[Solved] Is this reality...

Don't worry too much about the crying. I cried through every hearing for months. I think somehow it showed the judge that I was human and that I was under attack. I'm not saying milk your emotions, I'm just saying allow yourself to be human.

If you have evidence of her harming you then you have evidence of DV which is useful if taken seriously.

Try not to worry too much with these hearings, focus on getting through them and telling the truth. Ideally if you do that, the details should begin to drop into place for the Court and that will help with your outcome.

Perhaps you can request that you wait in a separate waiting area at court, give the court a call and see what can be arranged... it might help with the nerves if you take someone with you for moral support.

Therein lies the rub, I got no one for moral support, she was my everything and now the destroyer of everything, the swing is torturous.

I do not even know how to present myself around her, blank her, strong eye contact feigning confidence or attempt to ask her about the children.

Blank her.

I used to call The Samaritans often - at least nightly for a few months. I'd tell them my story and ask if I was making sense - because it all seemed so bizarre and unbelievable to me. Some would answer and some would say "we can't give advice". But they listened and they allowed me to work through the problem in my mind.

You are never alone. Ever.

Excellent advice there Justdad - we often forget about the Samaritans. As you say, then can't give legal advice, but they can listen and that is often a big part of getting through it.