Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi guys,
I got a lawyers letter through the post the other day saying that my sons mother had been in touch regarding contact with my son. We've never had a proper formal arrangement in place other than the understanding that I pay for child support and in return I get to see him on an as-and-when basis, which usually means every lunchtime when I'm working (I work 5 minutes from her house) and most evenings after dinner. This arrangement was fine until very recently when she started seeing a new fella. Now back to the letter, it stated that the current as-and-when arrangement is apparently "disruptive to all parties" and it is suggested that I not make contact until a new agreement be arranged.
The advice I need is basically, can a lawyer tell me I cannot see my son and what course of action do I take? Go directly to the lawyer, to my sons mother or to my own lawyer?
It all seems very OTT for something that has been working well for the majority of the time overall.
Anyway, thanks for reading. Any advice/ suggestions would be a great help at the moment
Hi
Only a court can order when you do or don't see your child. As your ex has engaged the services of a solicitor, it would be them that you reply to. I would advise writing back, being very clear that there has been no reason to suspend contact and unless a suitable arrangement can be agreed promptly that you will initiate mediation and take legal action to ensure that contact is restored.
Attempting mediation is mandatory before being allowed to make an application to court and if your letter to the solicitor doesn't get an immediate agreement, it might be worth starting this process up rather than bouncing solicitors letters back and forth which could drag things out for an even longer amount of time.
Keep posting and we will do what we can to help and advise. Very best of luck.
Hi there
If she is in a relationship then I can see why she would want to change the as and when arrangements to something more defined....it could also benefit you as it could mean that you have your child without her always being there and your contact time could extend to having him for longer, to include overnight stays and full weekends.
It might be a good idea to work out a schedule that you could include in the letter to her solicitor, to get the ball rolling. It will depend on the age of your child and the suitability of your accommodation, if you would like to run it past us we would be happy to give our opinion, but don't forget to let us know how old your child is and if he is able to stay over with you. If as Yoda says the solicitor starts delaying an agreement on a schedule, you have the option of mediation and court to sort it out.
All the best
Hi There,
.
I agree with both Mojo and Yoda, I think that if you were to write a letter to her solicitor with a proposed format of contact time and advise you want to discuss this in mediation with your ex it would speed things up, maybe contact a mediator before replying and get some details so that you can get the ball rolling.
.
It's sometimes good when putting a proposal together to ask for more time than you would happily accept so that when discussing you can give a little and show compromise and still maintain a good level of contact.
.
If you need any advice just ask, and if you don't want to post too much detail on this thread, send one of us a private message and we will help.
.
GTTS
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.