[Solved] I want to establish proper contact

Hi Svemirko,

Welcome to the site. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Unfortunately it's not uncommon and most dad's using the site have had similar experiences. So you're not alone!

Could you let me have a little more information? How old is your son? Does your name appear on his birth certificate?

FM '70

hya filmmaker,

Thank you so much for your reply. My son is 2 years old now and carries my surname on birth certificate. I wasn't married to my partner, we were living as partners (decided to buy flat instead to marry). We own flat together, which is making my situation worse, as I have to cover all the bills until I sell it probably.

Hi smevirko,

You have Parental Responsibility.

You could always recommend to your ex that you want to establish a proper contact routine:

Example:
Friday 6pm until Sunday at noon
Plus when you book holiday time
Birthdays/Christmas/Family Occasions

Speak with her about having this as an agreement, and have it as something that you both sign that agrees the contact down on paper. As FM says, it is a very very common situation, and i'll go out on a limb and say she will refuse to do this "at least for now". If that happens you have a few steps you could take:

i) Tell her that if she doesn't agree to it then you will certainly be taking it through the Courts.
ii) Recommend mediation and set a 2-3month time frame to reach an agreement*. This will likely hold between 4-6 sessions (held once fortnightly)

Note: * Mediation can cost from £75+VAT up to over £150.00 for the hour. Equally, once Courts become involved, there is the expectation that Mediation will happen

For now, i would try and raise it as a discussion and put your recommendations for Contact, and she does hers and see if you can meet in the middle. If she does refuse, its

Since your child was born after 1st December 2003 and you are on the birth certificate, you already have Parental Responsibility (PR).

However, that is a separate issue to contact, which is what is being limited by your ex. You need to look at mediation to see if you can come to an agreement about this, and if not, then you are looking at applying for a contact order. You will need to do this at a court local to your ex. Yoji (another Dad who uses the site) has written a great guide for representing yourself in these matters and many dad's are taking this option to avoid the costs of involving a solicitor.

You can also obtain free guidance and advice from the Coram Children's Legal Centre. There's a link to their website at the foot of this page.

Clearly the geographical distance is going to be a factor for mid week contact, but I don't think it's unreasonable to expect overnight contact on a weekend. Or alternate weekends for that matter. You should also consider alternate bank holidays and school holidays (when your son attends school). I would also suggest that you ask for telephone or Skype contact mid week.

Your travel costs can also be factored into your maintanence payments. I think you're only expected to pay the first £15 towards the weekly costs of travelling to and from contact. The remainder can be deducted from your maintanence payments.

FM '70

Wow, Filmmaker, you are giving me hope. I am really grateful for this.
As one of the reasons for her to be present on our meetings with my boy is that I am unstable. I have to confess that I was on verge of breakdown when she left me. I never believed that she could do something like that and also use child as weapon to dictate rules. 2 months ago we were OK and were planing to buy rest of the flat, looked to everybody like happy, struggling family. Just in one night, she leaves her job, txted me that she is leaving me and taking child with her. It was such shock for me that it took me a month to sort myself out and avoid doctors pills, thanks mainly to friends and family.
Now, I just want to see my boy and spend quality time with him. This guidance from you, Filmmaker, is worth of gold for me.

Do you maybe have link to Yoji guide?

Hi Svemirko,

Yoji's guide sits at the top of the Legal Eagle forum and is entitled, 'Guide To representing Yourself In Court".

I'm sorry to hear that the split took an emotional toll on you. Losing your family with little warning is an awful experience and it's understandable that you may have become down or depressed. But you did the right thing, you surrounded yourself with people that love you and sorted yourself out.

You mention that things were OK up until a couple of months ago. What changed? Have you ever had depression before? Is there anything she may bring up to justify her actions? Your ex may well argue that she is only allowing supervised contact, because she has concerns about your emotional state. However unless there has been a signficant incident that you haven't mentioned, I would press ahead and pursue mediation.

If she rejects mediation then you'll need to apply for a court order. If that's the case, then you'll find lots of of support and encouragement from the Dad's on here!

FM '70

Filmaker, I wish I can give you a hug, thank you so much. Forgive me for honesty, but this means a lot for me.

I did find guide and printed it out.

