[Solved] How to stop ex wife moving 100's of miles away

Well done, please keep us updated and we will help where we can. Good luck!

Have been told not to post anything further on this matter from her solicitor, sorry!

That's fair enough. You can post general questions if you need advice, but avoid specifics of the case.

Hi there

I've noted your contact details and will get in touch. 🙂

Hi All, Since our separation in May 2017, I have had my daughter every weekend and it has been wonderful to build that relationship. My child is 19 months. The mother is now moving from London to Wales as she her boyfriend of three months is from there.

I am scared out of my wits for the impact this will have on my ongoing relationship with my daughter.

Reading this thread I have some questions

1. Should I get a solicitor or do the C100 myself (I don't have surplus money)

2. Is the below statement for section 5b sufficient to prevent or delay her from moving? If not, what more can I add?

3. My impression is that I have no chance for full custody or full-time-resident-parent status due to how the law is here, with that in mind, is there good odds in trying to apply for 'shared parenting' (1 week with me, 1 week with her etc)

4, My last question is that I have audio and messaging evidence of her smoking cannabis regularly when we were together. I know she still does but I don't have proof. Is this worth mentioning to the court and what are the ramifications? She is a decent mother but she is very pro-weed due to the culture she is from (it why we separated)

5b: We have tried a parenting plan and mediation has been sought. Neither has been successful and now I am resorting to the court. CAO is requested in the interest of the child. The respondent has indicated that she intends to move soon to Wales. A PSO is requested to prevent her move away from the borough of Hillingdon, London, as it would affect the already long-term and regular contact I have with the child. The move will also take the child away from her wider family (on both the respondent and applicant side) and a community of friends she has made in the church and regular playgroups I take her to. The respondent has failed to lay out her proposal of contact, travel, education and housing for the child and a move this early will striffle building a relationship which is crucial at her age

You should be able to do this yourself, so you should save on solicitors fees. You could use a McKenzie's friend, which means you'll get the one to one advice and help with forms etc, but at much lower cost than a solicitor, and they can't speak for you in court.

With regards to the PSO, I have strong doubts that you will succeed - the courts generally won't prevent the parent with care from moving unless they feel the prime reason is to prevent contact from taking place, but since your ex has a genuine reason for moving, I suspect the court won't prevent the move. On that basis, you may be better concentrating on what order you would need to get meaningful contact, both now and in the future.

Hi there

Solicitors fees are costly, if you feel that you are able to go it alone is doable. We have many ads here that have done so with much success. Some do a lot of the preliminary work themselves and use a direct access barrister for the final hearing. You might also like to think about using a McKenzie Friend, they do charge, but not as much as a solicitor. As they are unregulated, it's sensible to get recommendation and do your research. If this is something you might like to consider, you can message the Moderators with your location and they may be able to point you in the right direction.

Instead of saying "the child" it would be better to say either our child, or use their name. Other than that it's ok, you've kept it brief and to the point.

If you think she may be intending to move soon, it might be better to make an urgent application. As the relationship with the boyfriend is only 3months old, I'd also make reference to that, it really isn't long enough to give up everything and move so far away.

You're right about full custody being unlikely, the courts only transfer residence if there are serious safeguarding issues. There's nothing to stop you from asking for a shared care arrangement, so that the order states that your child lives with you both.

As you don't have proof of any current drug use, it might be counter productive and create a great deal of strain between you, which might not help if you're seeking a shared care arrangement... the court are more likely to consider it if you usually get on.

When you speak to CAFCASS you could mention that she was a cannabis user when you were together, which was why you separated, but I would also say that she is a good mother, as you have stated that she is.

All the best

Thank you both for your response. I was able to get an urgent hearing,WITHOUT notice, and was successful in achieving a PSO. My child now currently lives with me. The next hearing is around the corner, which means my child has been in my full time care for over two months! 🙂

In that time, the mother has only visited her twice (as she now lives in Wales)

I am hoping this will strengthen my case come next hearing? Status-Quo + Not important figure in my child life?

