[Solved] Mediation

Hi.

Has your ex agrees to go to mediation ? If she declines then they will stamp your form and you will go ahead with court proceedings.

I think if you feel mediation is not working for you then you can just ask to proceed with proceedings but they will say you have attended. My ex refused to go and the courts didn't even seem bothered at all and think that is quite common.

My personal advice would be to try sort out your issues in mediation if possible because you still have to pay for a court application and if using Solitors and barristers the cost of mediation sessions would be nothing compared to the ongoing legal ones.

Good luck.

Hello thanks for the reply I've just posed the mediation letters and awaiting but shes stubborn and properly would not agree to anything sensible so would not work out I decided to represent myself at court. Did u go to court and how did it go

My ex is very stubborn and been a right cow throughout with numerous false allegations. This seems very common for people going through the process.

My ex refused mediation so I got my first hearing 9 weeks later. That didn't go to great because of all the [censored] she said about me but the court will always seem to take caution and I was given supervised visits until I cleared the allegations by doing what the court asked for and second hearing set for 3 months later.

Second hearing come around and It went much better as I done what the courts asked but my ex still disagreed with what I was asking for so a final hearing was listed for six months later but I was however given everyother sat/sun daytime and a weeknight for few hours.

Final hearing approaching soon and I'm feeling quite confident with the outcome. It's very tough at the start and can certainly test a man but patients is required and it does get easier with time and many men get the outcome they was looking for.

Thankyou for the reply and we'll done you seem to be going very well I would be happy with supervised to start with as I really miss her and it's been over a year now.

I hope your case ends well and you get what you deserve keep me updated if you can please

If it's been a year without contact then my guess would be that a progressive build up would be suggested by the Courts unless something could be agreed by both parties.

I see my boy nearly everyday before contact was ceased by mother and they said because of his age (2) and the time not spent with each other (3months) that id have to build up our relationship which is rubbish really as I never lost it but that's just how it went but never less if you get offerered supervised then you just have to look at the bigger picture and make your time spent with your child quality time.

The good thing is it will keep moving forward if you tick the boxes the courts wants and it's just a matter of patients that does pay off. I was in despair when my ordeal started but now I'm very happy with the way things are progressing and the end is insight.

Hi There,
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I would saay as above try and work things out through mediation before you go to court, if you are able to get things sorted without going through court then it would be a lot less stressful.
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If you have to go through court going through it on your own is very possible, it isn't as scary as you would think, the judges are quite used to self representing.
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Good luck and ask us any thing you need to know.
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GTTS

Just wanted to reinforce the idea that if your ex is willing to do mediation, take it.

Court will be a lot harder than you might think.

Thanks for all your reply I've done court before for a bigger complex matter care proceedings went on stand ect proved innocence and got daughter back with no findings ect no orders just given back (with my youngest new partner) so I'm not bothered about court ideally I'd rather sort something outside of court then get it stamped and put in place but she is very nasty so Itll be on her demands ect I applied for mediation not her I wish it was straight forward but shes pretty toxic in with all my family ect and I don't speak to anyone

Hello update my ex accepted mediation she gets it free I.dont but I get first session free just some.advice what's best to do in mediation what happens and how should I act I'm new to all this it's the first time we've spoke in 4 years so how should it go ect what happens and if I.cant afford anymore or if I think it's going nowhere what do I do. Thanks

Hi there

Try to go into the session with an open mind, but do have some suggestions ready for how contact might start and how you would like it to progress. Sometimes it's a good idea to ask for more than you would actually be ok with, this gives you some room to manoeuvre and be seen to compromise, without actually losing out too much.

If mediation isn't working, you can speak to the mediator and ask them to sign off the C100form to enable you to make an application to court, there may be an additional charge for this also.

Whilst you should both work together to try and reach agreement and compromise should be a two way street, if you feel you are being asked to agree to anything you aren't happy with, you can also ask for it to go to court.

All the best

OK thats great thankyou I have a proposal of how I would like it to build up wrote up but if she's stubborn and basically brings up irrelevant information do I just calmly reply let's focus on our daughter ect ino she will.just waste time and I'm very sure she will not agree anything reasonable if I can get her to agree to any contact via family ect in the meantime would that be better if I proceed with court she will.just go on about our previous case but I spoke to the sw and legal team who said legally she shouldn't be told anymore then there's no safeguarding as u can't have none with our youngest and some with oldest so would you suggest I calmly reply this.

Sorry I'm just trying to.prepare a calm arrangement with her as I doubt I could afford many sessions as she gets it free