I am not sure what changed, but some professional people think it might be case of post natal depression that was hidden and came out year after. 2 weeks prior to her leaving I was having strange case of my boy showing attachment to me. He would wake up in middle of night and cry out for me. I remember being woken up several times in the night with him screaming for me (daddy, daddy) or him walking to my side of bed and touching my hand and calling for me. I would then bring him back to bed and put him asleep. Sometimes, i would fall asleep next to him, which used to make angry his mum and she used to comment loudly: "this is all because your dad allows you everything". I used to work 4 days a week, sometimes 10 or 12 hours a day and take care of him other 3 days, while my ex was working. It was specially hard for me those last 2 weeks, as I was working a lot and having sleepless nights cos my boy used to wake me up twice or three times a night. The day she left, I had argument with 02 customer service, cos they were winding me up with silly security questions. She was appalled the way I spoke to them and find it aggressive. Next thing after that, I got txt message at work that she is leaving me and taking our boy. That's how sudden it was, I didn't had chance to apologize or rectify any of my mistakes.
Thats how weird all this is.
regards,
Svemirko

Hi Svemirko,

It does appear that she hasn't given you any real reason as to why she's gone, but her actions do appear extreme and unreasonable. Trust me, you are not alone in this experience.

I agree with what Yoji has already advised and suggest that you explore mediation as a way of resolving your issues - simply because a court will expect you to have tried this option and will be keen for this to happen. It also demonstrates that you're willing to be reasonable and only see the court as a last resort. So offer this to her, but make it clear that if she's not prepared to entertain the idea you will have no other option than to take this to the courts.

Always be calm and reasonable; don't fall into the trap of loosing your cool. Keep a diary and start documenting everything. Keep all text messages, all emails and make notes of conversations. If this does go to court, it's best to have documentation to back up what you're saying.

Hopefully you can resolve this between yourselves. Please let us know how you get on and if you need any advice or just want to vent your frustration, you'll always find some support here 🙂

FM '70

Hi Svermiko

One thing I would ask - do you think there is any possibility that the relationship could be saved? If so it might be worth having a word with Relate - there is a link to them at the bottom of the site.

Hello,
I am not leaving possibility of saving relationship, but last time I spoke, she was adamant to pursue life as single mother. I know about Relate and wouldn't mind using them, but now is the case to bring her back to table, to use mediation. And Courts if that doesn't work. I followed some advice's from this site and now waiting for her reply. Will keep you informed.

Thank you so much.

Svemirko

Hello,
It has been 50 days since I haven't seen my boy and my ex is not allowing visits or video contact. I am totally frozen from seeing or knowing anything about child. By the end of the week I have to decide to take her to court or not. I have already approached a solicitor. I wanted to ask for advice, if my case goes to court, what are my chances of seeing my boy while court procedures last? I have been told it can take up to 2 months for court to deal with case and I am worried that for all this time I wouldn't be able to see my boy, that he will forget me.

Hi Svemirko,

Firstly, I'm sorry that there's been little progress with the mother. Secondly, your little boy will not forget you. I went nearly three months without seeing my little one and our relationship is better than ever. It's a horrible situation, but you must be strong and focuss on the fact that you want to see your son.

I'm assuming you have tried to coax her into mediation, but she has said no? You really need to apply to the court immediately for a contact order. Yes it can take up to 8-9 weeks to get a provisional date, but you don't have much of a choice and I would imagine that a court would award you an interim contact order at your initial hearing until matters are resolved.

The court may order that you both attempt mediation, in which case you must ask that any agreement that you come to is taken back to court and enshrined within a court order. This means that if your ex becomes obstructive over contact and breaks your agreement, you have the option of going back to court to have it enforced.

You can, and will, get through this!

FM '70

I am finding difficult to understand that I have to keep paying child maintenance and my ex still can refuse me visits. Plus, most of the stories I read are talking about resident parent freezing out non-resident parent even after court rules. I am so desperate to see him that i would drive right now and knock on door, just to ask her to let me see him. Bizarrely, my ex is listing as reason of refusal to see my boy is that I have found out where they live?!? To find that, it is not against the law? I have to know where my boy lives, it is my obligation as father, isn't it?
I did try to coax her into mediation, but no luck. She basically ignored that and is now waiting for legal aid to be approved for her. How does interim contact order usually works? Will I be able to see my boy on daily basis or just for an hour?

Thank you so much for help.

Don't dwell on the negative stories. For every bad story there are dozens more that have positive outcomes, which we just don't hear about them as much.

How far away does she live from you? How did you discover where your ex partner was living? I agree that you have a right to know the whereabouts of your son, but I would suggest that you keep your distance and not do anything that your ex can use against you.

As she continues to block contact and has ignored your offer of mediation, you have no other choice than to make an application for a contact order. Can I ask why you haven't already done this?

