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At mediation, are the mediators likely to tell my ex partner that should the " arrangement " (Should there even be one!) be broken that I as a father am within my right to go to the next stage, court? I believe that it would take someone in higher authority than me to make her believe that I can actually (and will) go that route if needed.
you should just go down the court route, if she is trying to dictate to when and where you see your child and who presents the child to you, ive a feeling shes not going to change her mind any time soon. even if she did agree to contact and promised not to mess you about again can you really trust her word. (her word thaty has already been broken) you have nothing to loose and everything to gain
My son and his ex were told that what was agreed in mediation was only a guideline and not law binding. She agreed to things in principal in mediation and as soon as they got out of the office, he received a text telling him that nothing was going to happen. Once she had broken what they had agreed, he felt that there was no other route but court if she wasn't going to do anything.
You can use what is agreed in mediation to be written into a court order.
As I believe anyway.
Regards,
Dave
Hi There,
As has been said you can go straight to court however I would recomend try mediation first, I agree it isn't legally binding, anything agreed in court is only classed as "without predudice" so it could be broken by either of you with no implications. you can have it written into a legal order by a solicitor or judge through court though.
If you do skip mediation there is a risk the judge will just order you to go anyway as they like to at least try to promote a mutual agreement through mediation before they intervien. If you go through mediation you may come out of it with an agreement that suits you both and has a little more flexibility than a court order, saving you time and money. If it doesn't work then you can still go to court and it shows you have tried on your own before taking the route to court which will help speed things up.
GTTS
Hi All,
thanks for the replies. (all taken on board)
My burning question is though, can the mediator tell my ex that if an arrangement is made and broken by her that I am within my right to then start court proceedings?
Hi There,
Sorry I forgot to answer that part :}
The answer is yes, the mediator can tell her that the thing is that each mediator is different and they may not actually tell her.
You could prompt it though by stating that it is within your rights to take her to court, the mediator would then be put in a possition that they would need to coment if your ex dissagreed with your comments, you could ask the mediator to confirm what you have said.
GTTS
You can tell the mediator to pass on that you are within your rights and would be prepared to do it.
At the end of the mediation session they will write up what you have agreed to so given the amount of stress that you ex's mother is causing you, you could ask your ex to agree to speak to her so that she behaves during handover and does not denigrate you.
This way you can bring it up if she does and its further evidence if you do go to court. If you ever need it.
Dave