[Solved] How to deal with an Ex who just wants to fight and

Hi Charlie

Difficult ex's are the norm on this forum!

Perhaps you could write to her formally to discuss the negatives of not having a direct line of communication, for instance if you or your child were to become ill, if you were held up and were unable to drop off at an allotted time etc.

Remind her too what the communication book is for and how it can be no substitute for a direct line to one another in an emergency.

Be friendly and remind her that it is in your childs best interests that you both try and be civil with each other for your sons sake, and any sense that he has that there is animosity between you will effect him negatively, more as he gets older. Urge her to put the past behind and realise that you are both irrevocably tied together for many years to come, as loving parents of your son, and that at the end of the day you both want what is best for him.

Best of luck.

...I also meant to say that you could think about mediation to try and move forward.

Thanks Mojo I may try to write a letter to her but she just loves the drama so not sure how well that will go down. I think for some cases mediation would be a good course of action but in my case alas it would be a waste of both time and money. I say this having been there before and her not listening to a word I said. It got to the point where the mediators were questioning her answers and because she could not answer them with a logical answer she started crying. (bit too much info there maybe??)

I have tried to kill her with kindness but that also fails she just wants to fight all the time. The odd thing (Laced with sarcasm) is that all the trouble started when i moved in with my new partner..

Really could do with out having to go back to court as the last time it cost me 12k which am still paying off!

...new partners do tend to draw out the worse in ex's!

Mediation is now mandatory before an application to court can be made anyway. If you ended up taking court action you would be applying for a Specific Issue Order, it would be fairly straightforward and you could quite easily self represent, many here do.

Perhaps a solicitors letter might be a cheaper option than ourt. The solicitor could point out the necessity for a direct line of communication and the fact that if agreement can't be reached court would be the next step.

Best of luck

Your not wrong there. Thanks for your advise mate Think a letter from a solicitor maybe the best option moving forward. Though i must admit am hoping this does not en-flame the situation. Dealing with someone who feels the need to act as she does is mentally draining ( I get enough of that at work!) Not the abuse just the lack of though into things.

Yes mediation is mandatory I had to go to it 2 years ago I think or was it last year (brain is not what it used to be) before we proceeded to court. Which in itself was a very painful process. Where painful see my costs! lol

But it was worth it in the end as I get over night contact with my son which is the most important thing. and even got to take him away on holiday this year.