Looking for fixed fee

hi,

hope your well. In the past I found a barrister from the official direct access portal. Hired one on a fixed fee basis. you can search based on your post code:

https://www.directaccessportal.co.uk/search/1/barrister

if you don't mind telling, when was last time you were in court, and how are your current arrangements running?

@bill337 

Thank you for getting back to me. It would be a relief to get my case of my chest. 

The last time I was in court may of been 2018, of the top of my head. I feel the current arrangements are bit old now? I feel like perhaps it needs to be refreshed. My ex is delivering just enough of her end of the bargain to keep the judge happy? I am accused of not putting my sons needs first when I try to ask for more time with him. It's sort of flipped to make me look a little narcissistic. That's quite painful. We are moving forward at my ex pace and my son pretty vocal asking for more but my ex is drip feeding us our desires a bit at a time over a great deal if time. 

how old is your son and what arrangements do you have currently?

@bill337 

My son will be 10 soon. 

It was ordered that we communicate indirectly. I hadn't seen him for neay 6 years but also that there was 3 steps to take before direct contact. Like some kind of caveat? 

Mum had to do councillors  

I had to do Autism Test

S. had to go CAHMS

It took several years for the steps to be completed and now since November we have been to the contact centre 5 times. 

My argument is that he isn't being acknowledged. He is asking for the park. He is asking for the arcades. He is asking for more time. They are not listening. Actually it's just gone up to 1.5 hours.

I'm concerned that 1.5 hours is all for the next 6 month  then 2 hours for six months. 

We have had half a decade of meaningfull contact. He has done me proud the way he express what he wants and the supervised visit reports reflec that. all outstanding reports. 

I have had a bit of trouble understand how it works. 

The contact centre told me the are guided by what mum says. And mum is guided by what the contact centre says. Untill I had no choice but to complain to the centre so I had it on paper mum is the one controlling the situation 

If you will, drip feeding us a little bit of time together. Perhaps just enough to keep the courts happy? I might be wrong I need some one to tell me. 

That doesn't seem very much but difficult to say without knowing all the background.  It also seems very slow progress if you have to use the contact centre for the next 12 months.  It sounds as though you could do with some professional advice if you haven't had any

hi,

does your court order state that it must be 1.5 hours for 6 months, then 2 hours for 6 months in a contact centre?

@bill337 Hi Bill

Technically the court order doesn't state any direct contact at all. Litriatlly indirect contact.

However the court order includes writing instructions advising how to progress contract which me and Mother agreed to. 

Step one cahms 

step two councillors 

Step three Autism assessment 

Step four direct contact.

Then mother and I agreed to sort out direct contact between our self's with the use of a contact centre.

It's took several years to complete steps 1 2 3, technically mother could of still right now stop direct contact if she wished. However I have completed everything and so as mother and child. 

There would have to be a [censored] of a good reason to not follow the advice on the court order at this stage because all the reports and everything everything come back great. No missed indirect contacts. No kissed anything. 

The trouble I am having now is that many year have passed S. loves spending time with me but mother is insisting that we continue forward a baby steps. We have had years and years at baby steps. My boys wishes and desires are being ignored by mom. 

She is insinuating me of been a unhealthy  selfish narcissist. She accuses of me want to spend more time with Sam and a selfish need and that i should put him first. 

It's not nasty. There is no bad language used. 

The contact centre are saying that are guided by mom. I have that in writing. Mom is saying she is guided by the contact centre. I have it writing. 

To he honest I just put it to her this morning saying if we can make and agreement between our self then we need somebody to do it for us. 

I think I would like to propose a plan to her to be signed by us both and if that goes un acknowledged or we can reason between our self's It's time for court action. 

@bill337 but no bill I wish it did say somthing like 1.5 the 2... but it doesn't anything like that. Its just how mam wants it. But recently I have pressured her into giving me 30 minutes more.its been 6 months and we are finally at 1.5 hours. 

No disrespect to his step farther. I admire and respect  mom met a new fella. I see it as she get more time to be less buzzy. I hope he helps so she has more time to relax there for my gets more quality time with child. 

But he came in to the situation as a complete stranger at a point where Sam and i had sent several years of good quality indirect mail back and forth.

I'm a little insulated by mom. Saying that sam I need more time to bond.

She met him in the November is married already. All I mean by it is that if  a complete stranger can bond because mom will give him the time then surely child deserve a good amount of time too with me. We have had years of building a relationship. Meaningfull amount of mail. 

hi,

I can understand your frustrations. 1 or 2 hours in a contact centre is so restrictive for a 10 year old child. If I did not go to court, I would have likely be stuck with seeing kids only on saturdays for 2 years or more. If there are no safeguarding concerns, then I don't think you should be stuck in a contact centre for such long periods.

Have you thought about self-representing? The first time I went through courts I had a barrister. I returned the 2nd time round, to vary order and ask for more time with kids. I self-represented after learning the process from the first time, and saved a lot on costs. You could make an application to vary your order, for more time with child. you could explain that you have used contact centre for a very long time, have good reports from them, and child is wishing and expressing to spend more time with father, and contact centre is very restrictive. that you are seeking regular unsupervised contact, and to progress to overnight stays at your home.

you would have to attempt mediation before applying to court. can book a MIAM appointment for yourself. I used mediateuk on 2 occasions. you could get in touch with them: https://www.mediateuk.co.uk/online-miam/

@bill337 I think perhaps if I had a check list to walk me through the process I might be able to self represent. Not sure it's the wiser option. It's been a few years since. 

There's a guide to applying for a child arrangements order without a lawyer on the www.advicenow.org.uk website which will take you through it