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When is your next hearing and is it a final hearing?
@yoda My next hearing in a Month and that's the final hearing which was postponed due to the fact she was asked to get the evidence on my son having behavioural issues, as you read above more lies and exaggeration.
I'm also waiting for CAFCAS to do a section 7 report and then got another hearing in October for the finding on that. Very worried about CAFCAS as I always read horror bias stories on them online. Even for the next hearing i have pointed our tons of stuff she has lied about. However it just seems she's free to lie and delay me seeing my children.
Also worried about what she will get my 6 year old son to say to CAFCAS as she is very manipulative.
Just hoping and praying for the best at the moment.
@jabilm60 Fingers crossed your right they will always take the other side with children involved.
Anything like my x they will say anything that your x has said to them mine were got to and I chose not to go through the fact finding would have cost me thousands as she was able to get legal Aid lied through out Judge did not even read c100 only interest what she had to say, etc
At the end it’s a waiting game for me but at present she has dug a hole that’s she is unable to get out unless she owns up hence the longer it goes on the worse it will get at the end it will end back in court then I will have my say!
stay positive
@bill337 @yoda @Daddyup @craigmcd @everyone just to add... I looked into CAFCASS parenting plan however it seems like its only based on things which both parents can agree on etc... where she is not willing to agree on anything and only thing she wants in indirect contact which I am on now. So not sure if I can still do as seems like most of its based on joint agreement.
Also been reading up that sometimes CAFCAS section 7 reports people to go on the DAPP (Domestic Abuse Perpetrator Programmes) programme. She was seen as lying to everything by the judge but the judge wrote on the report that a small bruise on the her hand could of been caused by me, although I know it wasn't.
I'm worried because of that and her other lies CAFCAS might ask me to do the DAAP, which looks to have a 12 months wait to join due to covid and a further 12 months to do the course. Its been 14 months already I have no direct contact with my kids and not seen them. This could go into years if this continues and is exactly what she wants. Very stressed,
Sorry to everyone for writing these long messages, any comments welcomed.
Hi
The general advice is to prepare for the long process but hope that it's quicker. Unfortunately Covid has also added to the delays.
I wouldn't worry too much about a judge saying might, its not a finding of fact and CAFCASS should look at the situation as a whole.
Re the parenting plan, it is best to complete as much as possible from your point of view so that it shows you are child focused and gives CAFCASS something to start with eg they can then ask ex her views on the various aspect. So under education you could put in that the kids to remain in current school, that you will engage with the school separetly and ensure that there is consistency by doing what teachers ask you to when you have the child (mother should be doing the same)... This is just an example and it will be different depending on childs age etc but hopefully you can see what I mean.
Hope this helps..
@Daddyup thanks for the help, really appreciate it. I've prepared myself for the long run, and have already waited for 1 year 3 months mate. The Judge did say that on the fact finding report. He mentioned that she believes she lied on all the other points but believes the mark / bruise on her hand might have been done by me. I suppose I'm worried, even though she lied about everything the fact that he thinks I might have done this one thing (and wrote this on fact find report), its going to make things even longer. Specially with the addition of delays and some of the negative stuff ive read on CAFCASS.
I suppose I'm hoping for the best mate.. and missing the kids.
@edpacket my son will be 7 years old in 2 weeks and my daughter will be 2 years old in September. Looks like i will be missing my sons Birthday again. this will be 2nd one.
I was meant to have a adjourned court hearing (from the final hearing) today where by Ex has to show proof about her lies on my son having behavioural issues.. (as you can see above posts its been more lies).. but last Friday the court has changed the date to 1st Sept now, due the judge not been available. Completely last minute which means I cant ask the court to see my son on his birthday even if its supervised contact.
@bill337 @yoda @Daddyup @craigmcd @everyone … I also have a Section 7 interview in 2 weeks now. Any help on what they will ask for would be really helpful.. I will try and prepare etc. I've been reading online too and most of the stuff seem to be negative comments about CAFCAS and how they are Bias.
I really appreciate all your help and comments!
@jabilm60 Thanks. I haven't seen my son for 8 months now and his birthday is this Sunday. I cannot believe I won't see my son for 1+ year. It is unbelievable the power the mother has.
@edpacket its heart breaking mate. My son will be 7 next week and my daughter will be 2 next month. i haven't seen then for 1 year 3 months such a important part in their life's.
