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Hi everyone,
I dont even know where to start with this, but perhaps a breakdown of how my first fathers day went will be a good starting point.
Last Sunday, my first fathers day I went to visit my son (me and his mother have split due to mental abuse from her in the relationship, I will elaborate later). She rented an apartment as she moved to England where she is from with our miracle so I went there to see him (apartment here in Glasgow). She was planning on going on a night out that shed apparently told me about, but then also went on to try and get me back, when I declined she retreated and went to go about getting ready and drinking wine for her night out. I was sitting on the couch watching a kids show with him when she pulled a knife out of the holder and walked over to me holding a knife to my chest saying "do you want to see daddy die" and proceeded to try and intimidate me leaving a mark on my chest. I got up and tried to leave, she tried to headlock me and all sorts and I ended up with bruises to show for it.
Escaped the apartment her left on the floor at the door from trying to barricade me in and called the police. She must of done the same as by time I got back to the appartment bit on the phone to the police still police was already there and came down and conducted a search for a missing knife that she had hid. I get arrested but didnt even really know the extent with how nice all the police officers were being, constantly reassuring me and giving me food and stuff. So locked up overnight as was she, interviewed and shed made up things like me slashing her wrists 7 times and banging her head on the wall (she self harmed but at no point did i even notice this, might have been after i dunno). So she made up loads to try and do god knows what to me, all the while im saying i dont want her charged i just want to check the safety of my son as she was also shouting and pretending to be high when she never does drugs. Confusing i know.
So its a week later and just found out she hasnt been charged. I dont have any custody arrangements or anything and barely get to see my son, ive never had him to myself either. I dont know how to proceed and really need some help. Been off work ill for a week from it and just need some clarity or a path to follow. I just want a part custody arrangement for my son. I dont even want full custidy as he loves his mum and why would i do that to him. But where do I go from here?
Please help 🙁
Hi Wyatt,
I hope your doing ok. try and relax during your time off work. i read other cases like this, when one parent is a complete psychopath, and if it goes to court, then court orders that children must go live with the other parent.
you say you don't want full custody. if I was in your shoes i would be very worried about the child. you know your ex. is she capable of harming your child? that knife part is insane. if you want a part custody arrangement, then frankly you would need to make a court application. if you mention that knife incident, then she could get banned from seeing the child possibly.
you can apply to court with a c100 form. if you want arrangements, you can get something like every other weekend. half of school holidays. mid-week visits etc. you can first try to contact your ex and see if shes willing to make an informal arrangment first.
Hi Wyatt,
I am just giving this advice to you as I feel that if you don't go for full custody they will look at you for allowing your son to be around a woman that uses knives to threaten you, I was asked by CAFCASS would I allow my ex to be around my kids if I was awarded full custody and I told them yes, they questioned why I would allow her around my kids if I was telling the truth about her abusing them, and made me feel like I was the child abuser, it is the system that allows her to be around them but I am to blame for anything that goes wrong it seems.
Honestly, go for full custody, and say when she has been given the help she so badly needs, then you will be happy for her to see your son and go from there.
I hope this helps you, good luck.
Hi thanks to both for the replies. Ive only just came out of a few months panic attack to be able to address anything.
I think i will go for part custody, but i dont know how this will be possible when he stays in carlisle with her and me in glasgow. Can part custody also mean the likes of weekend or every other weekend custody or does it mean a 50 50 split?
Hi thanks to both for the replies. Ive only just came out of a few months panic attack to be able to address anything.
I think i will go for part custody, but i dont know how this will be possible when he stays in carlisle with her and me in glasgow. Can part custody also mean the likes of weekend or every other weekend custody or does it mean a 50 50 split?
Hi thanks to both for the replies. Ive only just came out of a few months panic attack to be able to address anything.
I think i will go for part custody, but i dont know how this will be possible when he stays in carlisle with her and me in glasgow. Can part custody also mean the likes of weekend or every other weekend custody or does it mean a 50 50 split?
hi wyatt,
i see that Carlisle to Glasgow is like a 100 mile drive. if you go to court, you can use distance as a big factor to try and get more time to see your child. you wrote in other thread, that the child is 8 months old? if think its very unlikely you can get overnights right now due to childs age, and ex resisting it. is there something else you can think of, like see your child every saturday, spend a few hours with him in carlisle, close by the mother?
about custody, most common is seeing kids every other weekend, a mid-week visit, and half of school holidays etc.i have something like that. all depends on what you ask for. you can go for 50/50 but i heard its difficult to get. if your not in position to do any school runs and you dont have direct contact with ex,, then i think its unlikely you can get 50/50.
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