[Solved] Longer Access and Overnight Stays

Hi There,
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I think at 15 months old there wouldn't be any reason for you not to get longer times with your son or over nights, as you have tried mediation, you shouldn't need to try again before you apply to court, though I'm not 100% certian what the time allowence is, I know if you tried mediation when you split and couldn't agree on things then the judge could ask you to try again before they would make any orders.
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I would expect that a judge may set an order that would increase as time goes on, so maybe longer time with your son, building to overnights to allow for the adjustment period, though that said there is no set rule for what you may be given and as you live in a 2 bed home there isn't any issues with him staying so you may get that sooner.
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Each judge is different and they all have different views, all you can do is apply and go through the hearings and see what happens, but I would espect you to get a lot more that you have now.
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You don't need a solicitor to go through court you can represent yourself throughout.
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GTTS

GTTS has given you good advice. The time limit for an application following the breakdown of mediation is 4 months, the mediator will have to sign off the C100 form that you need to apply with.

Have a good look through the stickies at the top of our Legal Eagle section for tips on self repping. Keep posting and we will do what we can to help.

Good luck

Thank you both for your responses. Mediation took place last week and I will speak to my solicitor today. I'm not very confident with knowing my way around the law so very unsure about representing myself as I don't want to screw it up! I know it will cost me a lot less. I asked my ex partner on Sunday to sort this out between ourselves and she refused. I also asked if she would rather spend money on court fees than on our son and she said she would so there is no reasoning.

What sort of pitfalls are there to avoid when representing yourself?

There's a couple of sticky topics at the top of the legal eagle section on representing yourself - that's a very good place to start. If you are represented by a solicitor, and your ex isn't (or is on legal aid), then a big pitfall with being represented is that she can delay etc and just rack up your bills.

Hi.

I read one of the stickies from a guy who represented himself but i couldn't see the others, probably just me! Do you have a link?

She didn't qualify for legal aid for the mediation so is it the same for court? She did say she has spoken to her solicitor but people say things like that so I don't know if should believe her or not. If she does represent herself and i instruct a solicitor should it not be a walkover? I know it will cost me but I just want to get it right the first time really, the whole process that is.

Thanks

Hi There,
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There are no givens with court, and taking a solicitor with you may not be the best way to go unless there are major complications, which it doesn't sound like there are at the moment.
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I represented myself and had very little family law knowledge at the time, just this forum for support, the idea of going it alone is actually scary, but it's not as bad as you would think, if you really feel like you can't go on your own you could look into McKenzie friend who will be able to support you through court and be in attendance, but wouldn't be able to speak on your behalf, they work out a lot less money, if this is an avenue you would like to explore let us know as other members do have some contacts depending on where you live.
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If you take a solicitor with you, the thing that is lost is your emotional attachment to the case, the solicitor speaks for you while you just sit there unless the judge asks you a direct question, my ex wife took a solicitor with her for the 1st hearing and didn't come out of it very well at all.
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We can offer advice and support throughout.
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GTTS

This is so helpful thank you very much.

Whats the first step to going alone on this? Do I need to contact the courts and arrange a hearing or do i need a solicitor to carry out all the formalities and attend the hearing on my own?

I agree with this, if your son has his own room, I had overnights from 8 months - court ordered I may add

Wow that fills me with alot of hope and confidence!

She keeps beating the same drum "hes too young" and has done since we split up when he was 8 and a half months old. She wont tell me when he will be old enough and as much as i dont want to take the mother of my child to court she leaves me no option. We dont have to worry about divorce or finances as we were never married and we lived with her mum and dad and she still does so it should just be about access am I right? Will they bring anything else in to it like our past (nothing to hide) or will it literally just be about our sons future arrangements?

as previously mentioned though it was staggered for a period of adjustment, like vernight from tea time to noon the next day then this grew a hour each week until 6-6 - then when this happened mother wanted a full weekend - despite saying same thing as your ex originally and wanting monthly overnights

Hi Simon

As previously stated, you need to get a C100 form. This is an application for a Child Arrangement Order, the mediator can sign this off for you up to 4 months from the breakdown of mediation.

Finance and contact are 2 separate issues in court even if you were married or had joint financials. Any hearing you have will focus on moving forward in your son's best interests.

It might be worth having a look at Lucy Reed's book - Court Without A Lawyer.

You can also attend a Families Need Fathers meeting in your area for guidance and support.

https://fnf.org.uk/help-and-support-2/local-branch-meetings

As overwhelming as the court process seems, it would appear your case is very straightforward in terms of a court application and really doesn't warrant the expense of a legal team.

Have another good look through the stickies at the top of the Legal Eagle section, there's a lot of info there. As GTTS says, the other option is a McKenzie Friend and depending where you live, one of our members or mods might be able to recommend someone.

Good luck