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Hi All,
Ok, so my ex is at it yet again....
I asked if we could make an alternative arrangement for a day that I am unable to see my son. She obviously wanted to know why.. Somethings are private and that was one of them. I was tactful when I said it but ok, it didn\'t go down.
She then asked for double maint money and me not pay Jans payment (Thats a non starter for me)
Then when I had the boy, I saw a mark and asked how he got it. (Knowing the boy gets everywhere)! - I get accused of accusing them of beatng the child.
Then to my utter surprise, when I meet at the drop off point, I\'m ambushed by her sister and verbally assaulted.
So, we\'ve been flexible in the court order in that id go to her house once every other week to collect boy and negate the meeting point. In return I get two extra hours on top of the court allowed time. A great arrangement.
However, she\'s back to breaking the basics of the order and I feel that in order to protect myself I need to revert back to the meeting place and NOT go near her home in fear of ambush. WHICH would not be good for the boy.
What are your thoughts ? I want to email her.
Life,
With an ex like yours, she is always going to create problems, and act in a way that is irrational to a normal person. You of course have to deal with her for the good of your son. Not an easy job at all.
I think we all know you are child focused and reasonable in your actions.
Sometimes your ex can be reasonable, that is the confusing part. But it is all part of unpredictable and irrational behaviour.
So, you arranged between yourselves to meet at her home in exchange for extra contact time, which is great. You arranged that between yourselves out of court, which is positive. I doubt you would want to lose that time with your son, which could happen if you insist on going back to the basic court order. You have that court order in place, sometimes there has to be a little flexibility on both sides to make it work. If things are overly rigid, that in itself can make problems.
If I were in your position now, I would do the following. I would email your ex and politely explain to her that you are very disappointed by what happened at the recent handover. Explain to her that asking about a bruise your son had was a question from a concerned parent, not an accusation of anything at all. I would then say that it is not appropriate for her family members to attend handovers, and certainly not acceptable for them to be abusive to you in the presence of your son. Remind her that the court made an order that is in the best interests of your son. End it by saying that handovers and contact have been going well, and you would like that to continue going forward. Remind her that you will not tolerate abusive and threatening behaviour and if it continues you may have to seek the guidance of the court. You hope you can both put the events of last week behind you and move forward for your sons sake. That\'s it. Short and simple.
She either responds reasonably, or not. I don\'t think this is a massive problem. It sounds to me like her ego has been bruised by what you said, (her fault for msnundersanding and jumping off the deep end) she has vented to her sister, and her sister has acted like a clown in response. Get things back on track sooner rather than later, and carry on enjoying your contact as it sounds to me like it has been going really well.
Simon.
Thanks Simon,
Always wise words! -- Tried to ask today how he was and got a blanket response --- "I want your solicitors details" in response to every time I ask how he is today.
I think that email is a great idea!
John
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