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When I got the Cafcass report that sumarised the initial telephone conversation I was not very happy. I have been quoted but out of context so i guess unless I can correct that later it will be a negative indicator against me.
Secondly cafcass have been told something by one of the services they have spoken to and they have quoted it in the report. Basically one weekend I noticed what had been obviously been an fairly angry mark on the little ones neck. As it was clearly healing up I did not take it any further. At the last meeting the school commented on this mark and said that they had contacted the wife who agreed it had happened on her watch (I am only getting weekend contacts) but could not explain how this had happened. With no evidence of my involvement I was not even contacted to be informed this had occurred. So did not know about it until I saw the healing up mark the following weekend. However the school informed social services and they after investigation decided it was not worth following up. I don't have any issue with what has occurred to this point.
In the Cafcass report this mark is discussed and the outcome is described as' both parents have given a reasonable explanation of how it occurred' which is inaccurate at best. I emailed back my concern before the first hearing but this has not been acknowledged in any way.
Neither Cafcass or social services attended the first hearing. I had been informed in the initial conversation that they would but I have now been informed by letter that Cafcass are doing the report themselves and I am awaiting the first meeting.
I am not sure how this is going to work out and am a bit nervous about it. It seems that in the TAC meetings as professionals have finished their work and dropped out the group the tone of meetings seems to have swung against me......... eg complaints about the parents non attendence at meetings are phrased as exactly that............ not seeming to take any notice of the fact I have attended every meeting and it is the wife who has not attended a meeting this year.
I have many photos and mobile phone films of the boys enjoying themselves with me including one shortly after Christmas when the eldest learned to ride his bicycle. I am still working with the younger one on that. A helpful dog walker filmed the eldest's first ride on my mobile (I was running alongside the bicycle he ran along behind) and it captured the eldest delightedly shouting 'I am doing it Daddy' when I was running alongside but not needing to catch him or stabilize him.
As an example of what I am talking about I was informed by the eldest the following weekend that he could already ride his bike before the previous weekend but he reluctantly admitted to needing stabilizers to do it. Seems like he had been got at..............
I am concerned that boys are not getting encouraged or stimulated which is basically what is being said about me. However I genuinely want what is best for the boys and I express delight when the boys do something new whoever teaches them. How can I put this over without point scoring.
Hi there
I think as CAFCASS didn't respond to your concerns, you can respond to the inaccuracies by preparing a brief position statement to take with you to the next hearing. Keep it brief but address each of the points you feel are important to put right.
I wouldn't worry too much, naturally, we are too close to the proceedings and can read too much into the reports that are made. Just keep focused on your aims and what is best for your children. Likewise the pettiness of the ex...you know you taught him to ride and so does he and you have the video to prove it! If he brings things up in that way again, just laugh it off and remind him what fun you had that day.
All the best
The cafcass report I had a few years ago had some inaccuracies, but decided it wasn't worth correcting as the report in general (56 pages of it) was extremely favourable and I didn't want the hearing to descend into arguing about a few minor points, but to deal with the main issues, which is what happened. You need to decide whether the report as a whole is affected too much by a couple of inaccuracies - if it is, then do as suggested above and point it out, but if not, it may not be worth worrying.
In your last paragraph you wrote:
...I am concerned that boys are not getting encouraged or stimulated which is basically what is being said about me. However I genuinely want what is best for the boys and I express delight when the boys do something new whoever teaches them. How can I put this over without point scoring.
...just by talking about what you want for your children in a broader sense, rather than starting from the point that you don't feel they are getting enough attention... don't say that, but say how they would benefit from having both parents fully involved in their lives, that it is their right to feel loved and cherished by you both and what a delight they are to be around; learning new things and growing in confidence so fast. ...that kind of thing, will get your point across in a much more positive way.
All the best
I agree with what's been said. If it is a minor inaccuracy just let it go. Try not to let small things come into play otherwise the hearing will not focus on what it should. In my case my solicitor said we are going to have to stop responding to the cr*p as all it is doing is making the hearing a sideshow and the cr*p the focal point.
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