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Apologies if this is the wrong place - first time so please move if necessary
I have my 11 year old living with me and partner for the last 2 months - after several years of putting up with hearing stories of my ex taking drugs, neglecting our child (and 2 other she had from new partner) . Neglect in that they had no electric . gas food - hiding from scary people at the door - she is several years behind in education and is often away from school or turns up late. My ex didnt attend many necessary medical appointments either.
I was having her at least twice a week and often more as my ex would sometimes not be there when I went to take her back and sometimes went missing for days or weeks at a time.
Anyway in December she disappeared again and I decided that was the final straw and contacted social services. They said as we have joint PR she could stay with me but I would need to try mediation to try and work out a way forward. She wants to stay with me and is attending a new school and doing well .
I have offered her mother (and other members of the family) to come to see her but cant let her go to them on her own yet as I know they wont bring her back and also she really doesnt want to go to her mothers at all (she would go to the grandmothers but Im sure she wouldnt bring her back either)
I have attended mediation - on a low income it was quite hard to afford- but they say my ex has not responded to any letters or phone calls so dont know what to do now. Do I actually need to go to court to get an arrangements order or should I just wait and see if her mother does apply?
At the moment she is happy with me but Im concerned that she hasnt seen her mother or family for weeks now as they wont come to my house and want to see her at their house or nothing. My daughter doesnt want to go and even if I made her I know they wouldn't let her come back They has also waited outside the school and my home a few times so am concerned what they are planing to do .
If she wont attend mediation do I need to arrange to go to court or should I just wait?
Hi there
It would be advisable to get a court order in place to protect your daughter from being removed from your care.
You have two options, you can apply for an order normally, or if you feel that there is an imminent risk of her being taken, you can apply for an emergency order.
If you were applying for an emergency order you would apply for an urgent Prohibited Steps Order to prevent her from being taken and a Child Arrangements Order for residence.
You would apply for the same orders whether you were applying for them as an emergency or not.
If you are applying normally you must ask the mediator to sign the C100 form to tell the court that you have attempted mediation first. If you applying as an emergency you do not have to ask the mediator to sign the form first.
To apply for these orders you would need to pay a court fee of £215 but if you are on a low income you may be able to claim a part or full exemption from the charge. To do that you would also need to submit form EX160a.
Best of luck
Thanks for the advice - so can I apply directly to the court (I wont go for the emergency one) and do I have to go back to mediation and pay another fee to get them to sign the form to say I have attended?
Also, is there a certain amount of time they have to wait or keep trying to contact the mother before they will sign the form to say there has been no response?
Thanks again - sorry for all the extra questions
You will need the mediator to sign the C100 form and there's usually a charge for this, but try negotiating with them. If you are on a low income did the mediator talk to you about entitlement to legal aid, which is still available for mediation.
If the mother hasn't responded they usually give it a couple of weeks or so, talk to the mediator about your fears and the fact that your daughter is distressed about going back and they should sign it without furhter delay.
Please feel free to ask as many questions as you need, we are happy to help where we can. If you need further advice filling in the form just come back to us, it's probably better to post in the Legal Eagle section as this area is really just for new members to say hi.
Thanks - do you want to move this thread there now?
Also - if she doesn't communicate with the court either will that mean the order will be granted in my favour ? I was hoping to have an arrangement order where she could go to her grandmother at weekends but if neither of them will communicate with mediation or courts I guess they cant agree that ?
If you apply for an urgent order, she wouldn't be notified of that first hearing but would be for the subsequent ones.
In the instance of non attendance at a first (non urgent) hearing, it's likely the court would adjourn the hearing. Should she decide to ignore court hearings repetitively the court will likely make an order in her absence. It will be up to the individual judge to decide a way forward.
Good luck
Quick update - the last week has seen 3 attempts from the mother to take daughter out of school . As we both still have PR the school cant actually stop her but my daughter was extremely upset and refused to go so head wouldnt force her. Anyway this has pushed me into thinking I need to now apply for an Urgent Prohibited Steps order which I have selected when I filled in the C100 and also requesting for the Child Arrangements order at he same time. Do I just send this directly to the court along with the cheque and sit back and wait to hear a date ? Do I need to do a position statement and send it in at the same time ? Although I am asking for an urgent order I will need some notice to be able to take time off work (assuming I will have to attend?) and also as the court is about an hour away it will need to be done by 2pm so I have time to get back to collect my daughter from school. Will the courts take all this into account if I send a letter with the forms? ?
Thanks again for any advice
I wouldn't expect the courts to work to a deadline because you have to get back to pick up your daughter, and often cases overrun, so it's out of their control anyway. I'd have a word with the school and explain the situation - they may be happy to keep her in school late with a teacher under the circumstances, or suggest someone you can use to childmind for the day.
I wouldn't ask the court to work to a deadline, it's not their concern what time you leave by. Generally with an urgent app it's better to take the forms in person and wait.
It's worth preparing yourself a short position statement to take with you to the hearing, just write down a bit of background, why you're making the application and what you would like the court to do.
Pm me or one of the other mods if you need help with that.
Good luck
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