[Solved] I am completely lost.

Hi Unkno999. I hope you are ok and getting through these as best you can. Because you have an agreement out of court it is really good, if she would like to start court proceedings tell her this will cost extra on top of the overdraft etc. Court orders cannot be amended without parental consent or if the court feels a different outcome is better. If you can keep it out of court it will be better for everyone to come to a sit down calm agreement.

If you go thru court this forum is very very helpful in self representing. You will not need a solicitor and if your ex goes to court then you can get a fair contact order written up by the Judge with times, days and a fair split in contact. This is good because then she will be in trouble by the judge if she doesn't be at home etc.

You are working very hard and the extra stress is no good. Maybe you can look at the calender for the next 4 weeks and write up email to your ex asking her to confirm to the times and days written, if she is not at home etc when you come to drop the girls back maybe she has a relevant excuse e.g. car breakdown or traffic etc.

Court if she is going to use a solicitor will cost a lot, hopefully you can rest easy knowing you have the support of an entire forum behind you.

All the best

Hi and welcome to the forum

Just to set your mind at rest. If she wanted to take you to court, she would have to invite you to attend mediation first, as this is required before being able to make a court application.

Even if you went to court, a judge cannot force you to take contact that you are unavailable for due to work.

In the eyes of the court, finances and children are two separate issues and would not be dealt with together.

At Mediation you can discuss finances and children, and it might be worth trying to set up so that you can talk to each other and hopefully reach agreement going forward.

You can find details of your closest mediator here:

http://www.nfm.org.uk/

Thank you all for reply.

I have a lots of the problems with her.
I see kids average 3.5 day per week
I pay child maintenance as I should regularly every month. Plus I look after them when she is going alone on holiday

but she become a nightmare in my life

She text me few times per day everyday.She insult me in the messages. she is requesting money nearly for every expenses for girls.
She is coming a front of my house.
Always start fights a front of girls nearly every time when possible. She even kicked my car in kids present.

I have blocked her wherever i could. Now she started to call to my office.

I want to limit contact with her as much is possible but she always find the way.

I feel to move out to different town.

Really I am really tired of her and I cant even image what girls have to feel.

Here's my own personal view and i mean no disrespect

why wouldn't you want more time with the kids? - this is not me having a go, many of us here are fighting to spend time with our kids without restrictions and want more time with them.
i realise you say you work long hours and it would be difficult to fit more time in...i get that...however...do you have family that could look after them while you're at work so that when you get home you have this extra time with the kids?

Here is some "food for thought"....

If you were constantly messaging her and being abusive, threatening, following her, trying to dictate etc... etc... she would be either speaking with the police, womens aid and possibly getting a Non-Molestation order against you.

firstly if she is being a real nightmare, abusive to you in front of the kids and at your work now etc... what do you do? you must remain very calm at all times...no response...no threats or anything....you must stay 100% clean!
she's doing this to get you to react....she's doing this because you have another woman and she doesn't like it.

In my view there are options:

- You could seek mediation - you'll need this anyway if court applications are made with regards to contact order

- Could you seek a non-mol order against her? you sound to me, well within your rights to me to apply for one...however...it may well just agrivate her further and she may then try other things to get back at you....such as...stopping you seeing the kids!

Put it this way.....it is not acceptable for anyone to be abusive or threatening in front of the kids....regardless of gender or whether they are resident parent or not....so why should it be acceptable for the father (typically non-resident parent!) to have to accept it?

I would agree with the non-mol if she is ringing you at work. Keep a record of all of these calls if you can.

Hi there

I can only go with the experience I've had. I have to go with the advise that's been given above. Get mediation. Which is what I did. I was complete opposite my x moved 300 miles away and only wanted me to see my children every other weekend....I wasn't going to let that happen. I packed my job up, moved half an hour away from her, got mediators involved and managed to get shared residency of my children. So they spend one week with her and one week with me.... All this was done without going through the courts, the courts want what's best for the children.

Point this out to her, they aren't going to give her what's best for her or for you, so spending money on going through the courts thinking anything otherwise is foolish. Sit around the table with a mediator and come to an arrangement that's best for the children.