[Solved] Indirect Contact Only

Have you had a finding of fact hearing?

What has the court said about the allegations made against you? Have they been found true or false?

I had allegations made against me, and in my 1st position statement I asked the court that unless my ex withdrew the allegations, I wanted a finding of fact hearing listed asap.

Both judges I had so far have not found it necessary to list a finding of fact hearing.

In your case, if the allegations are still proving a bar to contact, they need to be dealt with so the case can move forward.

When is your next hearing in court? And what kind of hearing is it?

Simon.

I agree, your solicitor isn't up to muster... They sometimes err on the side of caution and give worse case scenarios as the probable outcome, then anything above becomes a bonus and a good result!

Listen you are already in discussion with the manager about the one sidedness of the officer compiling the report. The fact is that you have already been a party to two years of indirect contact and its time to move it forward.

Contact centre staff are trained to facilitate contact between estranged parents and their children and as Simon states there is case law about this. Check out the contact centres website and get some information about how they are equipped to deal with the first steps when contact is being re established. Have these arguments to hand for the hearing, along with information about contact centres, where they are and what they offer.

www.naccc.org.uk/

Thanka Jane, I'm going to pm you. Could someone link me to these case laws? As I previously said the previous recomendation was for a referall to contact matters which is a little different from a contact cente in that it is supervised to establish contact and then after 6 sessions a report is prepared for the court.

The worst thing is 2 years ago I [censored] offered my ex contact centre for a period and she refused. If she wouod have said yes then I wouldnt have lost 2 years to end up in the same sort of situation. My instructions to my solicitor are veey clear, i'm not fighting for supervised contact I am going for unsupervised contact. SS proves I am a safe parent and also a [censored] good parent. Until I get that this fight will never be over.

Have you had a finding of fact hearing?

What has the court said about the allegations made against you? Have they been found true or false?

I had allegations made against me, and in my 1st position statement I asked the court that unless my ex withdrew the allegations, I wanted a finding of fact hearing listed asap.

Both judges I had so far have not found it necessary to list a finding of fact hearing.

In your case, if the allegations are still proving a bar to contact, they need to be dealt with so the case can move forward.

When is your next hearing in court? And what kind of hearing is it?

Simon.

You actually make a really good point, thank you I will be emailing my solicitor straight away. The next hearing is the 5th June and it's a review hearing once again and for the first time the cafcass officer will be there.

The allegations are just there, there has been no attempt by the courts or Cafcass to establish the truth. The judge has previously said that looking at the evidence from both sides then the truth may never be known. Of course now we have this fresh allegation of me causing crininal damage which I was arrested for and then released without charge as there was zero evidence however the cafcass officer puts it accross that I did do it. My ex even told Cafcass I would be appearing in court in May for it and the Cafcass officer stated that as a fact even though there was never any suggestion of court as I didn't do it and there was zero evidence.

The report is also saying this is a high risk for the child because of the hostilities between parties. I'm not the hostile one they are yet I get punished, the only thing I can think of is suggesting mediation to Cafcass and the other party? Likely to be rejected because the ex will say shes too scared etc but if i'm willing to do it and shes not then surely that shows her as the hostile one?

The allegations are just there, there has been no attempt by the courts or Cafcass to establish the truth. The judge has previously said that looking at the evidence from both sides then the truth may never be known. Of course now we have this fresh allegation of me causing crininal damage which I was arrested for and then released without charge as there was zero evidence however the cafcass officer puts it accross that I did do it. My ex even told Cafcass I would be appearing in court in May for it and the Cafcass officer stated that as a fact even though there was never any suggestion of court as I didn't do it and there was zero evidence.

Hi Dec,

Your situation sounds similar to mine!

The Courts don't seem to dismiss false allegations by the Ex but put them aside stating that the events could or probably did happen......which I find unbelievable!!

CAFCASS just seem to side with the Mother no matter what you say, It's almost like they don't want to side with the Father just in-case something happens in the future & they are to blame

Good Luck

You're solicitor sounds useless. But, it is just a job to them, and they do have to defer to the Judge a lot (and maybe even opposing counsel).

Cafcass are a total waste of time. You should either have a witness (which they don't like) or request the interview with them be recorded. I have a meeting with them soon, and will be recording it.

Good Luck
Mac

The allegations are just there, there has been no attempt by the courts or Cafcass to establish the truth. The judge has previously said that looking at the evidence from both sides then the truth may never be known. Of course now we have this fresh allegation of me causing crininal damage which I was arrested for and then released without charge as there was zero evidence however the cafcass officer puts it accross that I did do it. My ex even told Cafcass I would be appearing in court in May for it and the Cafcass officer stated that as a fact even though there was never any suggestion of court as I didn't do it and there was zero evidence.

Hi Dec,

Your situation sounds similar to mine!

The Courts don't seem to dismiss false allegations by the Ex but put them aside stating that the events could or probably did happen......which I find unbelievable!!

