Just been served with a non mol court date?

Posted by: @djsmith

I fully understand.



Sometimes you Just have to say ok the truth will come out it can not be hidden for Life something called Karma will happen, but at the end you do what's best for “you” your mental wellbeing it will take a hit could take you years to recover plus the Debit and worry that you got yourself into.
With me if it helps.

I can say, was going to fight but thought about my options seeked good advice, cleared x debit even though yes false allegations lied to the police, lied to Cafcass / Courts etc managed to get legal aid sorry to say it was stay sane and have my Mental wellbeing in tacked well only, still recovering from all of this or fight to clear my name of the false allegations at the end none were proven but the court / Cafcass still fell for x Drama and here say and pity / could have gone down the fact finding, witness statements and witness character reference etc would have cost a packet all for what?

I would have felt better but would have not have got my costs back and guess what x lives in the family home with the children all paid for on the benefit street.
Courts / Cafcass don’t care, if your living on a park bench in your car, because there’s children involved and that x has played the system, but at the end once this all ends you will end up the better person with your head held high God forbid if x comes knocking it will be to late you would have got your life back!
By that time you would have moved on.

Yes I still have not seen my Son or Daughter for over 2 Years once this is over it will be 6 Years they will be, Son 22 Daughter 20 they will make up there own minds and Guess what my door will always be open to them!
Can't say the same about the x!

Last thought you put your children first that you always loved them and made sure that they had a roof over there heads no matter what (at the end they will always thank you for that) well you can always hope but your Conscience will be clear your x well she will have to live with that for the rest of her life!!


Sorry being long.

Thank you for your words.

I am representing myself, it won’t cost me if it goes down the fact finding/ witness character reference route will it?

hi,

If your self-representing, then there's no further cost. but if your ex makes allegations about alcohol/drug use, and if court orders you to take drug tests, then there would be costs. hopefully it doesn't come to that.

@prisma As others have stated No cost unless test etc.

if x has Legal Aid they will try and tie you up trip twist and turn I started off deflecting but it took its toll on my mental well-being but have kept costs down 

Best of Luck 🤞 please keep posting as we are all routing for you!

Would a cross-undertakings and agreed wording go against a contact order later down the line?

Also, In a contact order case, can the malicious ex just say anything and a test will be ordered? Even with zero proof or evidence?

And how much do these tests cost?

@prisma hi cannot say for sure. but courts are known to take a cautious approach and may order tests to be on safe side. tests could cost roughly anywhere between few hundred to £1000 or above.

Posted by: @bill337

@prisma hi cannot say for sure. but courts are known to take a cautious approach and may order tests to be on safe side. tests could cost roughly anywhere between few hundred to £1000 or above.

I can’t actually believe it. These women take our children away from us. We apply for a order (at our expense) to see our own children that we rightfully should do. Then they can just freely lie and say we have alcohol or drug issues with no proof or evidence that demonstrates this. And then be ordered to take a test that costs us £1000 out of our pocket.

How in the world is this justice and how is nothing being done about this corruption?

@prisma 

i joined to answer this.

I had this exact thing last year, (2020) I contested false drug allegations and the parties were made to share equally the cost of testing.

the drug I admitted to, I had to pay the full sum for testing.

if you don’t do it, say so.

if you do, stop. You will be tested.

destroy all evidence of you doing whatever it is you may be doing.

Deny it to split the cost but make sure you stay clean.

Pick your own path!

I passed all of my tests.

alcohol, opiates, cocaine and its derivatives, cannaboids.

alcohol seems to be a standard test regardless of whether it was mentioned or not? Nobody on either side mentions alcohol but I was still ordered to do a test?

I admitted cannabis as my phone was seized, (false harassment) and it had a number of incriminating messages so I felt obliged to stick my hand up and say I do. Apart from that I’m clean as a whistle.

All tests are hair strand and your hair develops in your scalp for two weeks prior to its emergence from the scalp.

They can reasonably test with a high degree of accuracy to at least 6 months from the date the sample was taken.

cut your hair if you have to!

I highly recommend alpha biolabs.

The court didn’t seem to care about the use of cannabis!

and I’m now allowed to do any drug (even the drugs I’ve never done) providing it allows a 48 hour window before any contact direct or otherwise with my child.

I’ll be honest, I was scared they would stop me seeing my baby because of this.

Update on my case:

I did my research, I got my house in order and I have self represented throughout. She had a annoying McKenzie friend (fake legal wannabes) who I did put in her place after doing my research on what they can and can’t do.

The judge put forward either accept the non mol order or go to a trial. I put forward a cross-undertakings on the grounds of not accepting any of the allegations and to allow contact arrangements going forward. 

The judge and both parties accepted this but I will not sign anything until I am happy with the wording of it first.

I am almost past the first milestone and I feel like a bit of the dark cloud has passed and it’s starting to brighten up.

The next step after this is a contact arrangement order and a parental responsibilities order.

She took away my first Father’s Day, and now my child’s first Christmas. These are things I will never get back. I’ve tried to understand why she is so evil but it consumes you trying to understand someone else’s behaviour.

I will update after the next court date and I will try to help others who are experiencing a similar situation.

well done with what you have achieved so far. I will warn you that there will be times when things will probably go against you, but having had a reasonable outcome, just remember in those times that you will have more, and keep looking forward. Good luck with everything to come.

The behaviour of her Mckenzie friend will only undermine her own case against you.

it may be an attempt to rile and antagonise you, but if you don’t rise to it....

you win.

My next question is; will a cross-undertakings with a none acceptance of allegations go against you with a child arrangements order?