressing about what I do or do not have as evidence and end up leaving things out and being unsure about what I should or shouldn't do because of time constraints or because I'm flustered. I know my ex, I know she won't like the idea of mediation - FIGHT ME, YOU WON'T WIN - sooner or later, this is going to end up in a court room.

My primary source of evidence in most of the issues that have come about are in text messages, her actions and words, issues she's had with me and my care of our son, point blank refusal of contact or to keep up with the arrangements that have been in place for years. I have around 18 months of history of this, and I would have hate to have sat there re-typing it all thinking screenshots wouldn't suffice, but as Yoji advised, screenshots are instantly more reliable, so I'm going to need to go through, screenshot and print all the instances and even go as far as categorising them. It's things like this I need to know and be prepared for. "Belt AND Braces", as a wise man has taught me.

When and if you reach the stage of needing to provide evidence or full statements it will stand you in good stead to have these printed off in chronological order. You can, at an early stage, refer to these text messages in a position statement if necessary to prove the denial of contact. Even with a full statement when you are attaching evidence you would only need to attach a few relevant ones. They would only be required in full if you reach a fully contested final hearing requiring a bundle of evidence which you may need to rely on for the hearing.

Good luck and let us know how you get on

Thought I'd update this, went for my MIAM yesterday - as predicted, ex didn't turn up. Went quite well I felt, got a good idea of what will happen should we end up going that route.

The lady was quite open and helpful. Went through the whole process with me, spent a full hour in the discussing the sort of issues that have occurred and why I felt mediation was necessary. Understood my fears and assured me I was on the right path given my situation.

She contacted National Family Mediation for some info. Confirmed that they had emailed my ex on the 22nd to get her to contact them to either attend the MIAM with me or schedule her own, confirmed that she had not done either. Marked on the case notes that I had requested they send her a written follow up - emails can mysteriously go into the Junk folder, and phone calls and texts can be unanswered or not received, but a letter through the letterbox can't be ignored.

She's got until the end of the 6th October to arrange something, or they sign off the relevant page on my C100 and it's off to court we go.

Also gave me a bit of encouragement on the prohibited steps front.

Ex has threatened to move "up north", and I'd always thought that prohibited steps would only really hold any weight on moving overseas. Although she confessed she wasn't a solicitor, she indicated that unless moving to any other part of the country was undeniably beneficial to her - job waiting, circle of friends or family etc - I would be be within my rights and have good reason to lodge one.

It's good to hear the mediator has given you sound information. I suppose all you can do now is wait to see what happens. Let us know if we can assist with anything further.

Hi again guys,

Well, the 6th came and went. I got in touch with NFM today to get an update.

I was told they'd written to her and hadn't received a reply as yet, but that the date she had to reply hadn't yet passed. Slightly confused, I asked when it was as I'd been told it was the 6th. They wouldn't tell me the date but said "it isn't long".

Does anyone know how they word written letters to the party invited to mediation? Is it made clear what happens if they don't attend?

The letters I have seen from mediators are non-confrontational and simply an invitation to attend.

Once the date has passed, you can get the form stamped and apply to court.