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Hi there.
I was more looking to seek different perspectives on a new problem I have.
Basically, me, my estranged wife and our two daughters are in Week 3 of an Interim Court Order covering a Child Arrangement plan as I took my wife to court for contact with the girls. This is an over-simplification (details on request!) but my wife didn't have any problem with me seeing the girls or them staying with me, it was just always going to be on her terms and with her exercising a veto, not sustainable or healthy.
At Court the Cafcass Officer basically said that there should be a 50:50 split and we thrashed out an agreement where in school term-time at least I would now have the girls staying with me for seven nights in a two week alternating rota. Back to court in April for a Final Hearing.
My wife has since said that this is 'too much' time to spend with me and that she would be 'contesting' this at the next Hearing. More pertinently, since she said this she has started (I think) pushing the boundaries of the Interim Court Order by dropping the girls off late, making me negotiate or persuade, telling me that they don't want to come to me that night, even taking one of the girls out of school to go to the GP for (I think) trivial reasons so that she won't be there for me to pick up and I have to negotiate with her to see my daughter.
It's only happened twice so far, but from her previous behaviour it is very easy to draw conclusions. My partner says that she is clearly testing me and the Court Order and that I should definitely raise this in court at the next Hearing as her not complying with the plan. Also I should look at what recourse I should take now to see what the Court can do to look at this now.
But I'm unsure what stance to take. The deviations from the legal document are fairly minor, a matter of a hour or two so I could be over-reacting or seen to be controlling or aggressive? And my wife has made all the right noises, she has been saying things that nominally encourage the girls to be with me, etc, told them that they should be with me. At a first glance her behaviour is not unreasonable, but I'm seeing it from a certain perspective.
Just to provide some context for the above, my wife is quite controlling and has shown consistent alienation behaviour with the girls - telling me that I lack basic parenting skills/common sense, the girls that they should only stay with her if they feel poorly, telling the girls that I don't want to be with them and I want to do stuff without them during periods that we have both agreed that they stay with her, that she has been the 'sole parent' since our separation despite the girls staying with me for 2-3 nights a week for two+ years
Just wondering what other people think?
Chris
I would tend to suggest that you let it go, as courts like to see some flexibility between parents, and by your own admission the breaches are fairly minor.
It's worth keeping an eye on, if she is contesting it at the next hearing, it might not end up being a final hearing. I'm assuming that CAFCASS are no longer involved? Otherwise you could speak to them... You could prepare a brief position statement to take with you to the next hearing, to update the court on any developments, the lapse could be mentioned, but you could temper that with stating that you appreciate that flexibility is an important part of being able to co parent effectively, especially when there is a shared care arrangement, such as in your case.
Makes sense, thank you.
I did mean to get across that the breaches could be SEEN to be fairly minor. however I see them as a definite attempt to change the terms of the order, to test me and then argue that I accepted these changes later on.
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