A court will want to re-establish contact between you and your son. They will look to put an interim order in place, but depending on what grounds your ex is giving to justify withholding contact it's difficult to advise on what level of contact you can expect. Worse case scenario is that she says she has concerns about his welfare, which means the court will play it safe and it is likely that you will have to have supervised contact for a limited period. Once the court are satisfied that there no issues they will look to increase the level of contact and build towards overnight stays.

What are her reasons for withholding contact? What has your solicitor advised?

She moved to Suffolk from London, about 100 miles from me. At first we organised some sort of contact, but she was insisting being present on them and for them to be in bars, playgrounds and beach of her town. Not in her new place or her family home or our flat in London. I couldn't behave properly and be myself when she was around. Her presence really puts me down and there were practical problems, like me arriving in her town by 1 o'clock and being with my boy until 4, just for 3 hours, instead 9 to 6 like we organised. I found out her address from Playgroup, I tricked member of staff to give me.
My problem is that I am missing my boy and I am coping with urges to go and see him. The only thing that is stopping me is that mainly everybody is advising me to stay home and not to do anything that can be used against me. I had some communication with her 5 weeks ago and was hoping for some outcome, but nothing happened. In her email she promised me to have video contact with our boy, that didn't happened and I also got blocked from Facebook at same time, resulting in friends sending me pictures of our boy and comments she makes there. For last 4 weeks she was telling me I will hear from her solicitor, but nothing has happened so far. So I contacted solicitor and gave her 7 days to sort some contact or we will go to courts. Today is final day and so far no responses from her, even though I sent her email begging her to reconsider and allow me to see our boy.
My ex is claiming emotional abuse from me, listing all kinds of examples from shouting at her to having bad table manners, what I find so bizarre. She never mentioned to me that she is afraid of me being with our boy or that I might hurt him.
I am worried about her mental state and this adds to my anxiety. Two weeks before she left me suddenly, our boy was showing attachment to me, waking up in middle of night and calling for me or walking into our bedroom and waking me up, wanting me to put him asleep again. That lasted for 2 weeks and try to imagine how it was to go to work and have sleepless nights. Her behaviour towards me changed in those weeks, started with making comments like "this is all because dad gives you everything" and then staying with him in his room, while he was crying for me and forcing him to get used to her. I am still having nightmares of that night, when he was crying for hour for me, closed in room with his mum and I had to listen to that from living room. He only calm down when I walked in room, after I couldn't bear his screams any more. Next week she lives me, while I was at work, taking our child and leaving everything, flat, job, friends...
It took me some time to recover from all these.

Hi Svemirko,

I think it's only natural to want to see your son, but your friends are right when they say that you shouldn't do anything that your ex may be able to use against you. I know it's horrible, but this is how it has to be for now. You certainly don't have to apologise for having been angry, upset or depressed about losing contact with your family. It's a truly terrible experience.

You should instruct your solicitor to apply for a contact or residency order, which will have to be filed at a court nearest to your ex. The residency order would be more difficult to obtain, because the courts are unlikely to remove your son from his mother unless there is a genuine welfare risk. However if you were to look at a shared residency arrangement you may have more success. This is essentially a court order that recognises that although your son lives with the mother for the majority of time, he also has a second home with you.

The mother has put a significant distance between you and your son, so you need to think about realistic and practical forms of contact. If you want daily contact with your son this is more likely to happen via telephone or Skype. You can expect to get regular overnight contact at weekends, usually alternate weekends. However you want to make sure that you can have extended weekend contact over bank holidays or other special occasions. You also need to think about holidays and how things like birthdays and christmas are going to work. I know it's horrible to have to think in these terms, but this is how things are going to be in the immediate future.

It may be that you consider relocating yourself, so that you can be nearer. However I would wait and see how established the mother is in her new area. You don't want to relocate only to discover that she's going to move again.

Stay strong and keep focussed on your goal - being with your son!

FM '70

Hello Filmmaker,

I need to thank you for guidance so far. Thanks to you and my solicitor I haven't gone mad and made situation more worse.