I honestly do not know what will happen in the next hearing - so many conflicting advice such as:

1. A CAFCASS report is likely to be requested and my child will remain with me until the report is complete and a final judgement made

2. The mother would need to make a C100 application to retract my existing PSO and without it, the hearing would just be a case of her stating her side?

3. A final order could be made etc

Anyone got any advice on what they feel is likely to happen? My only concern is that to support my full time job, I have put my child in nursery whereby she is flourishing. However, I did not inform the mother and she has recently found out and demanding that I remove her from Nursery.

(i did not inform due to concern she would extract the child a)

What is likely to happen? Some say:

4. Though I was wrong for not consulting the mother, It not in my child best interest to suddenly yank her out as she is now settled and happy

5. I have to remove her immediately

6. The judge won't be as concerned with it as s/he will with the other evidence I have on her (domestic abuse, drug abuse, suicidal thoughts, violent and aggressive behaviour)

Any pointers? The last thing to point out is that I do have messages from her stating "not to contact her unless it about visitations" (could I use this to argue for not informing her) and message from a year ago stating that "if I am adamant about taking her to nursery then I should take her (i.e. pay for it etc)" (this can be a 'permission to do so'). Does this help or is it clutching at straws?

Thank you.

Hi there

That’s great news, well done!

I’ll try to answer your questions -

1. It’s possible that a Section 7 report will be ordered at the next hearing, this is a detailed welfare report that goes into some depth about you both, your environment, the issues and most importantly the child... depending on the child’s age, she may be talked to to ascertain her wishes and feelings.

As far as removing the child from your care, I would say, because of the mothers disinterest and lack of contact, they’re likely to leave her with you.

2. Only the court can change an order, it’s likely that the PSO would stay in place for the duration of the case. At any time during proceedings either party can apply for new directions or another order, but that would be done with form C2.

Any orders made during proceedings are known as interim orders and these can change as the case progresses.

3. Any hearing can become a final hearing, if the judge feels that the issues have been adequately addressed.

In my opinion, there’s nothing wrong with putting a child in nursery. If she settled well and is flourishing the court should be happy with that. What reason has the mother got for demands to remove her?

It’s reasonable to be fearful that the child might be removed, just share your concern with the court, but concentrate on the fact that it’s good for your child’s development and perfectly normal for children to attend nursery to allow for the parents work commitments. I would get a written report from the nursery about how well your child has settled and how she is developing.

If the mother had directed you not to contact her unless it was about contact with the child, I would also tell the court that you were mindful of that.

The mother could argue that she should have been informed, but it’s hardly pivotal for her case. I doubt the court would order you remove your child immediately, they may just instruct you to keep the mother informed of any important decisions in the future.

I think you’re worrying over small points, that will not effect the bigger picture here, concentrate on putting your case in a positive way. Its about how well your child is doing and the benefits of living with you. How well she has settled, her developmental goals being reached, things she enjoys doing with you and that she is settled into a good routine that provides her with the security and consistency she needs to grow and develop.

All the best

Just read back and note that your child is still fairly young, too young to be talked to. If you can provide evidence that shows how settled and happy she is that will help, so a letter from the nursery would help to inform the court in that respect.

Thank you Mojo

Removing my child from nursery:

1. She states it unhealthy for a child that age to be in full time nursery
2. She also makes it personal by saying I need to look after her

Nursery statement:

3. I will have this to hand before my hearing 🙂

Thank you for your message - it has given me tremendous amount of peace and makes me feel this may be one of the rare cases of a Dad actually being deemed fit to meet the needs of his child. My ex-partner confidence in her position stems from the preposition of 'court always gives the child to the mother'.

I hope the court understands not all mothers are "maternal" and not all fathers are "dead beats"

I am so thankful that I even have these two months to spend with my child - it has been such a blessing!

Thanks!

Delete