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I need crossed fing...
 
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[Solved] I need crossed fingers

 
(@wishmeluck)
Active Member Registered

Back in court early this week for the third time this year.

Ex stopped contact early this year.. claiming welfare issues. (As they do)

First hearing in May - Cafcass letter was positive. reinstated contact at four hours a week.

Second hearing in July, agreed with the mother to increase it to six hours per week with a view to introducing him to my home and family more.

third hearing is this week.... I'm asking for overnights, there's no way she will agree! What do you think the odds are of moving from 6 hours to overnight? I'm fully expecting a contested hearing to be ordered... any idea how long they take?

thanks :whistle:

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Topic starter Posted : 04/10/2014 8:13 pm
 1626
(@1626)
Noble Member Registered

Hi there, how old is your son? That will have a bearing on a decision about overnight stays, also, if he's older, his wishes maybe taken into account.

If you're both still far apart at this next hearing and the judge orders a fully contested final hearing, it will depend on how many hours the judge feels they will need and then on the court availability for such hearings. In my partner's case, it was listed for a full day and we had to wait 4 months as their court was very busy. He was awarded overnights to start in a week or 2 and their previous arrangement was 6 hours a month at our home and 6 hours a month in his child's hometown (his child is 5).

Even if you are not awarded overnight stays at this hearing hopefully you will at least get some increase on the current arrangement as an interim order.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 05/10/2014 11:30 am
(@wishmeluck)
Active Member Registered

Sorry I should have been more specific. He is 5. Cafcass have already discharged themselves and told the mother to step back and let contact happen (actually told her to grow up, it was brilliant). So cafcass won't be doing a wishes and feelings report, and if they did.. My son begs not to leave and go home every single week so I'm not worried.

We use a contact centre for handovers as she refuses to see me, we have no mutual family or friends. So she doesn't want to increase it past 6 hours as the centre isn't open longer. I've suggested a public place.

I've asked her for alternate Christmas contact too, which she's refusing, so I'm really hoping a judge will see us before then to at least give me some time around Xmas with him! Suppose we'll never know until the day. Her solicitor said they'd get back to me before court but I've heard nothing as usual. At least I see him all day each weekend in the meantime. Way more than the mother ever offered

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 05/10/2014 11:50 am
 1626
(@1626)
Noble Member Registered

Good luck with the hearing and nice to read a positive Cafcass outcome, they are definitely a mixed bag from what we read on here 🙂 5 is more than old enough to start overnight visits.

The fact that she's refusing handovers and you don't have family or friends to assist could be a very good argument for building up to full weekend stays so that you could collect from and return your son to school and not have to deal with one another?

You could also ask the court for a decision about some time over Christmas even if a full hearing is looking likely?

Do you have a solicitor or are you a LIP? If you're self repping, you can telephone Coram Childrens Legal Centre for free advice 🙂

ReplyQuote
Posted : 05/10/2014 12:01 pm
(@wishmeluck)
Active Member Registered

Thanks. I'm LiP for everything except the court hearing - hired a direct access barrister. He's awesome.

Unfortunately he lives 25 miles away, I could never get to his school in time and work. So I'm hoping she's going to compromise. I'm also asking that she do half the travelling, out of 6 hours now we spend 2 hours travelling. It's a sad state as he actually asked me this week if I've ever met his mummy! Poor child. So far her mums been assisting but she's a nasty piece of work.

He has his own room and clothes etc here, he shares at his mums. I hope he enjoys it 😀 I've shown him his bedroom and he was quite happy!! I will definitely mention that to my barrister about Christmas if it ends up contested ! Thank you.

He wants me to start enforcing orders as she breaches them at least 4 times a year with excessive holidays (6 weeks in. Row) or stopping contact , not offering alternative etc!

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 05/10/2014 12:53 pm
 1626
(@1626)
Noble Member Registered

That's great you've got the barrister!

Ah okay, the travel was a problem in my partner's case too and it's such a grey area. He asked for shared travel and the court ordered in his favour. These difficult mums don't seem to appreciate what is best for the child is to move between the parents with smiles and respect, idiots.

If you have orders in place and she breaches them, you should always try to have them enforced otherwise she will just make her own rules up.

Good luck 🙂

ReplyQuote
Posted : 05/10/2014 2:14 pm
(@wishmeluck)
Active Member Registered

So guys!

It went amazingly.

My ex walked in saying 9 hours fortnightly.. (I was already having 6 hours a week??)

It ended up 6 hours of discussions, the judge prompting her solicitor to get this sorted out. We 'agreed' on most things in the end.. a couple a judge made a ruling on. I got most things I wanted.

Overnights start in November. They then go to 2 nights in December. I pick him up Xmas afternoon and have him til the day after boxing day. We're splitting all half terms. I get 2 weeks at summer (asked for 3 knowing i'd get 2). I get a week at easter... And some birthdays. I also get fathers day, she gets mothers day.

The only thing I didn't get is for her to do half the travelling, which I wasn't that bothered about.

It was supposed to be a directions hearing but it seems like it all came to a close. Ex isn't too happy.. She asked the judge to only allow me to take him abroad for one week at a time, judge ordered 2... and she's to give me the passport 2 weeks in advance. Hopefully now she'll calm down and accept it all. I'm sick of the arguing. I'm ECSTATIC right now, busy making his room up properly for him!

Barrister has made it very Clear that I need to enforce any breaches... as it's constantly breached.

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 09/10/2014 2:21 pm
Chimp and Chimp reacted
(@Nannyjane)
Illustrious Member Registered

That's a great result! Well done!

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Posted : 09/10/2014 2:51 pm
 1626
(@1626)
Noble Member Registered

Brilliant 🙂

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Posted : 09/10/2014 5:37 pm
(@Chimp)
Trusted Member Registered

Great news wishmeluck! thank you for letting us know!

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Posted : 09/10/2014 7:23 pm
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