On 31st of October I will have court case. That is Halloween day and my sanity tells me that on that day it will be proven if I am witch or not. Since our last messaging, my ex have served me with non-molestation order preventing me to contact her and child and I had to find solicitor to help me with case. I cannot believe what I am going through. This case has so much resemblance of court cases in medieval England, stories of witch hunt. I have lost contact with my child 6 months ago and so far I have seen him 6 times, only for 3 hours a day. I couldn't see him on my birthday as my ex and her solicitor have said "our client is simply unable to facilitate contact on that day, this request was at short notice" (request was given 5 days before). To make things worse, through solicitors we established twice a week, 10 min skype contact and first day of video link was, guess...my birthday. So, if it is dads birthday and he would like to see his son on that day, it won't be possible, but it would be possible if it is not dads birthday. What happened is, due to fax from my ex solicitor, my friends decided to take me out and celebrate with me and when I came back home later on, i found out that my ex was calling me on Skype.

Then this sentence from Non molestation application, a picture I have attached here. "Applicant mother has parental responsibility for one child as she is biological mother, The respondent father has parental responsibility as he is named on birth certificate"!!!
How mad is this system? Should I now expect that biological mother will put down application to court that I be removed from Birth certificate even though I am biological father of our child?

Nobody, except here (and now my solicitor) have heard my story in last 6 months, since we separated. I am labelled as emotional abuser by my ex and that is main reason why she is keeping me away from child. We didn't have police coming to our house nor reports to council about arguments or noise. For that I am punished that I haven't seen our boy for 70 days, couldn't see him on my birthday and been given visiting rights of 3 hours every second Friday.

One thing you are so right. Even with this 3 hours every second Friday, my bond with child is growing so stronger. There is something magical happening here, where I get 3 kisses on the screen when my boy sees me on Skype, when I arrive to grandma house, he run to front door and shouts "Daddy, daddy". I travel for 100 miles to see him, 2.5 hours in one way, then 3 hours in grandma garden to play with him and where we even have together meal (usually grapes and sandwich I make for him, salmon and boiled egg) and then drive back 2.5 hours to London. It is very hard, but it is worthy believe me, his smile heals everything. It is separation from him that keeps me awake at night and making restless. I have been through such [censored] that I am thinking of healing after court case, this fight won't be over yet.

Thank you once again, Mr Filmmaker for all your support and kind words. If this works out, you have helped to save one boys life. I am still confused will court take away child from me and even with all this obstacles I have experienced so far, let me put this in my words. They will judge me on Halloween day, I will be judged as witch were, but one thing is for sure, I am passionate about sea and I am into scuba diving and free diving. I can hold my breath for 2.5 min, so let it be.

please, forgive me for little bit of this madness on the end, sometimes it balances all the feelings.

Hi
just want to say good luck for the 31st, you have been through a lot, but like you said seeing your little boy and him calling you Daddy is worth the fight. Im a bit confused to the remark on the form its very odd indeed. please let us know how you get on, My son is waiting for his court date.

Hi Svemirko,

Don't worry. The court will not take your son from you. You will have contact, but clearly it will be limited due to the geographical distance the mother has put between you both. However you should be able ask for overnight contact.

As a matter of interest, when was the non-molestation order served? Prior to your court application or after? I wouldn't be overly concerned, but don't play into your ex's hands by doing anything silly. Contact with your son is far too important. What reasons has your ex given to justify the NM order?

Good luck for next week. Stay positive and stay calm. Let your solicitor guide you through the process. Are you happy with your solicitor?

FM'70

AK57,

I honestly wish you all the luck with getting a date. I wish I can give you some support, but right now I am Buddha who is keeping peace for final day...There should be light at the end of tunnel.

hello Filmaker,

So good to hear from you. Non molestation order was served on 02nd of august 2012, out of blue. I was already frozen, didn't hear anything from my boy and even contacts to her family were getting without any result. I approached Royds solicitors for help and they suggested to send my ex letter, warning her that if she doesn't allow contact, I will take her to court. In same week when I was about to approve letter to be sent to her, I was served with non-molestation order, totally by surprise. It got clear to me why everybody was keeping quiet.
Since all this happened, I have kept conversation with my-ex only through email or phone text. When I received NM order, I was in shock for weeks what has been listed and ironically, my ex is stating that I kept emotionally abusing her after our split. Thanks to your and many people advice, I have kept record of conversations and they clearly show that I was asking her to establish contact with our boy, quite politely and no rude words. But her witness statement list a lot of untrue facts and is showing her quite unstable. This concerns me a lot, as my boy said in one visit: "N.... don't cry, N... is happy". I know kids can misinterpret things, but when you are totally frozen from his life, anything can come to your mind.
Right now, I have been served with bill for this court procedure and this is another nightmare upon my door. It is huge and also, I have found out I will have counsel with me on the court, not original solicitor who was with me all this time. Counsel fee on the day of the court carries half of my invoice.
Do you know is there anything or any body that can help me financially. Even if I win this case, I might end up giving all as I won't be able to afford to travel to see my boy?

