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Hi,
I have been paying csa for the past four years, my little boy is nearly six. I have heard that my little boy was fathered by someone else and so did a private dna test with whoz the daddy for peace of mind. The result came back last week that I am not the biological father. I know this test will not stand up in court. My ex is very unreasonable and so I contacted the csa to see where I stand. They told me that they will not do a dna test that would stand up in court to stop csa as I excepted that I was the dad four years ago when the claim started. They told me I could come back for a decision on the money I have paid through csa once I have a legal dna test and they named a company I could use. I contacted the company who told me I would choose a GP to do the test, pay £485 over the phone and then contact my ex to tell her where and when the test would be, it is down to me to contact my ex and ask her to attend. She will not do this and I have been told that she cant be made to do the test. I am paying for a child that I know is not mine and my ex will not do the dna. Please Please help!
Im not sure what to say Dom as I thought if it was proved your not the father then you didnt have to pay.
It sounds fantastical that you can be made to pay as you would think reason stands that you pay for your own and not others, unless of course you want to.
Thinking of the child though, have you had a relationship with the child and do they see you as Dad as I also know someone who was brought up by theyre step father who treated them as theyre own until the marrage ended and they were basicaly abandoned which really affects them to this day.
If you have been kept from the childs life except for financial support then I guess I understand your pov.
Regards,
Dave
I think your first line says it all "My little boy" if he feels that you are his dad and you feel that you are then keep paying I'd say. If you managed to stop paying her do you think you would still get to see him? Would the biological farther want to bring him up?
It must be so hard for you.
...it's a very emotional subject and the only real loser here is the little boy in the middle of it all. The mother should have been honest with you if there had been a doubt about parentage, she wasn't and its likely she will refuse the DNA too in that case. I think there have been cases where the mother has been ordered by the court to agree to DNA testing, I'll see what I can find out about that....
Have you spoken to her about it? More importantly what lies ahead for the little boy? If you have been the only dad he has ever known, then is it right to turn your back on him....I think you have some soul searching to do.
that would be great if you could find out. The mother is very unreasonable and will not allow me to see him. She has recently married and has already encouraged him to call her husband dad. I want to stop paying her but she seems to have all the power. Thanks
What about talking to the new husband, man to man...he might understand the position you are in.
Here's a link to a Fathers Need Families factsheet about paternity law...having had a brief look over it, you can challenge this.
www.fnf.org.uk/law-and-information/paternity-law
It might be a good idea to go along to an FNF branch meeting and talk to them, they will be able to help and advise you and there are quite often legal advisers at the meetings. Here's a link
www.fnf.org.uk/help-and-support/local-branch-meetings
Speaking technically only, as far as I am aware, you can dispute paternity with the CSA. They then ask for a DNA test (which you pay for) and if it proves that you aren't the father, you stop paying from the day you disputed it, and you may get the cost of the DNA test refunded.
So far, nothing new - BUT, I think if the mother refuses the test, then the CSA should accept that you aren't the father and you are no longer liable (unless the mother subsequently takes the test and proves you are the father).
I'd speak to the CSA again, and also go and see your MP as soon as possible.
Hello Mate
I have been through this myself. Now, what you need to do is, file with your nearest Courts a ''Declaration of NON parentage''
Tip: When making the application, make sure you put in the test you already have stating you are NOT the father - this will give you more than enough grounds to get a Court hearing for you and the mother - she will have to attend and if she does not the Courts can order the test to happen even if she does not turn up and comply.
Now, here's the smart bit - you do not need mother to comply with the sampling or the Courts - once the Court has ordered a test to happen - which they will as Parentage by the Courts is taken very seriously for the sake of the child involved - Plus even if mother plays up and does not take the child for sampling - the Court has the power to take the matter out of her hands and get hold of the childs DNA or they will just draw on there own conclusions by the mothers action and grant you a Deceleration saying you are not the father - this you give to CSA and it is job done and they have to accept this AND WILL.......
NOW WHATEVER YOU DO IF YOU DO END UP DOING A TEST - MAKE SURE YOU HAVE YOUR SAMPLING DONE AT YOUR OWN SURGERY AND A DOCTOR THAT KNOWS YOU PERSONALLY AND TAKES YOUR SAMPLE - MOTHER BY THE SOUND OF IT - WILL DO ANYTHING TO PROVE YOUR THE FATHER - DO NOT GO TO HER SURGERY AND DO NOT BE BULLIED BY HER AS SHE HAS NO POWER TO FORCE YOU AND IF SHE TRIES TO GET YOU WITH HER FOR SAMPLING - SHE MAY BE TRYING TO SWITCH YOUR DNA WITH THE REAL FATHER TO PROVE YOUR ARE THE FATHER - AND THEN YOUR FXXXXX - THIS IS WHAT I HAD DONE TO ME OVER 18,000 POUNDS CHILD MAINTENANCE - AND IT WAS A NIGHTMARE TRYING TO GET THE COURTS TO ORDER ANOTHER TEST AS THERE 99.9% POSITIVE - YES IF ITS THE CORRECT PERSONS DNA...........
REMEMBER THE COURT IS ON YOUR SIDE AND ONCE ORDERED THE COURTS WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN WHETHER SHE PLAYS UP OR NOT DOES NOT MATTER - BE VERY VERY CAREFUL L ABOUT YOUR SAMPLE DNA AND DO NOT LET HER BE INVOLVED IN YOUR SAMPLING - TRUST ME I NOW THIS INSIDE OUT.
IF YOU NEED ANY MORE HELP, -PLEASE COME BACK TO ME.
GOOD LUCK AND YOU WILL SORT THIS OUT EASY - FOLLOW THE ABOVE LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU BUDDY.
BEST WISHES
SHAUN
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