[Solved] I am alienated, please help!

Hi this is my first post and I will try and keep my comments brief as the full story could go on and on!

I have two boys, 11 and 4 with different mums. I have obtained a final contact orders for both of my boys. In relation to my 4 year old, I had gained legal aid and after 3.5 years in court I obtained the order and have contact.

In relation to my 11 year old, I have been litigant in person and this is the one that is causing me the most problems. His Mum has a solicitor and has been represented by him, albeit a friend of her families.

Just a bit of background, I separated from my son’s mum in 2004 and enjoyed regular staying contact until July 2011 when contact was stopped. Reason given for it stopping was “it was not beneficial”. Now just going back to the mum of my 4 year old, who I was well into court proceedings with, became friends with my 11 year old son’s mum on the dreaded Facebook. Now this may be a coincidence that contact was stopped, within a week or so of them becoming friends, I shall let you make your mind up!

After contact was stopped with the 11 year old, my Mother still had staying contact until June 2013 and other members of my family had contact when that was all stopped (again maybe a coincidence but I started proceedings in June 2013)

During the time of July 2011 and June 2013, I saw my son many times even though it was against the every growing list of reasons why I should not. I never gave up any opportunity to see him and spend some time with him. It was always when he was with my mother or some other family member and every time he was pleased to see me, told me he loved me and missed me. He always asked when he could see me again and come and stay, I never passed any nasty comment against his mum and always said that I was trying to work it out with her. When contact was stopped with my mother and my family I had no chance of seeing him.
The court process ran its course, multiple allegations that were duplicated from my other case, and all were unfounded. I was granted indirect contact and I wrote many letters. CAFCASS were ordered to do a wishes and feelings report and this was concluded in November 2013.

This report was not good and basically he said he didn’t want to see me saying things like “I really don’t need him, in a way I’ve gone off him…I know he is there..I am not really bothered what he does”.

I claimed that my son, only 6 months prior to that wanted to see me, wrote me notes saying he loved me etc. and that there has been some alienation going on because my ex has been implacably hostile. The magistrates accepted and ordered another wishes and feelings report in April this year after continuing indirect contact.

This report was slightly better and was more positive saying that he would give contact a go and he would try, even though it had been a while since he had contact with me. The author of the report also stated that she was concerned of the reaction of mum when she was told the decision of my son. She was concerned about the “surprise and dissatisfaction” that was visible on her face. Mum also questioned CAFCASS if she had influenced my son’s decision in any way. The very next day, CAFCASS had several phone calls from mum saying my son had changed his mind.

The recommendation of CAFCASS was for progressive full contact and in a final hearing; I obtained an order for the same (give or take a bit)

I met my son for one hour and we went ice skating, he and I were nervous but we even had a laugh. He thanked me for a birthday present and we chatted a bit about that. After the session he agreed to meet me again in two weeks (as per the order).

As the days went past, trying to organise that session was difficult. I have to send all correspondents via her solicitor because mum is refusing to chat via email to me. The next session was arranged and we met. My son said that he did not want to see me again and that he had changed his mind. I started to explore his feelings and he kept saying that he has got used to not seeing me and was adamant that it was his choice and “not my mums”.

I managed to persuade him to chat to me on the phone the week after and we did. He said again that he has not changed his mind. I explained simply this was a court order and that the judge has said for us to meet, he said “you cannot force me”. He said he was happy where he was and I said that, in the long run, he would be happier to have both parents in his life. He said he didn’t want to be happier. My son also said “look, you have what you want now give me what I want and that is not to see you”. I could hear someone/something in the background of the phone call and because of the gaps in between me asking a question and him answering; I think his mum was feeding him the answer. When I asked a few times who was there, I got an immediate answer.

I sent an email to the solicitor arranging the next session and reminding about it being a court order. The reply I got back was basically..its your son’s decision that he doesn’t want to see you so you must respect that.

The problem I have now is about my options. Something happened to my son’s personality last year around when I issued proceedings. Something happened between my first contact session and my second session. CAFCASS reports have picked up mum’s disapproval to contact and also my sons willingness, when not with his mum, to have contact with me.
Can I go back to court and vary the final order and ask for CAFCASS or some other agency to get involved in helping my son out. Can I get an enforcement order but vary the original order then get it enforced?

I do believe parental alienation has taken place on a large scale, but I also think that my son is feeling guilty because of his loyalty to his mum that anything that my son is happy with, is contradicted to ensure mum is not upset.

I believe that emotional and psychological abuse has taken place since last year and this gives me a concern for welfare and I am not sure whether to go to Children Services (part of social services) and state the same to them.

Has anyone had a similar problem or can anyone else suggest a way forward?

Thanks in advance and sorry it is so long  :zzz: