[Solved] in court friday

Good luck anyway.

If you do get a good result, ask in court if you can have the next hearing listed for the same judge - contempt of court is an offence, but if the judge feels that their own rulings are being ignored, then they may take it as a personal affront as well.

I hope it all goes well today,

I'm back on the 19th of this month to try and get everything finalised and can relate to the sleepless nights, My current partner gets disturbed all the time as I'm constantly restless and at least 2 nights a week I end up on the sofa watching TV or on the laptop for a good 2-3hrs.

Fingers crossed you get a good result today and manage a good nights sleep tonight

How did it go Dad-i-d ?

Friday 9th Dec 2011

This was a very good day for me and my long fight to see my little boy.

Attended court to face a Finding of Fact hearing to fight the allegations that my ex has tried thrown at me to try and make me stop my legal fight.

What her big mistake was thinking I would fold against her Barrister and solicitor in court, however I was armed with the Truth and lots n lots of proof from phone texts, emails through to police disclosed incident reports etc… and in all these I was proven not to be or have done what she tried to claim I had. And under oath she finally told the truth of what actually happened on the day I walked out on her!!!
She had originally told police that I’d punched her, but under oath in court on Friday she admitted that was not the case and that I actually grabbed her arm to stop her taking my son away again!
I got cautioned for that, but throughout the contact fight she has told so many lies and accused me of harassment but I had the police logs and incident reports to back me up that I wasn’t….

It was quite funny to see her there admitting she’d not told the whole truth this last 18months and the Judge was not impressed and dismissed all her allegations because I could prove without doubt they were false….i can’t begin to tell you how shocked I was that she finally told the truth, her Barrister was not impressed as she spoke and did have a quite word but she did carry on telling the truth.

A massive victory for me, the Judge told her that Contact would be ordered at the next and final contested hearing and that it was for her and her legal team to work out how that was going to happen rather than it not happening….she was also told that as she had mislead the courts and that she had gone against 4 interim contact orders that the courts had made to make our son available for contact that if she broke the contact order they would enforce it with the penalties at the courts disposal, her legal team were instructed to make it very clear that the courts would not tolerate and would find her in contempt.

I won’t be seeing my little boy until after the contested hearing which I expect to be towards the end of January but I am now more optimistic that she can no longer lie and get away with it!

So…..all I can say is the fight goes on I’m sure for another couple of months and I wouldn’t be surprised if for a lot longer….i know her mentality!

To all fathers here in similar situations I have some advice from my own experiences so far,

• Keep a log of all calls, if they become abusive tell them to put it in writing and contact the police about harassing phone calls – don’t let the police fob you off! Get it recorded to protect yourself.

• Keep a copy of all texts, emails, letters from and to your ex. I actually managed to get a copy of all mine from my provider (O2) up to Dec 2010 after that I took screen shots of every message since then and saved them. I showed the Judge 138 A4 pages of texts that I could prove were not harassing or abusive as she had tried to allege. (2 texts screen shots per page)

• Get any proof from authorities if you have had any involved.

• Keep a journal, with any events, confrontations, threats, emotional blackmail etc… keep all these for you to be able to refer back to.

• Above all else make sure what you say is the truth and you can back it up. Don’t lie or try to deceive you will be found out…..my ex made that mistake!

I have been truthful and honest all the way through my fight for contact and that has been my only defence against a nasty evil hateful ex. The truth prevailed and finally i have hope in the justice system will work for fathers.

That's great news, really glad it all went so well for you

that's great news for you, its a shame you can't see your littlun before the final hearing, this is where I get miffed with the exes that could happily let you have access but choose not too, be patient 🙂

That's excellent news, well done 🙂

Fantastic Dad-i-Dad

I'm so pleased for you 😀 i really am!

Your so close to being there now and with any luck you will be seeing your little boy. Thats all that matters i'm sure!

I have to say that the Judge kept reminding the ex and her Barrister that he would be making the judgement that contact would be ordered at the final hearing so thats my focus now.

The Judge has reserved this hearing for himself, i was so pleased when i heard that, it must be very good for me, he already has a feel for the case and has seen the lies that the ex has tried and failed to get past him, so i'm really happy and feel very positive for the first time in 13months.

Thanks for all the advice over the months guys.

i have one last thing to ask, i have been told to prepare an amended statement for the final hearing, i'm not sure what i really need to add apart from the result of the finding of fact hearing and the Judges comments? any help is greatfully received here.

i've found this site invaluable in partly in knowing that i'm not the only one going through this, but in hearing other fathers stories (which are heart wrenching) but the advice and experiences you have had has helped me with questions and answers to things i didn't really understand or know much about.
Also having somewhere to vent off steam and ask questions has been a great tool for me personally, i was really struggling with this these last 6 months thinking that there was no chance for a father in the courts.

