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Morning guys, firstly - apologies if this isn't the correct forum for this sort of thing, but it's the one that seemed most apt!
Basically - I split up with the Mother of my child about 4 years ago and have regularly seen my daughter since, without much dispute really. Although, without sounding like an angel, most of that is to do with the lengths I would go to to make it convenient and easy for the other side. I don't drive, nor does any of my family, yet all of her family do - and I've still made picked her up and dropped her off on time, every time, for four years.
The past two years I've been with my new partner, and my ex has always had some sort of resentment, but it's never really gotten messy with my daughter because in her own words, I'm a perfect daddy to her. Our arrangement has always been to alternate the big events (Christmas, birthdays, new years etc). And I text her over the weekend to make arrangements for which days etc (its my turn this year to have her Christmas Eve) and I simply got a text back yesterday saying 'She's staying at home' and then a barrage of abuse... whereas I didn't reply besides 'No she's not, its my turn' it seemed like she was genuinely furious at me for even suggesting it.
I feel it's necessary to explain that we seldom talk, about much else besides arrangements for my daughter - so this has got me completely confused, then she started saying if I wanted her at Christmas times I'd need to take her to court, and she would keep her until the court date (of which of course, would fall after Christmas).
I'm furious, which I'm sure comes as no great surprise, and I've contacted solicitors and have a couple of meetings with them today about it all.
What's the best route for me to go down guys, and is it going to cost me an absolute fortune? I work, so I doubt there will be much help I can get.
Thanks for reading and thanks in advance for any replies.
Cheers
Hi There,
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By the sounds of things you have a private agreement so one that has been worked out between the 2 of you without court involvement, if this is the case without taking her to court there is very little you can do as the courts couldn't enforce a private agreement.
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You already have solicitors appointments and it may be a case of an official letter being sent to your ex threatening court by a solicitor may make her back down.
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If it doesn't and you have to attend court then you would firstly need to attend or at least attempt mediation, if you can't agree or your ex won't attend the mediator will sign the court forms so that you can apply for a child arrangement order.
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Of course as your ex knows this won't happen before Christmas meaning she wil get her way for this year at least.
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GTTS
Hopefully you can get her to mediation and agree to a more defined agreement on paper...this is called a Memorandum of Understanding, and whilst not legally binding may give some structure to your agreement.
As GTTS has said, if mediation fails then the only other option is court, but asyou have a working arrangement in place I would urge you to,try and sort this out informally as court proceedings can put added strain on an already fraught relationship between you and your ex. There's a sticky about CAFCASS parenting plans at the top of the legal eagle section which might be a good idea to try and get agreement on, a parenting plan covers all areas of co parenting and might also help your situation.
Best of luck
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