[Solved] Hurting

It sounds like you have the backing of Cafcass with regard to your child's wishes and feelings and I would think the court will take their recommendations on board.

I hope so mate but with cafcass you never know i mentioned mediation to them on phone last week and they where quiet pleased with the idea but now have said its premature cause ex is not willing so i dont know if they need the courts backing so my ex takes notice my indirect contact is going good and my child said to cafcass if my mum was there id go to contact with the idea i imagine of it leading to unsupervised but my ex us saying no no no to everything .i know the psychologist said if contact is to happen which he said he thinks i will see my child then mum beeds to have a different mind set but so far shes not budging

It sounds like you have the backing of Cafcass with regard to your child's wishes and feelings and I would think the court will take their recommendations on board.

I hope so mate but with cafcass you never know i mentioned mediation to them on phone last week and they where quiet pleased with the idea but now have said its premature cause ex is not willing so i dont know if they need the courts backing so my ex takes notice my indirect contact is going good and my child said to cafcass if my mum was there id go to contact with the idea i imagine of it leading to unsupervised but my ex us saying no no no to everything .i know the psychologist said if contact is to happen which he said he thinks i will see my child then mum beeds to have a different mind set but so far shes not budging

I assume Cafcass will have to (if they haven't already) put this information in a report to court.

You could try putting forward the suggestion of a CCI - I've known people with these have a session together with the Cafcass officer before then introducing the child in to the mix.

Personally I don't think mediation is going to get you much further than you are now......you can't reason with an unreasonable person and if a psychologist has said mum needs to change her mind set, then the court and Cafcass are going to need to take a firm hand on this case to move it forward.

There are a few powers available to court and Cafcass - there is a CCI, a Family Assistance Order and a Cafcass Monitoring Order. It's worth having a google of those and seeing what will fit your circumstances or suggest all of them to the court. If your child is saying they would see you, then it's clear this needs to move forward and you will need assistance to do that.

I assume Cafcass will have to (if they haven't already) put this information in a report to court.

You could try putting forward the suggestion of a CCI - I've known people with these have a session together with the Cafcass officer before then introducing the child in to the mix.

Personally I don't think mediation is going to get you much further than you are now......you can't reason with an unreasonable person and if a psychologist has said mum needs to change her mind set, then the court and Cafcass are going to need to take a firm hand on this case to move it forward.

There are a few powers available to court and Cafcass - there is a CCI, a Family Assistance Order and a Cafcass Monitoring Order. It's worth having a google of those and seeing what will fit your circumstances or suggest all of them to the court. If your child is saying they would see you, then it's clear this needs to move forward and you will need assistance to do that.

cheers for this i just hope that they can move our case along because im doing all i can and am being resenable but ex is saying child hates me doesnt wznt to see me however when child is not infrint of mum she shows nice feelings to people but child wont even say my name in front of mum im just scared cause i dont wanna lose her

You are a hero 1234homeland, what you have been putting up with for as long as you have, not many would be capable of that. When your ex says ridiculous things like the child hates you, you need to realise that's your ex's own fears coming to the surface. She is sick, mentally sick. I'm really sorry you are having such a hard time, you truly are a hero for what you're going through.

Have a really good look at some of the suggestions to see if they will fit for you. I would imagine your ex is on shaky ground now if she's telling the court that the child's view of you is one thing but your child is giving a different story to Cafcass.

I meant to ask - where does the psychologist come in to this and what do they recommend? What are Cafcass recommending? Do you have someone to help you prepare for your hearing? I would suggest finding a Families Need Fathers meeting near you to get some support.

Best wishes

You are a hero 1234homeland, what you have been putting up with for as long as you have, not many would be capable of that. When your ex says ridiculous things like the child hates you, you need to realise that's your ex's own fears coming to the surface. She is sick, mentally sick. I'm really sorry you are having such a hard time, you truly are a hero for what you're going through.

thank you for your kind words i will never give up thank you for your support and i know every second is so tough for fathers going thru this nightmare but stay strong every father one day our children will find out the truth and will know every father will fight for there kids .respect to everyone person on here who is fighting this nightmare

Have a really good look at some of the suggestions to see if they will fit for you. I would imagine your ex is on shaky ground now if she's telling the court that the child's view of you is one thing but your child is giving a different story to Cafcass.

I meant to ask - where does the psychologist come in to this and what do they recommend? What are Cafcass recommending? Do you have someone to help you prepare for your hearing? I would suggest finding a Families Need Fathers meeting near you to get some support.

Best wishes

Thank you yoda i will have a good look over some of the suggestions to see if its appropriate for us.
The psychologist was ordered to do a family assessment and a pyschological assesment on myself due to concerns over myself ri ging on numerous occassions to get referrals sent etc which qas deemed obsessive! The final recommendations was my childs view to him was that they didnt want to see me however he doesnt believe that and does not know to what extent of my childs feelings are true due to divided loyalties and feelings of guilt towards mum. Fundemenrally he says the issues lie between mum and me and that myself and my child have a good relationship.
As far as cafcass goes i do not know there take on the report or moving forward as i am waiting for their analysis report due this week sometime.
I will look into the families need fathers support near me though i do have support from people close to me.
Thank you again for your reply.