Unfortunately if you don't qualify for Legal Aid there isn't any other form of financial support available. This is why a lot of dad's choose to represent themselves now.

I have been thinking that as well...but I do not have any experience in the law and is it too late now to try?

You always have the option of self representation. However I'm not sure if it would be prudent to make this change so close to your first hearing date?

Yoji, one of the other dad's on the site, drafted a really useful and comprehensive Guide to Self Representation. You can find it at the top of the Legal Eagle forum.

You can also obtain free Legal Advice from the Coram Children's Legal Centre (CCLC). There's a link to their website at the foot of the page, but they can't technically offer any assistance if you already have legal representation.

Hello,
Court has happened and I now got more time with my boy. 7 hours every Saturday in month, it is pain to drive 100 miles one way, but my boy smile makes it up for everything. Next hearing is organised in February and I will have my boy staying overnight for Boxing day, something I was waiting for 9 months

Did anybody had case like mine, where non-molestation order is based on quite a lot of lies. I noticed that solicitor of my ex is stating in her application that she has been physically attacked (when there is no mentioning in her witness statement of such incidents), as well as mentally, psychologically and emotionally and my boy psychologically and emotionally (something what is shocking and behaviour of my boy is a way from that)?

Is there body that regulates this? I am shocked that court gave order based on fabrication of facts? I explained same to my Barrister and they readjusted order, not cancelled it, what was more shocking?

I believe this is what is happening to me:
http://davidgaleukip.wordpress.com/2012/11/12/kids-for-cash-court-scandal/

svemirko

Hi Thank you for the update, so pleased you are seeing him every Saturday and you have Boxing Day overnight. I agree it’s so wrong for the mother to throw accusations that are untrue and get believed, what a joke . My sons ex is playing a strange game, she will no longer face us when we pick up or drop off , she sends a friend or last time a so called family friend which she had only just met, the situation is tense, roll on Thursday !!

My ex decided to go against what she agreed on court (that she will go abroad with me so our child can see my mum, his grandmother) and now she changed her mind and doesn't wana go. Not sure what court can do about that.

I found out great information and guidance in this book:
Celia Conrad - Fathers Matter. ( http://www.fathersmatter.com/) It is such great read and inspiration for every father who is going through child separation and courts. Helped me a lot on my first court date.

On the other side, sometimes helps good movie, like Taken for example, nice pizza and glass of wine.

How come they gave you boxing day night but you have to wait till feb to get overnight

I don't know, I did wondered same! I guess it is the way courts slowly prepare things. My biggest worry is if they will continue with court cases, I don't think I could go through another one after February. I am preparing to represent myself and if court decide to go with another court appearance, I simply don't know what to do, it will ruin me financially.

did you go through same?

worth of read:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1234186/Bob-Geldof-accuses-barbaric-family-courts-kidnapping-children-fathers.html

Hello, I am looking for advice.
I am waiting for second round of court hearing in February where I am fighting for overnight stay with my boy of almost 3 year. This is important to me and it is what I am fighting for. My ex is at same time launching another court case where she is forcing me to sell the flat where I am living now and where our child will come to stay over night. We were not married and this is shared housing association deal. Can she force me to sell it? She was the one that moved out suddenly and left me with all bills to cover.

I would contact the citizens advice bureau, and also the housing association to get advice on whether she can force you to sell.

hi read though all your posts im in same place as u was she has started to accuse me of domestic abuse with no prove wot so ever all i want is to see kids for few hours she left me out of the blue would not talk to me wish i knew why she went from loving me to hating me overnight i put it down to a new friend that came in to her life about 4 months ago will a judge go with her about domestic stuff not not

chriskids, thank you for getting in touch. This site helped me to cope with all this nightmares and I would like to help you as much as I can. How old are your kids?
My ex have, with great help from her solicitor issued me with non-molestation order without my knowledge at all. I was just one day served with court papers telling me I am not allowed to get in touch with her, speak to her or intimidate her in any way. Plus, I was told to appear in front of court in 3 months time. When I checked all papers, specially non-application order application, I was shocked how much my-ex solicitor fabricated story in order to get that non - molestation order out. It was all ticking boxes, I was physically abusing my ex partner (that box was ticked) when there was no mentioning of any physical abuse in my ex witness statement. My child was mentally and physiologically abused (that was ticked), when he is kissing screen of monitor every time we have Skype talk. I cannot explain to what nightmares that non molestation order caused to me.
Now, on second hearing in month of time, I am fighting for that non-molestation order to be taken out. My ex was approached by my solicitors after first hearing to take down that NM order voluntarily, but she is not even giving answer back to her solicitors since Nov 2012.
Have everything recorded or written, every conversation you have, weather on txt or email. This is the best advice given to me and I would like to say to you same.
And hold on...

