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Hi I am new to this site and im also in desperate need for some advice if anyone can help me??
As a father to my 7 month old son I played a massive role at the beginning of his life as his mother was unwell due to a difficult birth. I looked after both my son and his mother for the first month.
When she became well and able to look after my son she started to alienate me by stopping me taking my son to visit his grandparents or even a walk to the park at the end of the road. I asked her what was wrong and she kept replying saying she thought I was not going to bring him back. I tried my very best to reassure her that it was never going to happen and that I loved her and my son. I brought this issue up to the health adviser and midwife as I was concerned about her manic thoughts and they advised her to be assessed for post-natal depression, after I showed my concerns with the health adviser and my ex-partner this is when she decided to end our relationship.
I was then told by my ex that I could only see my son at her mums address where she lives, at limited times and this made it very difficult for myself and my whole family as she alienated my son from having any sort of relationship with us unless we were to see him at her mums address only.
I then asked her if we could arrange some sort of contact where I could spend quality time with my son outside of her address to which again she declined I asked why and her reasons kept changing daily. I then asked her if she would consider 50/50 shared contact a time table I had put together and she said no. As we were getting nowhere with my proposal, I kept asking her and I tried another approach with the 50/50 reduced by myself and again I was refused. I continued to ask if my son could spend time with me and because of me asking she then stopped all contact and told me I can only see my son if I took her to court.
I was denied access for 2 months and was only allowed to see him at any GP visits. I then had no other option but to seek a solicitor for legal advice, apply for mediation to which she didn’t turn up to, and then I had to pay mediation to apply to the family court. Whilst in court I found the whole experience to be upsetting and uncomfortable as everything was rushed and I felt I was forced to hurry up with my case. While I was in court I felt Cafcass was more on the side of my ex and the reasons that they gave was because of my son’s age and suggested progressive contact because I had not seen my son for 2 months.
This I found absolutely heart breaking and disgusting as the reason for me not seeing my son for 2 months was not down to me, they didn’t want to know the reasons why I was stopped from seeing my son so I felt that I was not being heard. When I and my ex-partner were discussing my sons contact with Cafcass my ex then out of nowhere made an allegation which is not true. She had no evidence to back up her allegation claiming that my parents are alcoholics. She didn’t want my son being left alone with his beautiful grandparents who are hardworking law abiding citizens who I know would be a fantastic asset to my sons life with or without me by their side, I didn’t like that Cafcass was allowing this allegation to be made. So I spoke to my solicitor in a separate room with my father present about what had been said to which my solicitor said to ignore the allegation if I wanted to see my son immediately, I discussed this with my father and he was obviously shocked and very saddened by this allegation but he said we know that this is not true and told me that it was all ok and he wanted me to see my son so he said to just sign it, I did not know what to do as I to was shocked, reluctant and very upset and pressured into a sudden massive decision on a terms I didn’t want to agree on but with the support of my parents I went ahead with signing the contract agreement.
I have my son:
Week 1 Thursday 11am – 5pm and Saturday12pm to Sunday 12pm
Week 2 Thursday 11am -5pm and Sunday 11am – 5pm
With the condition, my parents are supervised whilst with my son. (she only made this allegation in the hope i wouldnt accept)
I need to go back to court and get more accsess to my son, does anyone have any advice please? we only went to a small court next step will be in front of a judge!
Do anyone have a list of all future holidays that i need to be looking at and organising ready for court?
Do you think me asking for every weekend Friday 1.30pm - Sunday 7pm is realistic or should i worry they will not even give me this?
Im so lost if anyone can help answer my questions you will be making me alot happier in my approach to court!
Thank you!
Hi and welcome to the forum
I've moved your topic to the Legal Eagle section where it should get more views and replies.
As sad as it is, it is great that you now have some contact to build from and should find the next hearing a bit easier. In terms of alternate full weekends, this will depend whether the court can get the mother to agree to that. If she won't agree, there will have to be a final hearing and the court will make the decision. The fact that you have been having contact now, is a good position to go from but unfortunately, it's impossible to predict what an individual court will decide if agreement cannot be reached.
We've had a lot of dads who have had similar situations to yours. Some get full alternate weekends early on, some don't. It's rubbish but if the mother won't agree, you will both be at the mercy of the court's decision.
Keep posting and we will do what we can to support you.
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