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Today, I went to court on my own. And I won.
It wasn't easy and it was scary, but I have won this for my son. Here's a little stage by stage of how my case went to help you with a better idea of what goes on at an interim hearing
- I was armed to the teeth when I entered the room, she appeared with her solicitor.
- The sheriff came in and sat down. I hadn't said a word to her side yet.
- Sheriff said good morning and asked me to explain what I was here for (He had a copy of the writ to read already)
- I explained I was there to seek contact SO MY SON DOESN'T NEED TO GO WITHOUT whilst this matter is resolved.
- The defence stated that I had a history of abuse and self harm (Which I don't)
- Sheriff asks what that has to do with anything relating to my child
- Defence states I'm not trusted
- I am then asked for my side where I 'vigorously' deny these allegations and offer the sheriff clerk a doctors letter confirming I have
no history of self harm, drink, drugs etc.
- I also hand over a police report showing I am clear
- Sheriff asks why contact has lasted 3 years without any hint of 'abuse'
- Offer 10 statements from friends/family/pro's on my character
- I suggest that in fact the she mentally abused and bullied me, which is backed up in statements
- Sheriff then addressed her directly and she pointed out an occasion where I PHONED HER to tell her I had laughed and walked off leaving my son crying on the floor of a busy shopping centre at Christmas.
- Defence solicitor's [censored] tightens when I produce DVD entitled 'SHOPPING CENTRE CCTV'. That's right, it was all caught on tape.
- Sheriff now clearly pissed with her lies and orders a bar report and refuses contact as too many allegations that need to be resolved
- I stand up and point out that I am happy to pay for contact centre so my son doesn't have to go without
- Sheriff asks if there is any reason to oppose
- 'I don't want him to see him' is all they can muster
- Sheriff orders contact in a centre until bar report concluded.
DO NOT be scared to stand up (When appropriate and without interrupting) and say that little bit extra. Offering a contact centre was probably what changed his mind, NOT disproving her allegations.
So guys, do not be afraid, once you start speaking within 30 seconds you will be in your element. The sheriff will NOT scare you, the solicitor will NOT scare you and neither will your ex. They won't even look at you.
It's in your child's welfare, remind, remind, remind!!!!
Well done mate - made up for you and your son.
Love good news stories.
Gooner
Hi There
You are so right when you get into it all the fear goes and you are ready to battle.
In my case the judge tried to bring finances into the contact side of things and I challenged the judge back stating that finances and contact shouldn't ever be discussed in the same court room, I got a little smile from the judge and she moved on.
As said don't ever be afriad to challenge,
Really well done there mate - that is fantastic news.
You sir are an inspiration to us all.
How long did it take to process from start to finish?
I am likely to be submit a C100. Is there an additional form to get interim access as its been a month without seeing my 3 year old and 4 month old.
BW
From start to finish it took me 46 days from the incident to the court hearing. It could have been 41 days but I delayed it an extra week.
That's including a 2 week period over christmas too, so in reality just shy of a month. In this space of time I've also attempted mediation and had a lawyers letter sent to her.
I'm in Scotland so I done it as an initial writ and submitted it to the court and could have had it back the same day had a sheriff been available. They wanted it in court 5 days later but I panicked and put it back a week to give me time (That I didn't need afterall).
But then again, I had a contact centre arranged less than 30 minutes after I walked out of court.
My advice? Do not hang around, show people you are keen to move things along and never drop the ball, keep things moving to keep your sanity.
Always give yourself a goal. My goal was to do the writ, then my next goal was to get it submitted before a certain day, and so forth. It gives you something to aim for.
In my eyes, I would now swear by self rep because I am in control and frankly, my solicitor that I had appointed hasn't been in touch since the start of jan and there are no updates with the legal aid and in that short space of time, I've been to court and been awarded contact.
Nuff said really and it cost me £200ish including having sheriff officers serve the papers upon her!
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