[Solved] How old does a child need to be for mediation?

Sorry to hear you've had a hard time with it.

There's never any witnesses when these things happen is there - why would there be?!

I have spoken to the police a few times (two of those times they asked me to go to the station). Other than that I've logged everything since our break up in diaries over the years, which I'm told can be worth their weight in gold, as I guess it would be a crazy length to go to to record every contact and incident over the last four years for the sake of lying.

Like you, I've been made to feel I'm being pathetic, mainly by my ex and Cafcass, and it was my dad who told me I should call the police the first and second times, as I was worried I'd be wasting police time. The third time I spoke to them was just last week. The police have always said I've been right to call them though, and always encourage me to ring them straightaway if anything happens now. So it's always worth doing, and we can call the non emergency number on 101 if we're worried about bothering them too much.

I have no doubt my ex will lie through her teeth about me and anything I've accused her of if I get to court. It's what she does best. It's what worries me the most, as last time Cafcass took most of her rubbish verbatim. Cafcass is a whole other rant haha.

It's good that you've already spoken with the Police and they should have records in their notes so that's good to have as back up. if things escalate at least you can ask in court for them to order full police disclosure to aid you in proving what you're saying.

Don't get me started about CAFCASS! .... from the stories i've read and my own experiences it seems to be a total lottery as to whether you get one that can see through the lies or not... that also goes for Judges too... some will see the truth and challenge the CAFCASS oficer others will just go along with what CAFCASS sugests!
the last case worker i had went purely on face value and took what lies the ex came out with as right and the alledged wishes of a child of 7 at the time and despite all the history of my case with all the written and documented proof they totally ignored anything i had to say or could prove.
i made an official complaint that went as up to the government department in charge of regulating them, and they just came back with the the CAFCASS officer had followed all check lists and tools set out for them and that its up to the personal opinion of each CAFCASS officer to make recommendations or not and for me to challenge that in court if i do not agree.

Hopefully that's enough for them.

Just going on face value with two people they've never met (if it's the first time CAFCASS have been involved) is crazy really. I mean, it's a basic tool of being a human not to take everything on face value. You can't just ignore evidence and proof. And at the same time you can't ignore the fact there is no evidence when these bitter mums tell their lies.

I had a call from a mediator today who my ex had been in to see, asking me to come and chat with her before having a mediation session together. I said my daughter was only 5, and they said that was fine. I told them that I would need to seek some advice before committing to anything, and explained I was in the process of trying to get back to court to sort out a load of contact and harassment issues, and that we were beyond mediation at this point. The reason my ex wants mediation is a bit different to why I'm hoping to take her back to court, but to me it still makes no difference to go to mediation, especially when mediation has failed twice before, and the third session she failed to show up to.

At one point in the phone call she said if I refused to go to mediation, my ex is in her right to apply for court. But I don't think my ex will get far based on her reasons (see original post), unless she is making up some rubbish about me whilst she's at it?

I am awaiting the decision from Legal Aid, based on past abuse, ongoing harassment, and contact issues, so I don't technically have a solicitor right now, although the solicitor I'm hoping to use was in touch last week when I told them I'd been to the police, as they wanted to know what happened. Should I tell them about this and ask for advice? I don't want to bug them if I'm not paying them or getting Legal Aid.

It can't hurt to speak with the solicitor.

Attending mediation isn't the be all and end all in court. Quite often, failure to attend, gets glossed over.

Personally, you may as well just apply yourself and get the ball rolling.

If there's a lot of evidence, you will get your chance to put this forward.

All the best

Well, I didn't hear back from the solicitor, and the mediator called again asking whether I wanted to go ahead, so I declined. We're way past mediation and my ex just can't be mediated - she's a loose cannon who does what she wants with or without mediation, and I don't see my ex taking me to court because I'm requesting to have my daughter stay with me for a court-permitted amount of time, plus I have plans to take her to court anyway, so it doesn't make sense.

I agree with Yoda, it seems to me that the next step for you is a court application, and you may as well get the ball rolling.

If there’s anything you’re not sure about, please don’t hesitate to ask.

Best of luck