[Solved] How to beat the Greedy Ex

However much advice you get fron here, if your ex is trying it on in the divorce, then you'd need to seek legal advice anyway as we're not experts in divorce proceedings, with the exception of the fact that a lot of us have been through it. Why isn't your solicitor being proactive? If you aren't happy with the service you are getting, then you need to speak to them to voice your concerns, and if you still aren't happy, then you'd need to change your solicitor. I think where the ex is playing the system, you really need professional legal advice, especially if her solicitor is advising her on how to keep within the law but to get what she wants.

Thank you for the reply. And still the charade goes on. She has her feller permanently living with her but is still playing the single mother card struggling to make ends meet.

I am thinking of letting this go all the way and defending myself in court. As anyone had experience of this? or can offer any advice. First of all we have to get through mediation which she has requested. but i fear because of her lack of transparency it will be a waste of time.

This is dragging on so much part of me just thinks lie down and give her what she wants. But that will mean selling the family home. and uprooting my kids when i have them and my Girlfriend and her daughter.

I just dont know what to do for the best?

Hi There,
.
I didn't go through court and I only know 1 person who has, he used a barrister and also a solicitor and it's cost him not far off 10k, so what I would say over anything else is look at what it may cost you to fight over the equity of teh house and pension and weigh that up against what you stand to gain "IF" you win and get a higher percentage of the equity. You may not gain anything from going to court, or you may gain enough to cover your legal costs so you need to decide whether it's worth going that route.
.
I would imagine that you might be able to fight through court and if you are lucky get your equity up to 35-40% which isn't much of an increase from where the current offer is, your ex is also entitled to 50% of your pension at it's current value.
.
It's horrile when you are in the middle of it, but sometimes letting things go and accepting a lower amount than you really wanted can save you money and stress.
.
GTTS

Thanks for your reply! and i very much share your views. but i just carnt stand by whilst she just does this. See in 2006 i chucked 35k into the Marriage from my Granddads estate. He farther passed 2011, 2 years before we separated and left her 25k overseas and shes claiming it as not a matrimonial asset!! Coupled with this Co-habitation with my former good friend for neigh on 3 years it absolutely stinks. She is coming out with more a month interms of Tax credits wage and housing benefit than me on a modest wage. who's paid the Joint mortgage alone for 3 years.

I feel what the [censored], go to court Defend myself and see where it gets me. I certainly wont be using a solicitor! chucking 10k at is is foolish. I need to oust her for what she is and hope the Judge agrees. I still have the kids 2 nights a week, in the holidays this equates to weeks at a time. My partner has moved in with me and her child is at the school around the corner with my daughter. We are a really happy unit but.... Just really under pressure to move on.

Hi There,
.
If you are able to go through court without using legal assistance, then it would be worthwhile trying to see what extra percentage you can gain, it may be worth having a solicitor on retainer in case you need advice quickly, so that you could call and speak to them for advice during the proceedings, rather than have them attend.
.
I would imagine that if your ex uses a solicitor they would try and tie you in knots in the court room as you don't have one to back you up.
.
Good luck and let us know what you decide.
.
GTTS

Always take legal advice on matters of finance. Your choice if you want to use a solicitor. The other option is to look for a lawyer or barrister qualified McKenzie Friend. They can't usually speak for you in court but have the same knowledge of a solicitor, can negotiate at court before hearings, and sit next to you to offer quiet advice during it. It's a much more cost effective option and ensures you have legal support of some kind.

Thanks so much for your help guys! really appreciate this. I've never heard of a McKenzie Friend. How do you go about arranging one of these? Seems a great option.

Status is now she is pushing for Mediation. so i tried to arrange a free hearing turns out its been arranged by her solicitor. Straight away i feel this is not impartial as i'm sure Solicitors have preferred suppliers, you know chums at the rotary club etc. so i might even go back on this point,

Truth is i feel the Mediator route is just a box tick to court proceedings. So ill update when i have some more developments. its certainly has helped me guys so thanks. Meanwhile ill look at this Mckenzie Friend option. I like him already! 🙂

Just a word of warning. McKenzie Friends are not regulated so do your homework. Ask for recommendations if you can. You can pm one of us moderators and we might be able to recommend someone for your area or ask some of our members if they have any recommendations for your area. MF's can be a great option but if using one for finances, they NEED to be qualified.

Unless the suggested mediator is tied to your ex's firm of solicitors, there's nothing underhand about them arranging it. I would advise that you attend if requested, you might be able to resolve things that way and if not, you can at least tell the court you tried. Attempting mediation is mandatory before a court application can be made.

Thanks Yoda

Yes i am very interested in this route. I am from the Home of Robin Hood so if anyone can help me prevent getting Daylight Robbed then i'm all ears. Seriously please PM me any advice or assistance?

I was wondering with this McKenzie Friend Process can anyone of standing support you? IE a close associate to me not trained in law in anyway but is sharp as a tack and an excellent negotiator for a living? Was just a thought as he as been a confidant through out this coming upto 3 year brutal process.

I believe that pretty anyone can be a McKenzie friend for you, in that they can come to court to support you - though you do need to ask the court for permission to come into the court. So if you know what you are doing, they may be there simply to help you lay your hands on the right document, or to take notes so you don't have to worry about forgetting anything that was said while not interrupting your flow. If, however, you are looking for someone with more legal knowledge, then its the professional McKenzie friend that you are after.

Hi, yes, anyone can be a McKenzie Friend but they are not supposed to have a personal interest in your case. If you want legal guidance and support then look for a professional one with legal qualifications in divorce and finance.