Hi

Getting your case back in front of the same judge is a definite bonus - he knows the case, and he knows what tricks your ex tries to get up to. To be honest, when your ex started telling the truth, there wasn't a lot her barrister could do - he can't tell her to lie, and telling her to say nothing would have been damaging anyway as the judge would have insisted on answers.

I would think that either yoji or CCLC would be best to help you with the amended statement, but it's all looking very positive. Excellent work.

Hi Dad-i-Dad,

If you are looking to do an ammended statement then all you do is that provided nothing has changed from your original position statement is include a page detailing the information that has been discussed in this hearing you've had most recently.

This page needs to be Completed ideally in bold text to highlight it as an addition.

I would start this additional page/pages with:

Following Results of Hearing Dated [DATE]
Bullet points relating to each of the evidence that was untrue i.e. [EX's NAME] agreed that [incident] did not occur.
Next bullet point [in relation to incident] on [date] this was agreed by [EX's NAME] did not occur
And so on.

You will also need to put a final bullet point at the end to say:
- Following the hearing it is expected that Contact will be going ahead and that [EX's NAME] to discuss with Barrister and myself what proposals should be relating to contact

To re-submit your position statement you will need to include on the cover under [Statement of Your Name] the following: Ammended on [DATE] as per Order of [Date Judge made the order you ammend the document]

Hope this helps 🙂

Thank you for your help Yoji

Following my court victory last Friday I can now report that my evil ex has done a complete U-turn….

I received a phone call and email confirmation from her solicitors that my ex will not contest contact and is now willing to allow me contact with my little boy this Sunday!!! WOW

After just a year of fighting in court and not seeing my little boy because ‘she says so’ I have now the opportunity to spend a couple of hours with my little boy at a playzone without her being anywhere near and with only her new partner bringing my boy to see me.
I know its not the full contact I wanted but after not seeing me for a year it has to be what’s best for him now and I think that a couple of hours a week until the final hearing in Jan/Feb has got to be a good thing for him to get used to seeing me again. Hopefully by then she will increase the contact in line with what I will be asking in court at the final hearing which she won’t be contesting the contact.

All in all provided contact takes place and goes well on Sunday I feel it could be the best xmas pressie I’ve eve had……but I’m not going to let myself get carried away just yet…it hasn’t happened yet!

The dark days seem a lot brighter………fingers crossed they continue.

That's excellent news.

I will add a word of caution - I would suspect that the only reason that your ex has had this u-turn is because her solicitor has told her it would look very bad for her in court at the next hearing if she doesn't, rather than any other altruistic motive. It hopefully won't make any difference to the next hearing, but it's best to be prepared for any last minute restrictions she may try to add. The best thing you can do (which I have no doubt you will do anyway) is to have the best possible time with your boy so that you can ask to extend contact as much as possible, knowing that your son wants the same 🙂

Feel very good for they way it's all gone.

Well i saw my little boy on the 18th Dec......on the 24 i was instructed to hand his Christmas presents to my ex's new partner and my son wouldn't be there as they still want Christmas presents to be sent by Santa only! i agreed (have held a couple back for when i see him next so he knows that Santa left some for me to give him)
i was told i'd be informed when i would see him next.....well i contacted them 26th and 27th before they responded, telling me maybe the 30th as he'd had a cough and cold but they'd let me know for deffinte on the evening of 29th! well again i had to contact them to find out if i was going to see my son the following day as they'd told me.....after a few messages i was told no.

i have now be speaking to her solicitor who is now saying that contact is still being offered but as my son had had a cold that is the reason they said no for the 30th....so from the 24th he'd had a cold....Ok i get that.....however knowing how my ex has worked this in the past (which is why i took legal action) my son always seems to be poorly when it was my days with him!

I've told her solicitor i want everything in writing and a schedule in place so we can all make our plans.....me hanging around all last week just to get a couple of hours with my con cost me a relationship i had....i'd only been sseing the woman a few weeks but she couldn't cope with me not making firm plans with her during my week off work!

Anyway i think i'm babbling on now so i'll get my [censored] back to work.

finally i want to wish all of you going through tough times a better 2012......and to the people who have offered their wisdom and words of support to me this last year a big heartfelt thank you.

Dad-i-d