Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi,
Looking for a bit of advice if anyone knows about this.
I've edited the extra long original post and made it more to the point. If you want extra details, just ask.
Over the last four years, my ex has been recording my daughter's name as her own surname and telling my daughter that's what it is. My daughter has my name on the birth certificate, which I have, and then I signed a deed poll my ex applied for to double-barrel my daughter's name with both of our surnames. I am trying to correct everywhere my daughter's surname is recorded incorrectly as I believe it's dangerous, but also damaging to my daughter's emotional wellbeing as she's really distressed by it,, but my ex won't even show me, let alone let me borrow her only copy of the original deed poll document (she never archived it, and won't let me do it, which means I can't get a copy myself). I haven't seen it since I signed it four years ago. For all I know she's lost it or destroyed it, and without it I can't correct my daughter's name. I'm not sure what to do.
Any advice or just thoughts would be hugely appreciated 🙂
This may help
http://www.deedpoll.org.uk/ObtainingCopyLostDeedPoll.html
I draw your attention to section 3
Thanks. Unfortunately, my ex never archived the deed poll, so they can't send me a copy . She can still archive it as they said she paid for that service, but the chances of her doing it are slim if not slimmer. I offered to archive it myself and give her one of the copies they would then send us, but she won't let me do that.
I just spoke to the deed poll service. They said they could send me a replacement copy, but like the original one, both me and my ex would have to sign it with a witness. Again, the chances of her doing that are unlikely. She might surprise me by doing it, but I can't see it happening, and it will cost me money. I'm also not sure if I want to waste time chasing her again to do that. She likes to drag things out as much as possible and will play games and make me run around for ages before she does literally anything to help me or her daughter. She gets off on it, to the point where it becomes twisted.
At the moment, I seem to have three options: get her to archive it herself and then request a copy again (very unlikely to happen, she will probably lie and say she's sent the document off and keep the lie going for as long as she can until I work it out myself and I have to start all over), get a replacement copy and get her to sign it (very very very small chance of that happening, as I expect she will insist she already has a copy and start going on about archiving it herself again - see first option), or get a solicitor.
I am wondering if, in the mean time, I am within my rights, having not seen this document in four years, and her refusing to even show me it, to change my daughter's name back to how it is on the birth certificate, in places it is currently recorded as my ex 's surname, and then if she really has this document, she can go around and change it again to the new double-barrelled name. I'm not trying to be cruel, but I just want to get this sorted, and my ex is currently having a big laugh at me and my daughter's expense. But is this legal?
...just. Reread section 3 and I can see archiving is pivotal... a pity.
I'm not too sure about your suggestion of changing her name back, but wouldn't you need her permission to do that anyway? The only other option you have is mediation and if that fails, then court for a Specific Issue Order.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.