Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Long time since i posted not alot has happened still dont know if its best to agree to a family assistance order i dont know if i go along if they will just make me do more parent courses or more therapy weather il get a good social worker weather any if this will make a difference ive dont cbt about 12 times in my life and the court are trying to make out that cbt will make my ex see that im addressing my obsessive behaviour even tho im just ringing round different ppl trying to do all i can to see my child i keep thinking shoukd i just write something saying 10 years in court on n off has to stop so i will take indirect contact till child wishes but then im not sure cause child say child would come to contact if mum or gran where there but then mum still saying child dont want contact and then cafcass saying my indirect contact going really good but when it comes down to it my ex is really out to just not budge and delay and shes getting away with it and court do nothing and in court room im fighting judge ex and cafcass cause what ever lies ex makes up they believe and then i think im not gonna agree to cbt ir family assustance because i dont need cbt its proved on my record im always gonna hace some mental health problems but not enough to stop me having contact and says i have good relationship and can meet all childs needs and really tho what is the point of a family assistance order they can make ex listen and have less power then court and if i did agree and it didnt work family assistance order then id have to make a fresh application to court but most of all what all this us doing to my child and i dont want cafcass or who ever to be involved in childs life but all this has to come to an end and i think it will only come to an end when my child reaches a age where child can turn round to mum n say i wanna see my dad and realises that mother has been guilt trippjng child making child feel like child cant show effection or love towards dad because child is scared and afraid to upset mum .so due in court end of feb having to travel leeds to see cafcass again but im just so messed up of what to do and what ever i decide to do is so tough i feel broken most of all i wish i could hug my child and tell child how much i love them
If cafcass think that indirect contact is going well, are they not prepared to agree to supervised contact in a contact centre as a next step?
If cafcass think that indirect contact is going well, are they not prepared to agree to supervised contact in a contact centre as a next step?
no mate all contact has now stopped as the said because child is 11 the child knows there own mind so indirect contact once a year
That is my worst fear which time is running out on me for.....my child's alleged wishes and feelings being taken as true rather than them being brainwashed and coerced in to saying things by the ex.
until the child gets the full story and truth i.e. both side of the story and they are old enough to understand then they will align themselves with the "parent with care"......and there's not a dam thing anyone can do about it untill the "parent with care" stops with the lies, wakes up and tells them the truth!
until then all you can do is hope that one day your child will work it out and come find you.
very difficult to accept but if you don't it'll destroy your whole life.
Ask yourself why you hear so many stories of alleged "dead beat dads" walking away from their kids....then see what you're going through and understand that maybe many were not as strong as you or had to stop and walk to save themselves.
i'm at that crossroads in my battle....this next few weeks and few months will decide what options i have left.
Battle on.....seek help for the stress / depression (whatever you prefer to call it.....) but don't bottle it up!
i cannot offer you a ladder to help you climb out of your whole but i can jump in and tell you how i got out
I had mental health problems for a while and went on a bit of a rampage, destroyed relationships with family and friends as i was diagnosed with an incurable illness and was just left hanging by the nhs, then my ex kicked me in the nuts and stopped me seeing my child citing all kinds of [censored]
I was offered cbt and thought "ffs here we go again" but i went and didn't say much for 1st few sessions but then i thought to myself "how much do i wanna be better and see my son"
So i knuckled down on the cbt, i wrote things down that were in my head and i re-read them to understand what was important and what wasn't important, i used an app called headspace which was amazing and i work with mindset and its made an improvement, i still have [censored] days but i cope with them so much better now
I know its a hard and long process buddy but you got to do what the court ask and get the cbt people to do a letter after some treatment to show you are trying....will work a million for you
send me a pm if ya ever wanna chat bud 🙂
I think if you're being offered a Family Assistance Order, take it. Unless you're at a point where you want to completely walk away, at least you would be doing something.
What stage are you at in your court proceedings now?
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.