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Hi Dads of the world.
I need some help and advice on my current situation and any help thoughts would be great.
I split from my wife around about 18 months ago and we have 2 children 5 and 7. I moved away after the split to another city to pursue a business opportunity. At that time I would return to the family home to see my children every other weekend.
I was still paying her a around £1500 per month to cover the mortgage and bills etc as well as paying for other things such as school fees. Last year she attempted to take her life and was in no fit state to look after our children full time. By this time I was in another relationship and had to leave her to return to the family home to care for my children full time. I moved back in to the family home and cared for my children full time. This started in October last year, when she came out of hospital she stayed at her mums but was keen to return to the family home as quickly as possible. I allowed this as I thought it best for the children and also her mental health. I decided to stay near my children as I knew how fragile my ex wife was and wanted to be near them. I had to take a reduction in my earnings and also took on rent, council tax bills etc and also carried on paying the mortgage and bills on the family home. My wife now is much better and has started her own business and is building a good social life for herself. Whilst I am stuck working in a city where I hardly know anyone my new partner is in another city ( with our new child) . We are now at that stage of trying to sort out our financial commitments, we had agreed that we would sell the house and split the equity 50/50 I would out of my part pay 1 years school fees circa £14k and I would have no more commitment to her after that. I have my children stay with me between 2-3 nights per week and also take them away for summer holidays etc and have had them more when ever I can.
So since moving back I have carried on paying her around £1250 per month and taken a reduction in earning and taken on rent bills etc of my own. This has now got me further in to debt as I have prioritized paying her above anything else. Looking at the CSA website and calculating what I should be paying this is somewhere around £100 per week. My Question (at last) as I have been paying a larger amount than what the CSA recommends does she have a better chance of getting more from me than the recommended amount - as I see it at the moment I have been supporting her whilst she grows her own business and I have put my life on hold and will continue to do so to be near my children. Also if I pay the school fees of £14k for a year can this amount be set against future monthly payments?
Knowing my ex wife I am going to be the devil incarnate if I try and say enough is enough - but on a salary of gross £3.5k per month and my own bills of £2,000 per month plus paying out next year circa £1,100 per month school fees and having my children stay 2 - 3 nights per week what do you think she can take reasonably be entitled to?
Any thoughts please.
Firstly, anything you pay in school fees this year will not be offset against future payments, so don't do this. Also, is there a case already open with the CSA or CM? If not, make the assumption that your ex could open a case with them 12 months after any court order for maintenance, and the CMS will override any court ordered maintenance. I would certainly speak to the CMS to get their rules on school fees - I vaguely recall that some of the school fees can be included in maintenance if there is boarding involved, but you'd need to check this thoroughly.
The CSA will only work on their calculation, not on what you have been paying (though the courts might)- it might well be worth you paying £20 to open a case with the CMS and using them for the direct pay, so this is in place before any final financial settlement in court.
Realistically, I would get some advice from a family lawyer, you may get a 30 minute consultation free, but your case could be quite complex, so I would suggest that even paying for a couple of hours of advice (you don't have to use them further) could save you a lot of money in the long run.
Wouldnt it be cheaper just to pay through CsA? They wont make you pay more then the statutory. Also you wont be liable for any back payments since its only from date of application.
Yes, that is generally the case (CMS now, not CSA) but I think she may be able to apply for a variation regarding school fees, so it's worth checking first, and it's possible that a court order where school fees are involved might not be overridden by the CMS.
Realistically, I would get some advice from a family lawyer, you may get a 30 minute consultation free, but your case could be quite complex, so I would suggest that even paying for a couple of hours of advice (you don't have to use them further) could save you a lot of money in the long run.
Agree, you need assistance with a good ancillary relief (financial settlement) solicitor.
Anything you agree and settle needs to be legally written to avoid claims in the future.
Hi There,
I agree with all of the above, CMS will only take into account your earnngs, that said if you are going through court for your finacial settlement it is possible that as you have supported your ex so much that she may try and claim spousal maintenance as well as child maintenance.
Go and talk to a solicitor and have them look through everything, as her chances of claiming extra will all depend on the financial disclosure from you both, a solicitor will be able to look at things and give a much better idea as they will have all the details in front of them.
GTTS
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