[Solved] Is regular visitation waived if...

If your court order doesn't specify what happens when scheduled and holiday contact clash, then it's a bit of a grey area.

Your 4 weeks would usually be assumed to be in addition to the regular contact. It is something you will have to resolve directly with the mother I'm afraid. Depending on the age of your son, a court may or may not view it as a breach. If your son is young, what about suggesting that you will have a 1 week holiday with him but you could have the regular scheduled contact moved to another weekend?

This is something that is likely to crop up regularly so try to think outside the box a bit and compromise where you can whilst ensuring your son doesn't lose his court ordered time with you.

Keep posting and we will try to help where we can.

Good luck

Hi Mini

I have had similar situations in the past which have been heavily negotiated from both sides to try and come to a compromise.
For me the key is to come across as open and flexible as you possibly can in the hope that it will be paid back in the future.... it doesn't always work that way but it is good to have that approach because ultimately you will have a relationship with mother and child for years to come. Easier said than done of course!

In our case we have half the holidays and every other weekend. For the extra time over the holidays we run on a Monday to Friday calendar. This means that our weekend either gets tagged on to the beginning it end of our week (depending on how it falls).

In your case if you run on a Saturday to Friday timetable and keep him for your weekend at the end you would have him every weekend over the holidays. This would mean you would have him more than mum over the holidays. I'm not saying your right or wrong as it's a grey area, but she may be a bit miffed if she doesn't seeing him on weekends at all.

I appreciate that you don't see him very much outside of holidays, so there may be an argument to say that you're making up some time over the holidays. But I would suggest that the court may write into the order that you share the holidays equally (with weekends included).

In our case is not grey at all as it's all outlined explicitly in the court order to avoid conflict.

Thanks for your reply Spottedtree, our little boy is only three so we take our weeks together throughout the year, and I have always mentioned if she doesn't want to mess up his routine with nursery I'm happy for him to continue going through my time with him. But she always insists on cancelling it. Which obviously means much more quality time but little insight into his normal routine.

I just want as much contact time with him as possible as I get no information about what he's up to from week to week, I do of course message her weekly asking what he's been up to and how is he but get short messages just telling me he's fine.

I think I'm just going to have to go back to my solicitor to get an answer one way or another. I want things to be amicable but I'm giving up hope that things are going to improve.

Hey there 🙂

Sorry I misunderstood and thought you meant a 4 week block. In that case it sounds reasonable, but unless the court order is explicit there will always be greyness. Your situation sounds very similar to ours, so I appreciate where you're coming from. Hopefully your solicitor will be able to give you some proper advice. It's only 4 weeks a year so it seems a little harsh that she can't just let go for an extra couple of days 🙁

Hello MINI175,

My Son's situation is virtually the same as yours and Spottedtree's. When it is for a week's holiday he has the Monday to Friday tagged on to the weekend he would normally have them. I think my Son's is stipulated in the Court Order so I can well understand if it hasn't been for you it is rather a grey area.

You say you get no information about your Son, are you aware that on producing the Court Order confirming access to your child you can contact and be privy to what is happening and the progress your child is making at the nursery, school, dentist and doctor? My Son, annually requests the children's medical notes, a fee for these has to be paid.