@Daddyup @bill337 @yoda @criagmcd @everyone - Anyone have any ideas or comments on what sort of questions the CAFCAS person will ask in the section 7 interview. I have read my position statement and also she has a copy of the fact finding. When i speak to her i know it should all about the kids and not to do mud slinging. but i also think she will state the lies which my ex has been going on about, even though most of them have been dismissed by the judge in the fact finding.
All I'm thinking about is the interview. just over a week away.
Make sure u know about your kids schools etc. Cafcass tried to catch me out and see if I knew where they went school. Ex moved away and reschooled them without my knowledge and they wanted to see if I made a effort to find out.
Don't slag of Yr ex, just say I don't know why she does or said that about me. Don't go into it. If they sense hostility they will note it in report. I kept it child focused but ex slagged me off and cafcass said there is hostility between parents. I wasn't happy they said this as it does not come from me. It's all created by ex.
In their section 7 cafcass recommended I get the default weekends. I wanted more but they ignored all my parenting plans and efforts I put across to them. They are biased.
They also talked to my kid who's very young and the mother got her to say stuff about me and made the kid say I'm very mean to her also. They said I talk bad to the kid which is untrue. But cafcass hinted the kid could have been influenced which she clearly was. Gd luck mate, this system wasn't designed for us, and we will never be winners. Just something u have to come to terms with.
@Vik2001 Your so spot on us men will never be winners always losers, I went through all this with Cafcass they tried to catch me out slip hear slip there your right by saying do not say a bad word against or concerns because it will come over so negative and they have a nasty habit of turning what you say and re-write sections of the interview (interoperate differently) and yes they should be independent of the courts, social services, education, health authorities and all similar agencies but they are so one sided. jabilm60 all that you have to do is as everyone will say keep your head stay calm (will be difficult) but think before you answear best of luck.
My section 7 report they said both parents need to do the separated parents course. I already done the course and supplied the certificate to cafcass. They just didn't even bother acknowledging I did it. Something I will bring up at final hearing.
I want more days but in end judge can side with u and give a extra day here or there I'm hoping as there no concerns with me. I even moved nearer by, have a flexible working from home job and cafcass took none of this on board, and just gave me default weekends. I was put through contact centres accused of alcohol abuse. My results came back fine, I had a fact finding and was cleared. After this [censored] all I got was the default.
I should have just walked with my trousers down and said do what u want with me from the start. I truly feel abused and shell shocked by the whole thing. While in mean time she's now taking me through court for a massive share in house. May even end up homeless at some point.
@Vik2001 @Daddyup @everyone I had my CAFCAS section 7 interview. worrying thing is that they didn't ask me any questions about the children or our relationship. I tried to keep the answers children related and spoke about the children and what I did with them and positives my sons old school said about me etc. focused on all the comments about keeping it child focus..
On the fact finding my ex allegation were found to be lies and without credibility. however only one thing the judge said was she had a bruise on her arm could of been done by me. i know it happened when she fell over and not by me. The CAFCASS women wanted to speak to me about this and how my families relationship with my ex and children were. I pointed her towards the fact finding judgement as we covered everything and tried to keep it children focused.
They will interview my son (7 year old) this week, so I'm really worried about it as I haven't seen him for 15 months. She is definitely coaching him and I have mentioned that CAFCASS that i believe this too. really worried about what I'm reading about them been Biased and what my ex will get my son to say.
The fact finding clearly shows how my ex has been changing her allegations and just trying to delay contact again. but I'm really not sure if they will consider anything. just hoping for the best.
@jabilm60 Cafcass also interviewed my youngest. she was coached to say stuff against me, and she did. she said she dont want to live with me, im a bad mean person etc. when cafcass asked how she knows this, she 'said mummy told her'. regardless of this cafcass recommended i get only every other weekend 4 nights. she said that when shes with me i say stuff against the mother, and tell her not to say anything to her mum. she also said i pushed my other youngest kid to the floor in the garden because i was angry. cafcass in general didnt know what to make if my youngest was being real or making it all up.
i know she was told by the mother what to say to cafcass.
i got my final hearing in few weeks, will argue this to judge, it shows clear manipulation from mother, and is a form of alienation.
cafcass are useless and still made the mother gets better access, we really as men have no chance. after a fact finding and being cleared, moving closer to ex wife for the kids, and having a flexible working job, i get the bare minimum. in the mean time ex is taking me to court over the house and she wants a bigger share.
good luck as you will need it even if your a angel.
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