[Solved] How would a court view this?

Hi there

As i have said before, I feel it is in your sons best interests to remain at the school, he has had enough upheaval recently and the school have experience and the extra support in place that he needs. The fact that his family life has been fragmented is unavoidable, but to increase his distress by removing him from his friends/peer group would just make his sense of isolation worse....this is what I would be arguing anyway. Does he have a good and close relationship with his grandmother? It's perfectly acceptable for grandparents to step in with support when families are struggling, if he trusts your mum then she could be a settling influence on him and she is providing him with the much needed security and continuity he needs right now...how is his behaviour when he is with her?

As you say, its a short term arrangement but changes need to be carefully managed for him at the moment.

The dad didn't turn up at court, that's not the action of a parent wanting their child back! You have a PSO so I don't know where the SS are coming from really...but it's often the case that the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing with them unfortunately.

Thanks NJ. This is my view on it totally.
Hes doing amazing with my mum, my dad says he never shuts up, which usually hes really quiet and withdrawn. Hes in when they say and generally knuckling down. Theyve had no problems with him at all. The main thing is hes getting up in a morning and going to school with no issues.

Its def a case of SS not knowing what they are doing, yesterday when they called me they hadnt even read the file! All my calls with them from now on are being recorded because all they do is give me conflicting advice.

Once again, thanks for you advice.

Speak to the school and ask them if they have noticed he's more settled since he's been staying with his grandparents. If you can get a letter from the head stating that they feel its better if he stay with them for now and if they've noticed he's been more settled and his timekeeping has improved since he's been at your parents, ask them to mention this too.

I'm glad your son is doing well, it's probably been good for him to step outside of the dynamic between you and your ex and this is being reflected in his behaviour. We all need a breather from time to time and children are no different. At your parents he's not being pulled in any one direction and he doesn't feel he is being disloyal to either of you.

Tell,the school you are trying to convince the SW that you have your sons best interests at heart and that the arrangement that is in place for him at the moment is working,

Thank you.
I'm just waiting a call back from school. School really have been amazing and I'm glad they've been honest with me in that they believe he isn't ready for a move, even though he's causing so much disruption where he is.
Dad used to make excuses for him not to do detention and often argued with the teacher defending the eldest once by saying "well I hated coming to school so I don't blame him".
If he goes back now we'll just be going round in circles and it will only be a matter of weeks before it all starts again. What he needs is to settle down, calm down and knuckle down, he definitely has that support whilst at my mums.

What you say about him being on neutral ground completely makes sense. I hadn't even thought of it like that.

Thanks again

Yeyyyyy!! Good news.
School rang, I asked if they thought he had improved, got worse or remained the same....

IMPROVED! Apart from chewing gum (we've all done that right) Hes a lot better.

I spoke with them about what SS had said and they agreed he would just end up going backwards....

Onwards 🙂

That's good news...I would try and get some documentary evidence from the school to back you up.

Excellent news, both for the school and for you 🙂