[Solved] how to proceed? (access/care proceedings)

Hi, new member. This may go on but I'll be as brief as I can, I fully understand I can not receive expert legal advice or have a magic wand delivered, posting is partly just to "get it out" and get some feedback. I am beyond lost, surviving day to day, and this really is the be all and end all of any support. Ive no family, no friends due to moving about and isolating myself as a coping mechanism.

2009 I ended my relationship with then partner. We have two children, son and daughter, aged 11 and 9. Relationship was never brilliant to begin with, stupidly fell for trap she set by getting "accidently" pregant, did the decent thing and stood by her. Moved out of house with just my clothes, and my pc (she then abandoned this house, not before trashing it, only took her own clothes, none of kids stuff part from clothes on their backs, and moved to wales to a hostel.. all unknown to me, finally found out via police..i moved back in, she then returned few months later after eviction from hostel for repeated alcohol abuse/rule breaking, I again amicably moved out to a friends temporarily)

Sporadically allowed contact, many times not turning up, turning late, not returning to pick up kids on time, sometimes drunk, or acting erratically (she had again abandoned house to go a local hostel so staff on hand when she was drunk, children's services informed.. useless..)

met soon to be wife, ex stopped contact full stop. Tried repeatedly for access, ex made threats to make allegations of domestic violence against me, one occasion she gained access to my home and nearly got her hands on kitchen knives, threatening to stab me. Had my son with her, daughter in school, drunk, kicked son like a taking a corner kick, police attended after locking her inside and us outside, she then stripped naked and urinated in the back of police car, kept in overnight..

she then moved, moved kids schools several times, even though I have PR, couldn't trace them.

2012, found out where kids living, knocked. Allowed me to see kids for an hour, both (she alone) agreed if I got "solicitors letter she would "allow" access. No contact again, threatened again, made decision to keep distance as I thought if this is hurting me, then being in-out of kids lives must be hurting them. Biggest mistake of my life, repeatedly made childrens services aware, just to get a call back was a miracle.

May 2015, received letter from childrens service's (different borough from me) asking me to make contact "ASAP" Which I did, to be told children were removed and placed in foster care. I was not told as to why, when I asked about access, the (female) social worker nonchalantly and condescendingly replied,

"why do you want access now when you haven't bothered since...."

Informed the above, she stated the only way that would happen would be after I had gained legal representation, which I duly did, then rang the SS again to see about proceeding to next stage, SS then proceeded to laugh down the phone, called me a perpetrator of domestic violence, and no way would she be consenting me to see the kids, also stated children have not asked to see you, no answer when asked if they had asked that question. When I challeneged the allegations, stating no convictions, no arrests, no police attendance during or after relationship(which none did happen) she stated she doesn't need evidence.

2 months after the above I finally received a bundle of paperwork from my legal aid female 20 something trainie solicitor who made god seem more contactable (now have a different solicitor within same firm, after a "restructure")

Old solicitor handed me paperwork asking me to read and start preperaring a statement consisting of my side of story. No warning of content.. long story short, details abuse of kids by ex's then partners teenage son, which ex has admitted knowledge of and evidence of her attempts of deception of cover ups of the abuse. Various statements from teachers, neighbours, A&E staff, son taken to hospital with head injury, stated fell down stairs in front of mother, when alone admitted "mum threw a tin of beans at my head when I asked for more because I was still hungry"

Daughter attended school with black eye, constantly attending school "smelly" and "dirty" (words used) mother several times didnt pick them up at all or late, witnessed calling son a "nob jockey" witnessed by teacher picking up son and throwing him into a chair, falling over drunk in head teachers office. Social workers stated visited home, no gas or electricity, house filthy, kids say they were left alone all weekend with the paedophile while she stayed with a male, "having [censored] and drinking" she admits this and states she cant remember the person or the address.

Kids have displayed sexualised behaviour various times and also "trauma play" just goes on and on, and gets far worse, I couldn't manage to finish it without vomiting and breaking down.

This all went on over a long period of time. How the [censored] was allowed to happen? Why no intervention sooner? I am STILL waiting for assessment for contact, yet she is having supervised contact at her alcohol rehab unit! Nice bit of funding there.....

I am no angel, not perfect, but not violent, and although the SS somehow seems to be taking her side, the paperwork does admit and mention of the lack of evidence, her deviousness, deception and a lot of other stuff which contradicts her a lot..

My mental health was never great before this due to a bad childhood, I swore as I held my newborn daughter not a few hours old, id not let happen what happened to me as a child, and its happened.

I FULLY understand the childrens needs and welfare are all that matters.. police are aware but passing the buck social workers.

I had pretty much given up, twice walked out into traffic. Left my wife, and pretty much gone weeks at a time not speaking anyone bar my doctor. I admit my [censored] poor choice in women, I should be stayed but we were living separate lives as it was.. why do some parents talk to their kids like adults? sommuch stuff I could say, faking burglaries for loans, embracing victimhood like a real trooper, and she THINKS SHE IS GETTING THEM BACK! SAYS LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING A NEW HOUSE FOR thEM ALL, yup abandoned that house too..

just want some advice on how to move forward and at least try for contact, and bring the professional persons who did nothing to account.. i am not blaming, but its in black and white, page after page, they had nearly two years to put a stop to this, I say this with no over reaction, they are lucky to be alive.