hi my kids are 7 and 4 she had a letter sent to me say if i dont stop contacting her she will get a injunction against me have not had any court orders as yet but there still plenty of time lol cant believe how some1 so nice can turn like she has did it go against u in court i just will not even try to contact her or her family again just go though the courts got 2 kids from another splitt i had 10 years ago and see them every other weekend and most holidays

Yup, mine was similar. I wanted to be with my boy of 2.5 years now, when she has gone, but more I was asking for contact, more she was denying. At that time, I was missing him so much that I was going mental and of course, trying to bring some sense in her. Even now, it is unbelievable for me a fact that one mother can refuse her child to see his dad for bizarre reasons, but this is reality.
My first hearing bought me good results. My boy mum have offered only 2 hours every second Friday, that's before first hearing, and after I was given every 3 Saturdays in month with Boxing day overnight stay. That was such sudden change.
I didn't have no choice but go through solicitors. It has been 10 months since all this happened and I am still not half way through. I know I have to stay positive and hope for good. Seems to me going through courts is the only option for you. She would have to agree on mediation, but seems to me she is not ready yet.

hello, just to inform you that I went through second hearing and this time things are looking much better. Court has given me overnight stay for another 4 months until final hearing and they discharged non- molestation order I was given. Small steps towards one child future, he will have his dad.

I have been also recognised as non resident parent by the court and I am trying to write letter to nursery he is attending to provide me with details of his time there. First attempt, to speak to manager on the phone was without any luck, manager directed me to speak to my boy's mum. Can anybody advice me how to persuade manager from nursery to send me some information about my boy progress in their nursery?

hi wot did u get in first hearing still waiting for mine

General principles for schools and Nurserys
Everyone who is a parent, (whether they are a resident or non-resident parent) has a right to participate in decisions about a child's education and receive information about the child (even though, for day-to-day purposes, the school's main contact is likely to be a parent with whom the child lives on school days).

School and LA staff must treat all parents equally, unless there is a court order limiting an individual's exercise of parental responsibility. Individuals who have parental responsibility for, or care of, a child have the same rights as natural parents, for example

•to receive information, e.g. pupil reports
•to participate in activities, e.g. vote in elections for parent governors
•to be asked to give consent, e.g. to the child taking part in school trips
•to be informed about meetings involving the child, e.g. a governors' meeting on the child's exclusion.
Where a parent's action, or proposed action, conflicts with the school's ability to act in the child's best interests, the school should try to resolve the problem with that parent but avoid becoming involved in conflict.Definition of parent
Section 576 of the Education Act 1996 defines 'parent' as

•all natural parents, whether they are married or not
•any person who, although not a natural parent, has parental responsibility for a child or young person
•any person who, although not a natural parent, has care of a child or young person (having care of a child or young person means that a person with whom the child lives and who looks after the child, irrespective of what their relationship is with the child, is considered to be a parent in education law).

Hi heres a template just adjust to your requirements
Date

[Your address]

Dear [name],

I am writing in relation to our children [names of children].

I would like to be kept informed of any issues relating to our children's education, including:*
- Having a chance to read their school reports
- Being informed in advance so that I might attend parent evenings / prize giving events
- Being informed in advance so that I might attend any performances such as music concerts / school plays and any sports matches
- Having a chance to discuss in advance any subject choices with our children
- Having a chance to discuss with you any potential change of school

I would also like to be on our children's emergency contact list so that in the event the school cannot get hold of you for any reason, I can be contacted. I would then of course contact you to keep you informed of any emergency situation.

If you would like to discuss any of the above matters, then please do not hesitate to contact me at the above address or via email at {your email].

Kind regards,

[signature]

Hello,
Chriskids, on my first hearing I received much better contact then my son mother allowed. She allowed me to see him every alternate Friday for 2 hours and after first hearing, court ruled that I see him alternate Saturdays from 10am to 17.30pm and I have been given overnight stay for Boxing Day which was the most amazing experience in my life. My boy didn't forget anything from our time together and that was such shock for me.

AK57, thank you for this. I think this is gona work. I will scan birth certificate as well and send over with cover letter as well.