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Hello
I took my ex to court 2.5 years ago for residency, I lost and she got full residency. A lot happened and I got accused of emotionally harming the children. I was only granted supervised contact, for 6 months then would have had to go back to court.
Silly me didn't turn up to the last court hearing (I was very embarrassed by the social work report) and didn't see the children through supervised contact as couldn't afford it.
I haven't been the best at trying to keep contact. I sent a birthday and xmas card the fist year but then stopped as didn't know how they were being received.
I have submitted an application for contact, I can't afford a solicitor so will be representing myself. I feel I am going to get my a** dragged through due to how I have been.
I've heard the children have had to have counciing due to what they went through last time when I failed to keep them and one of the children is now going through assessment for learning disability. They are 11 and 8 so not babies anymore.
What will the process be? Do I stand a chance at seeing them again?
Nobody can answer the question "will I see them".
Your story, to me, doesn't sound as bad as you perhaps think it is. Your honesty does you credit. Use that honesty in Court. Explain the difficulties you had with finances and emotional upset.
With regard to indirect contact, I too stopped sending cards and letters to my stepdaughter after a year or so of hearing nothing back. I stopped because I felt that if the mother was withholding this contact, it would cause problems for the child later in life. If on the other hand, the child was refusing to write back to me, I knew that it would be because she didn't want to upset her mother. So either way that indirect contact was harmful. I feel that's a fairly valid argument.
You clearly want to be a father so you are part way there in this battle. As I said, continue to be honest, don't let barristers or solicitors convince you that you are something you're not - they're good at that and it's hideous.
Good luck.
Hi There,
As said above be honest and take that route throughout, have you already attempted mediation?
Generally this will be required before a court hearing will be scheduled though you may get away without if you have a valid reason i.e your ex won't attend, or there have been historic issues that would stop mediation from being an option.
GTTS
No mediation
This is the 3rd time I've taken her to court.
She has never stopped contact, but I went to prison and Iv always been treated like rubbish because of it.
There is history, lots of it, she's accused me of dv and it's in the old section 7 report. As well as me reporting concerns to ss (took her side again!) apparently being concerned is deemed detrimental to the children! And controlling the the mother
Her solicitor has added on to the court date asking for a section 91 (14) order
So this will be the last chance I get as I won't be able to take it back to court.
The Section 91(14) does not apply to any enforcement proceedings you need to bring at a later date.
It also does NOT stop you going back to Court. It just means you need the permission of the judge to make an application. They call it a barring order but it isn't, it just slows you down.
The odds are stacked against you for sure with the old S7 report and Social Services being unhelpful. But again, use your honesty, demonstrate change in any of the areas you were lacking before.
One other thing - keep your FaceBook profile as clean as a whistle - it will be watched.
One other thing - keep your FaceBook profile as clean as a whistle - it will be watched.
Excellent advice in all circumstances, in my opinion 🙂
Luckily I don't do Facebook haha
Her on the other hand...
Sounds like I have a long fight ahead 🙁
Excellent advice from all above.
I would suggest that when you have your phone interview with Cafcass, you should tell them that you understand how difficult things might have been for the children and that a period of reintroduction might be difficult for them. Speak from their point of view on every issue.
Best of luck
Had a telephone interview with Cafcass
Was terrible, they sound totally against me and said numerous times if I'm sure I want to go through with this!
They wanted to know why I haven't tried to see them, why I did t turn up to last court hearing, why I accused mum of child abuse.
I thought they had to be impartial?
Not being up the past.
Not sure I will follow through with this
You have to overcome the past I’m afraid. In they eyes of cafcass you let these children down - you say that yourself too.
Surely you must agree that it is only right to make sure you are genuine before starting what will be a long and painful process for everyone.
Don’t fall at the first hurdle - you know you have damage to repair. The prize if you manage to do that is being a part of your children’s lives.
we all mess up at some point dont dwell on whats happened in the past make it all about your children having you in their lives for the future, theres brilliant advice above defo follow it and good luck mate!
All the best
Slim
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