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My Partner's ex immediately became awkward and stopped contact with their Son as soon as she was told about me last Christmas. She first started with an allegation that my Partner had suddenly become an unfit driver and that the child did not want to go in his car. Then she insisted on supervising all contact and even went to the extreme of sitting in a restaurant car-park when my Partner took the child out for tea. All phone contact between my Partner and his child was also put on loudspeaker and she would often direct the child how to answer. In March this year she completely stopped all contact claiming the child did not want to see or speak to his Dad. This went on for months till my Partner took her to court where she proceeded to spout a load of lies to Cafcass about him, claiming he was an unfit father and had a drink problem.. The judge saw through her however and advised mediation again and made a contact order. Both mediation and the first few contacts went well and my partner saw his son for the first time in months. Considering the mother claimed that the child did not want to see or speak to him, the child did not have to be presented to him kicking and screaming. My partner has now moved to Scotland from England to be with me and the Court made another order but this time for the child to visit his father in Scotland after an initial weekend in England. The Mother was not a happy bunny and the judge told her that he couldnt force the order but if she wanted a contested hearing then thats what would happen but "she wouldnt like it " so the Mother agreed to the Order. The weekend in England took place but then the Mother raised an objection to the court and tried to vary the order to exlcude the contact in Scotland. This was rejected by the Court. My Partner went to collect his Son to bring him for his contact in Scotland but the Mother told him by text that he wasnt getting to take him to Scotland and told him her Solicitor would contact his. She provided no reasons for her actions so my Partner immediately raised an enforcement order to include all expenses incurred as train tickets had been booked in advance for the visit. The Mother immediately stopped all contact with the child. A hearing was to take place in Sheffield but on arrival my Partner was told that it would be a half-hour hearing and that because the Mother 'had raised concerns' then it would now go to a full hearing. They were both to submit statements, the mother first and then my Partner. The Mother;s statement bleated about the treatment she had received by the judge, how she felt her solicitor had not represented her properly (she had sacked the solicitor and engaged another) and did not give any real reasons for her breaching the order, She did state, however that she had stopped contact in March coz she feared the child may be abducted - no mention of the child saying he did not want to see or speak to his Father which was her excuse back then!! Strange that she should now claim abduction when my Partner was still living and working in England at that time. She also attached a letter written by my Partner 7 years ago when he was drunk at a party and he nipped another person's bottom which he did in fun but it was taken the wrong way and my Partner wrote a letter of apology to the couple who hosted the party. His ex had kept that letter and produced it as evidence!!. Also at the hearing in Sheffield my partner was given an order for telephone and skype contact. We had bought the child a Tablet in August so that he could Skype his Father. This has never worked since we set it up for him and the Mother point blank refused to do anything about it claiming her wifi is dodgy - her laptop still works tho according to the child!! My Partner got 4 phone calls with his child, all of which were on loud-speaker with the Mother listening in and chirping up in the background and the child repeating word for word what she was saying, even using the tone she used. Then she stopped all contact again, claiming the child does not want to speak to his Father, so this is another order breached. To top it all the Mother is a teacher at a private school where the child attends and she has removed the child on 2 occasions so as to avoid contact with his Father. Obviously my Partner has made the school aware and she has been reprimanded for her behaviour and told she could be bringing the school into disrepute. Does this stop her though, no it doesn't. The poor child must be going through [censored] as one minute he gets contact with his Dad, then he doesnt. It is evident with the things that the child says that the Mother puts things in his head. My partner says that this is having a negative impact on the child and claims he is hardly recognisable in his behaviour. The chid is very arrogant, cocky and the words he uses are not that of a 8 year old child - he actually accused his Dad of lying in court. He also talks in a condenscending manner to his Dad which is exactly how the Mother speaks to my Partner. My Partner can only hope that when this goes back to court again next month that the new judge sees through the mother's lies and ignores her claims for a "wishes and feelings" meeting for the child when she has clearly been brainwashing the poor little mite for months. My view is that the Mother should not be using her child to get back at her ex because she doesn''t like the fact that he's moved on with his life. She obviously does not care about the impact her actions are having on her child and using him in the abuse of her ex is down-right dispicable. I've advised my ex to apply for residency as the environment the little boy is living in at the moment is not healthy. What do others think?
Hi there
Unfortunately this is an all too familiar story here on the forum. It never fails to shock me how easily some mothers can use their child as a weapon....thankfully though they are a minority in the bigger picture.
I wouldn't worry about the "evidence" she attached to her statement, it's irrelevant and historic and has no bearing on the current situation.
Generally speaking residence is transferred very very rarely and parental alienation whilst beginning to be recognised in the UK courts still has a long way to go before it becomes main stream.
Courts will often order a wishes and feelings report and this is probably likely as the mother is alleging that the child doesn't want to see his father.
The biggest stumbling block I feel is your partners move to Scotland, this makes frequent and regular contact harder to achieve.
If she continues to breach orders however there are penalties that the court can use such as community service, transferral of residence and even prison....although courts are loathe to use these powers as they consider that punishing the resident parent often has a negative impact on the child...a bit of a catch 22 situation!
Good luck.
Thanks for your reply.
Yes we realised the move to Scotland may prove somewhat difficult hence the reason we supplied a Tablet set up with Skype for my Partner's son to use to try to keep their relationship alive albeit from a distance but still having that face to face contact which he could use even if he needed help with his homework etc..The Mother knows that Skype calls takes her control away so she hasn't allowed them to take place and uses every excuse under the sun not to use it, even though she was ordered by the Court to have it up and running a month ago. My Partner's original request to the court was for monthly weekend contact and 50/50 share of the school holidays plus a minimum of 3 Skype calls per week. The Judge didn't think Scotland was an issue and even said what child wouldn't love to be heading off on a train to enjoy time with his Dad. The court were also aware that we'd booked a caravan holiday for one of the October school week's and the judge said that my Partner could have him for that week as the little lad would surely enjoy that! It is really sad that his Mother wants to eject his father from his life and her behaviour is just so very very cruel to both the little one and his Dad. Obviously the child feels an allegiance to his mum and is sucked in my her lies. She discusses everything in front of that little boy and doesn't care what she says. My Partner's sister went round to talk some sense into her but it fell on deaf ears and she said she felt really awkward as the Mother insisted the little one sat beside her and listened to all that was being discussed It is so very wrong that a grown woman can be allowed to abuse a child in that way. We just pray to god that she is punished by the Court for her behaviour. Personally I think the only thing that would stop her in her tracks is if the judge threatened her with a change of residency. That would certainly make her sit-up and take notice. Unless she's completely stupid!!
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