CAFCASS just seem to side with the Mother no matter what you say, It's almost like they don't want to side with the Father just in-case something happens in the future & they are to blame

Good Luck

You are right there. Even tho there is no evidence of me ever commiting any if these allegations it is viewed as a maybe it did happen. However when I told then that the ex assaulted me which I had witnesses to and she already has convictions for assault and previously sought help from her doctor because of her aggression but still they just dont think it's possible that she was in fact the aggresor.

Yes your right, if they let me see my son and he got hurt then they are gonna be in for a law suit, however they dont take that approach with my ex because she is sweet and innocent.

In 9 years of being a parent never had any involvement with any agencies however this past 2 years i've had it all. They just cant seem to guess that all these unknown calls to SS and my housing association all saying thesame things is in fact my ex. Yet according to my ex i'm the one harassing her.

You're solicitor sounds useless. But, it is just a job to them, and they do have to defer to the Judge a lot (and maybe even opposing counsel).

Cafcass are a total waste of time. You should either have a witness (which they don't like) or request the interview with them be recorded. I have a meeting with them soon, and will be recording it.

Good Luck
Mac

The problem I have got is I have only met the Cafcass officer for 20 minutes in 2 years! Hardly even enough time to introduce myself. I have had a fewshort phone calls since then but they are not interested in talking to me at all. Most likely because what they see and what I would say to them is against the opinion they have of me so they are happy to leave their opinion as it is.

Hi all, not been on here for a while just been trying to get my head around everything. To make this short my ex has a 14 year old sister, I was recently made aware of some posts on social media where this sister appeared to be on a family holiday with her parents and she wrote that she had been in a pub with her parents enjoying alcohol including shots, she then asked my ex to take her down town for a night in the clubs to get drunk. Firstly i'm concerned for the child, at 14 years old should not be drinking especially not shots and that surely is abuse or neglect from the parents? She also mentioned she was doing this with her elder brother who has a string of drug related convictions (which the court didnt look into) Through this process I informed the courts of my ex and hrr familys alcohol problems and was told without evidence to shut up basically. I do not want my son around this sort of environment, this is extremely alarming for me that my sons grandparents are willing to give their underage child strong alcohol, my son has daily contact with these people and I simply dont feel reading stuff like that that these people are safe to be around my son. The awkward thing is the judgebat the last hearing wanted 6 months of calm then contact is pretty much sorted but if I phoned social services with these concerns then mybex is going to say this is harassment so really torn what to do?

Dec no words of wisdom sadly but I feel that when it comes to safeguarding regardless if the judge has asked for 'calm' you can not neglect your duty to raise the concern ,

I always base things on what if something happened and I didn't do anything , totally non related but the other week I witnessed an extremely drunk man around 60 get into his car after having to feel for the lock and ignition I had all three children with me and no mobile we had gone for a walk/bike ride I felt helpless to know what to do - without the children I would have approached the guy and not allowed him to drive by taking the keys but just encase he was feeling brave couldn't have any form of violence near the children so we rushed home and I called the police I had to because I felt I was in the knowledge of what that man was doing and the risk it posed - they took all details but didn't seem concerned and more wondering why I would call up about a stranger but my duty was done , I felt if something happened and I didn't report it I would feel semi responsible and therefore I feel the same for you ,

what happens from your action is not in your hands but I see you had a sense of duty and it was not about getting at your ex and surely anyone interested in children's welfare will see this .

mate I feel for you when you going have some let up , your doing amazing well to keep juggling all that is going on , hope you get some positives soon for both you and your partner

Hi Eric, your right it has been difficult judging everything and choosing what decision to make is best. I will update that other thread about my partner soon but the main positives to come out of this is social services and Cafcass have agreed that neither me nor my partner pose any risk to children despite my ex and her ex claiming that. I was once close to this child who now appears to be consuming alcohol, I consideree her a sister so I do feel a sense of duty. due to her age she will soon be embarking on a very important two years of education so this needs to be nipped in the bud. I also feel this connects directly to the welfare of my child so I have a massive duty there to do what I think is best for him and to protect him. I know the action I should take but if I do so then i'm at risk of upsetting the apple cart and risk upsetting my contact application so yep a tough one to judge. I agree with you on a duty as a citizen, I live on a new housing development so am surrounded by a building site, recently I looked out of my window to see scaffolders sunbathing in my car park drinking cider on their lunch break. I phoned the police and informed them the driver would be drink driving and I phoned their boss and also thr hosing developer who had contracted them and they were immediatly dismissed on the spot, I felt bad they lost their jobs but that is better than them dropping a scaffold pole bwcause their drunk and someone lost their life. Imagine how I would have felt had I not done something and then something happened?

Wow! Just recieved a call from my ex kicking off at me swearingetc, accusing me of harassment that I havnt done. Luckily I have a recording of this call. Come December I now know she is going to continue to deny contact and again play the harassment card. As some may remember I was assaulted by my ex in December, she denied it and denied to the police she had contacted me, had they been able to prove she had contacted me she would have faced prosecution. Now I finally have that proof. My thoughts are i'm not prepared to wait arojnd to december to be told there is going to be more delays. I now have solid proof she is the hostile one. I think I should consider a residence application because she is never going to support contact and continues to be hostile etc.