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Hi, first post, I'll try to keep my complicated legal situation story as short as possible.
Background: I have a 3 year son with severe Autism non verbal and a healthy 1 year old son. Russian wife 4 years together and I was the househusband.
In March this year I suspected my wife of having an affair with a rich old manpliuative man more than twice her age. One day in April suspicion got the better of me and I saw on my son's IPAD that's connected to her iPhone on find my iPhone, that she was in the other man's house. When she returned home I asked where she was "with female friends" the reply. I said I know you wasn't and at the other man's house. Faster than you can say St-Petersberg, her phone came out and dialled 999. I got arrested for (false) assault and coercion.
I spent the night in the cells (quite the experience having had a spotless crimimal history) and then told I had another arrest of sexual touching. After the police interview I got released without bail and conditions pending further investigation. I spent a week at my parents. My wife texted me saying she doesn't want a divorce and I returned home.
The next days she kept seeing other man, even missing the family BBQ she wanted. I tried not to react to it but sadness is clear. Few days later the SS came, we agreed before hand to be civil in front of them, she blindsided me and laid rip into me escalating her false DV claims. They made a pretty shocking single assentment, granted it picked up a few of her discrepancies it was 90% against me. About a week later she kept mentioning the other man's name to try and provoke me, I packed my bag and went to leave for my parents, she assaulted me and tried to stop me leaving while holding our baby in one arm, she sprained my wrist, it took me 10 minutes to escape out the backdoor without touching her or risk harming our baby. I reported her to the police but didn't want her arrested (I'm a soft idiot that still loves her).
I stayed with my parents for 2 weeks, I visited the children almost everyday for days out. Then I wanted to return home and she said she would go to refgue if I did, I said I didn't want my children in refgue and let her carry on living in my house alone. About a week later I went to pick up the children as arranged the day before and she was gone! I thought she might of went to Russia with the children so I called 999. SS didn't know where she was. Then they called back 2 hours later and said she put herself in refgue.
While in refgue for 4 weeks she got rid of her spouse visa with no recourse to public funds for a DV visa, 2 weeks ago I got an ex parte non molestation/occupation order to ban me 100m from my house I'm the sole tenant of, in the order she lied that I raped her and that's why I got arrested! Also I'm forbidden all communication with her.
Last week I found out the other man was a 4 time convicted [censored] offender! SS advised her to stay away while they investigate (she wont, absoutely obsessed over him) and I applied for Sarah's law on him. Early this week her original allegations against me got dropped lacking evidence and a couple of days ago I went to a directions hearing (not before getting a death threat from other man) my lawyer said after the hearing it's unlikely I'll overturn the occupation order and be very expensive to fight it (I will even though it will bankrupt me) and I applied for a prohibited steps against the other man. I can't believe it, how's it in best interest for children to be with her and forcing me to lose my home and to live in a box room at my parents when I done nothing wrong and she's clearly scamming? Why no one seems to care she's throwing around a false rape claim in her order?
She is also refusing me to see my children, hiding behind single assentment, it's been over 6 weeks now, it's breaking my heart, making me feel suicidal, my children probably have forgot me by now. SS said they have no concerns about me seeing my children, it's just my wife stopping me. I got no support, my mother has a terminal illness so I can't lean on her, mental health said therapy won't help while in turmoil. I was a loner (mild autism) before knowing my wife and lost my happiness from being alone since having a normal life. I can't see any positive out comes and the pain gets worse everyday. Is there anyway legally to salvage this situation?
I can't imagine how my 3 year old feels seeing me all day every day and suddenly I'm ripped out of the family and he can't say a word. It's pure wickedness.
Hi there
I’m really sorry that you are in such a distressing situation.
As far as the children are concerned, you would be best to apply to the court for a Child Arrangements Order. As you have already made an application for a Prohibited Steps Order, you can add another their application to the existing proceedings by using form C2. If you are using a solicitor for this, they can do this for you.
If you’re struggling financially. You could consider representing yourself in court, many dads here have done so with much success.
It might help you to deal with your problems if you attend a Families Need Fathers meeting in your area, where you’ll meet other parents in similar situations and get face to face support and advice. Here’s a link to their website where you'll find details of meetings nationally
www.fnf.org.uk/help-and-support-2/local-branch-meetings
Best of luck
Thank you for your reply Mojo. My solicitor added a contact order on an urgent basis. Do you have any idea how long the contact order and prohibited steps order will take to issue?
I had to pay for the police disclosure this week on myself because wife claiming destitution even though I can prove she has 1000s in cash squirrelled away. What will happen when police see her (false) claim about rape in non mol order but doesn't match her police statement, will they investigate it against me? This week I had a letter confirming all my wife's orginal allegations got dropped due to lack of evidence.
My faith in humanity at all time low, I asked SS on their visit to the children 2 weeks ago if they can tell me if my youngest is walking and talking yet, no reply, I asked the Vicar to chase them up last week as well, He said he would, no reply as well. 7 weeks in the dark. I even don't know what nursery my wife put them in, seems I have no PR at all and just the dogs dinner. This week I became officially homeless as well due to only having parents box room.
With urgent applications you shouldn't have to wait too long, depends on the work load/backlog of applications at your particular court, but you can give them a call to see what's happening.
I doubt very much the police would investigate the rape allegation, unless she reports it to them directly.
Unfortunately many fathers find themselves in a similar situation, having to leave the family home and rely on family to give them a place to sleep, and often with no contact or updates about their children. Try and stay strong for your childrens sake, they need you to keep fighting for them... as confused as you are they will be effected too.
When you get to court push for any form of contact, even if it's supervised at a contact centre, whilst the allegations are investigated further by the court.
All the best
I phoned the court this morning and the judge granted the hearing (will I have to attend it?) about the prohibited steps and contact order, 2 weeks from listing and seems they are only going to list it today! How is that urgent? Already been 11 days. My children will be exposed this 4 time convicted [censored] offender for another 2 weeks! That's just the 4 times he's been caught in this country. FML, I feel in absolute despair and worried to death. Probably getting my youngest to call him daddy.
2 weeks since I heard from the police about Sarah's application, should be getting a call back today, but I won't hold my breath.
I heard from Vicar today, SS are ignoring him as well, at least I can take solace in that it's nothing personal.
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